[JlC18]

Hello. Me and my ex have not spoken to each other ina few months now, which I can easily say is my fault. I needed to change some aspects of my life and become who I was when we first started dating, and did not for some period pushing her further away (She wanted to work on everything to get back together again when we broke up).

Today would have been our 1 year anni (we dated for about 9 months). Was going to give her this letter today and some flowers.

If you could read it and give any advice/feedback that would be great.

*I have deleted names*
Dear ,

Firstly to why am I am now writing you this, and in all manners, why I feel it is most important on this day. A weird thing to think that a year ago today we started dating, so long ago but yet still a memory I can recall on the spur of the moment. Nothing like a weird alien movie for a first date, and The Ring to follow after.
This is not some attempt to say what happened was OK and things can be A-OK just like that, or to magically erase the past. For starters I will say that you were a significant part of my life for all of my senior year, and more then a girlfriend, you were my best friend, and that I truly miss about you. You are a splendid, beautiful girl, with a heart purist can be. Don’t hide yourself babe, you have a lot to offer to people, and at that people will always welcome you into their life if you allow yourself to.
To why this is being said now, and not when we first stopped talking or before we broke up, or any of that. To be honest I changed a lot, in a very bad way during the month before we broke up and a few weeks after we ceased communication. During that time, I became unhappy with myself in most manners, how I was dealing with situations involving us, my parents, and school. There is no just reason to how I treated you before or after we broke up, you tried, and I failed you and myself. For how I treated you and how I masked the truth of my unhappiness to try and work things out in a faster pace to try and get back together ( Which I thought at that time was the only thing, and now would not say that at all ), I am apologetic and sorry for those times. A simple mature conversation with you to how I was feeling would have changed a lot, instead of lashing out at you on different occasions for almost nothing.

I would like to recall two events:

Prom- Prom was absolutely amazing, you looked gorgeous, and Senior Prom is a memory that lasts for most, the rest of your life. I could not have asked for a better memory, that night I put my selfishness and turmoil within myself aside and made the best of it, and that night was absolutely magnificent. Allowing myself to let go of things put me back to where I was before all the commotion happened, about two months before prom and I was once again my happy, cheerful self.

The other was when we went to the Ocean Club. I remember you having a horrible week, and even a worse weekend. Once again, put things aside and tried to make you as happy as I could that night, like I would try and do every time we hung out while we were dating, and to my knowledge and to my belief it was a great way to get away from things from both of our lives, and enjoy each others company.

Those two nights were amazing, and reminded me how happy I was and how I made other people happy around me; which in turn made people want to be around me. Other then those two nights, I had ups and downs, basically a rollercoaster on which mood you caught me in. But once again, I was still an in other occasions to you, even when you gave clear signs of wanting to be around me and wanting to be in my life, I turned them down (The last time we hung out was a big awakener for me). That sad thing that it took me a long time to realize, I needed no contact from you or for that matter from anyone else for a long time to truly change, and be happy with myself again.
We stopped talking and I thought I had changed, that I was happy, but in all actuality in those little two and a half weeks nothing really changed about me, if anything I dwelled upon and developed newer problems. It took a lot for me to realize what I needed to do more to become the person you met a year and some odd weeks ago, a person everyone loved to be around, the person you fell in love with.
An occasion aroused in my household that instigated this change finally. I stopped communication with anyone on the face of the earth aside from my mom for almost two months, and worked on what I needed to work on, to make myself happy again so I can in turn do the same for others.

In the past about month and a half; I have never been happier with myself, and how things are going. I don’t look at the negative anymore, but how to bring light of a situation and how to help others move along. I am to say, myself again, the sweetheart that most people know me as. Which is why I can fully apologize to you now, not then. I can recognize my wrong, and only hope you can forgive me for treating you as I did for those short months. This here I would say is the first full-hearted apology I have given you.

I do want to touch on the issue of me cheating on you. You know me, and my morals. If you recall I was rather stunned when you told me you cheated on your ex, how could I ever do that to you? I do not care of your source for that matter, whoever made this fairy tale up has his own issues to resolve, the mere fact he lied to you to push you away from me is very sad. I would never, ever do that to you , no matter how much of an I was during that time, that was the last thought on my mind. If you wish to believe someone that heard something from someone from a school where while I was “popular” in the sense of knowing people, I hung out with two kids at most from the school. I do believe I know who told you this, and at that I am sorry. One of your friends approached me a few weeks ago disclosing the story to me, and all I want to say in that regard is remember the picture of me sleeping on the couch that made you upset? It was taken over two years ago, not when we were dating, remember that.

Be your own person, you have some a beautiful personality to not be. At times you conform and give into other people’s opinions and ideas. Don’t, you don’t like something, let it be known! Not just sigh along with it.
With all of that said, I am sorry I could not give this to you sooner, because one I was not sure nor ready to, and I am sorry that we are where we are today. I wish I could have changed four months ago when things were horrid, but I can’t, I didn’t even realize what I was doing to hurt you half the time, something that hurts me to realize now.

You are beautiful in every aspect, and a great person to be around. I will always care for you, and hope for the best for you. While I did not show this for a good period, I did show it for the better part of seven months of dating, which I believe says something. You will always hold a warm spot in my heart, whether this be the last thing I ever say to you, or we work through things and salvage something out of our relationship that I turned into a wreck.

There is one more thing I want to you to know, read the little card on the flowers.


Sincerely with thought,




I still do care for her in many ways, and to this day haven't been able to find myself in another relationship as of yet (which this one was my first long one, and real one). Do miss them in some manners, and miss her in a lot more. Saying this because I do have a few people that would love to date me, but for whatever reason I cannot give them that sort of support as of yet.

[talaniman]

So sweet, but what has that got to do with what she is doing now?? Prom is over and so are the dates you shared.

[JlC18]

So sweet, but what has that got to do with what she is doing now??? Prom is over and so are the dates you shared.

Was using those two examples because of it was the most recent time we spent together (aside from when we were dating) where during some point in time hanging out I didn't give her an attitude of sorts or be an about something. Basically saying it was when I was the same person from a few months ago, not some egotistical that got pissed off for any reason at her.

Was an apology letter, but also trying to show some sign of improvement over how she remembers things.

[talaniman]

Not to put you down, but some things are so beautiful if left in the past, as memories. For the present it may be best to move ahead.

[JlC18]

Not to put you down, but some things are so beautiful if left in the past, as memories. For the present it may be best to move ahead.

I agree, why I also stated the topic. Letter for me was more of closure so I know at least I gave her an apology, one worth something to me. If things do not work out, they do not work out, nothing more.