|
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 04:29 AM
|
|
Beer/drinking funnies.
I don't know if these quotes are real, but I thought some funny.
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~ Frank Sinatra
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
I do love Stephen Wright :)
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
And the best for last,
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
~ Cliff Clavin
|
|
|
Cars & Trucks Expert
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 04:36 AM
|
|
I watched the episode of Cheers when Cliff said that... and I've seen the others, too. All appear to be not just funny, but genuine as well. And, yes... Stephen Wright is WAY funny. Thanks, Rick
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 05:27 AM
|
|
More!
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - Humphrey Bogart
"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." - Abraham Lincoln
"Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink." - W.C. Fields
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Sir Winston Churchill
"Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson
:D
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 05:32 AM
|
|
Cliff, you monster you. Don't drink beer it's for those who can't hold their liquor;)
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 05:35 AM
|
|
Haha, excellent additions :p
|
|
|
Cars & Trucks Expert
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 05:43 AM
|
|
"If I had more hands, I'd drink more beer!"
|
|
|
Senior Member
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 05:45 AM
|
|
O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! That we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts! ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ~ Oscar Wilde
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~ W. Clement Stone
And to finish, one of my favourite quotes from the Simpsons;
Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: [smiling to self] And how!
Excellent thread! There's so many to add too!
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Sep 13, 2007, 06:02 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by RickJ
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
~ Cliff Clavin
That's it. I'm drinking a 6 pack before a test from now on!!
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Sep 14, 2007, 05:19 PM
|
|
Great pic captain rich!!
Oh yeah, funny beer jokes too!!
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
Some more Funnies :)
[ 7 Answers ]
A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired
A will is a dead giveaway
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.
Beer
[ 1 Answers ]
I tried a beer over the weekend called "Ichnusa" from Sardinia, please can anyone tell me who supplies this.
Just some Funnies
[ 3 Answers ]
Did i read that sign right?
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below
In a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
In a london department store:
Bargain basement upstairs
In an office:
Itchy from drinking beer!
[ 1 Answers ]
Just in the last few months, when I drink beer, my eyebrows, nose and eyelids itch like crazy! I literally want to scratch my own eyes out! What the hek causes this? I don't have a problem with any food that contain yeast. I'm only alergic to sulfa. I have two or three beers, and the itching...
Beer
[ 6 Answers ]
Hello! I'm confused about the beer types. One is called draft beer, the other one, I don't know the name. OK, as far as I understand draft means that it is not pasteurized as opposed to the bottled and canned beer, but draft canned beer is sold, so it looks like contradictory. Can smebody explain...
View more questions
Search
|