How old is too old?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 14, 2007, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

atcually i am going after him not the other way around

Then you need to chill, because you are not only asking for trouble, you are placing that man in a potentially criminal and ugly situation. But if he is a decent guy, he will tell you to go home and grow up.

Miss lovley · Sep 14, 2007, 08:47 AM

I'm not trying to have sex with him so there is no criminal situation

GlindaofOz · Sep 14, 2007, 08:56 AM

Regardless of whether sex is involved you have no business chasing a grown man. You are a child. I know you don't see yourself that way but that is how a 28 year old should view a 17 year old. It doesn't mean that you aren't mature or intelligent or interesting it just means that you are young. I enjoy my 17 year old cousins company I think her friends are great kids but they are just that KIDS.

Any 28 year old who would pursue a relationship with a 17 year old is either looking at you JUST for sex, is an incredible loser who is incapable of getting a woman his own age, mentally & emotionally stunted. Does this sound like someone you would want to date?

Hello Out There · Sep 14, 2007, 09:06 AM

My cousin at the age of 16 years old was dating a guy who was 25. At first i hated him because he was older. Then we got to know him better and well here they are 5 years later getting married & living life. So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes.

So just make your decision wisely thats all. Good luck.

Chery · Sep 14, 2007, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

i'm not trying to have sex with him so there is no criminal situation

Then.. what exactly do you want from this guy?

If you find it hard to relate to guys your age, what do you think you have to offer to older ones?

Some girls think that if they 'skip' over their age group they will 'skip' over the experiences of dating and breaking up - in a way overstepping what they feel is a pain that is not worth it. But what they don't understand is that we all have to go through the learning process of meeting, dating, falling in love, breaking up, etc. It is all an important part of our emotional growth and development.

If you think you can 'skip' over this... then you might wind up in a life of always trying to be what you think 'they' want you to be and will forget your own personal growth and goals in life.

Don't do this to yourself. Taking shortcuts does not always mean you'll get to any given destination safely.

Enjoy being young.. you are only there once.

ScottGem · Sep 14, 2007, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by Hello Out There

My cousin at the age of 16 years old was dating a guy who was 25. At first i hated him because he was older. Then we got to know him better and well here they are 5 years later getting married & living life. So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes.

So just make your decision wisely thats all. Good luck.

For every success story about such an age gap, there are usually 10 times as many horror stories about adults exploiting children. Yes age DOES matter when there is an adult and a minor involved. Anyone who thinks differently is being irresponsible.

The vast majority of 25 yr olds would look on a 16 yr old as a kid. Which means the only real attraction between them would be physical and that would be sick.

Hello Out There · Sep 14, 2007, 12:25 PM

Well Scottgem I am sticking to my answer. So you can act like its sick or gross but if you know the person what's so wrong with it? Obviously she hangs around older men... like I said "So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes." So its based how the person has treated her in the past. Nothing was ever done wrong to her, why not. Whatever seems right to you go for it. Its not like your marrying him yet. Lol. If something's start changing with him then back away, it could get bad.

ScottGem · Sep 14, 2007, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by Hello Out There

Well Scottgem iam sticking to my answer. .

The problem with your answer is that you are encouraging a child in a situation where there is a strong possibility that they may be exploited. And that is VERY wrong.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 14, 2007, 02:21 PM

There is something very wrong with a 25 year old guy messing with a 16 year old girl. No adult in their right mind or with right motives does such a thing. I don't care how nice you think he is. That is criminal. He has taken advantage of a teenager.

Chery · Sep 14, 2007, 02:32 PM

Miss Lovley has not responded much but...

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

yes older guys do understand me better and are not just interested in sex. i do not beileve he could go to jail because we are not having sex and or dateing.
guys my age are SHALLOW and IMMATURE

Then she says that he is not chasing.. SHE is.

MY QUESTION WAS NOT ANSWERED YET..

What exactly do you want from this guy?

Miss lovley · Sep 14, 2007, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by Chery

Then.. what exactly do you want from this guy??

If you find it hard to relate to guys your age, what do you think you have to offer to older ones?

Some girls think that if they 'skip' over their age group they will 'skip' over the experiences of dating and breaking up - in a way overstepping what they feel is a pain that is not worth it. But what they don't understand is that we all have to go through the learning process of meeting, dating, falling in love, breaking up, etc. It is all an important part of our emotional growth and development.

If you think you can 'skip' over this... then you might wind up in a life of always trying to be what you think 'they' want you to be and will forget your own personal growth and goals in life.

Don't do this to yourself. Taking shortcuts does not alway mean you'll get to any given destination safely.

Enjoy being young.. you are only there once.

I'm not taking any shortcuts nor am I trying to I want to date an older guy

Miss lovley · Sep 14, 2007, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by Chery

Miss Lovley has not responded much but.....

Then she says that he is not chasing.. SHE is.

MY QUESTION WAS NOT ANSWERED YET..

What exactly do you want from this guy??

I want a relationship.
Someone I can talk to about whatever
Someone I can go out with and have fun
Someone to be there for me
I WANT a man not a little boy

Chery · Sep 14, 2007, 03:30 PM

That sounds fair.

But.. what you want and what they want might be two different things.

I guess you are not aware that men that old get in trouble or are actually looking for trouble when accepting advances from girls your age.

So please be careful in your effort to get your Mr. Perfect.

I can only caution you and wish you the best and hope that you don't have to give up more than you want to get there.

Miss lovley · Sep 14, 2007, 05:38 PM

I accept that but any guy that ever treats me wrong witll have to deal with my family and trust me my family is not one to mess with.

GlindaofOz · Sep 14, 2007, 05:42 PM

What do they think about your pursuit of this older guy?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 14, 2007, 07:18 PM

Do you have a good relationship with your father? I ask that because that is what a lot of young girls are looking for when they get with older men, a father figure. They just don't realize it.
A guy that age who befriends a 17 year old has either a screw loose, or that is what he wants. Mature decent men don't mess with teenagers.

Miss lovley · Sep 14, 2007, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

what do they think about your pursuit of this older guy?

No and they are not going to know

Miss lovley · Sep 14, 2007, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Do you have a good relationship with your father? I ask that because that is what a lot of young girls are looking for when they get with older men, a father figure. They just don't realize it.
A guy that age who befriends a 17 year old has either a screw loose, or that is what he wants. Mature decent men don't mess with teenagers.

My father is a dead beat and no I am not looking to replace him
And my male friend does not have screws loose thank you very much

ScottGem · Sep 15, 2007, 03:31 AM

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

no and they are not going to know

Why? Is there something you are ashamed of? If you are keeping this relationship a secret from your family, doesn't that tell you something? Sure screams out to me.

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

my father is a dead beat and no i am not looking to replace him
and my male friend does not have screws loose thank you very much

Sorry, but a 28 year old having a relationship with a 17 yr old DOES have a few screws that need tightening. Too bad you don't recognize it.

Chery · Sep 15, 2007, 03:47 AM

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

my question is

how old should the oldest guy be for me to date

i'm not sure if that makes any sense

OK, this is what you came to us for in this thread.
Then we asked you if he was chasing you, you said You were chasing him.
Throughout this you insisted that you wanted a Man and not a Boy..
We told you of the possible consequences and asked if your parents were aware..
You don't want your family to know your intentions, but you are certain that if you get hurt by anyone, they will beat the crap out of whomever..

Now.. you want FUN, someone to talk with, go places with...
You did not state what kind of FUN.. and fun to a grown man includes SEX, like it or not.. that's just FACT.
You did not state what you wanted to 'converse' about.. school? economics, history, art, etc.
You did not state what places you wanted to go to with him.. where do you want to go that you cannot go by yourself or with friends?.

I think you have a canvas in front of you and don't know with which color you want to paint with. We all have to start with an idea, and I think yours' is a fantasy that will only lead you on a very dangerous journey.

You are looking for something, but, in my opinion.. you are looking in the wrong place.

Boys are not the only ones with one-track minds.