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yorgo · Sep 12, 2007, 07:25 AM

Ok, making a long story short. 3 kids with Ex-wife. She moved out of state (1000 miles away) before our divorce was final without my consent but a judge allowed her temporary relocation rights until the divorce was finalized. Each year I try to add our (out of state) kids to my insurance policy and each year it is turned down because it only provides coverage for in-state.

Last week one of my kids broke his arm while playing in a jungle gym. Now my Ex-wife is complaining about how much it costs and she is out of money and claims that I should at least pay for half the cost. My problem is after child support I have no extra cash to give even if I wanted to. I told her the problem is that she is out of state. I don't expect her to pack up and move back in-state because she has a very successful business going right now and makes about the same income I make.

What to do? Make every effort to come up with half the cost and send it to her or tell her she is out of luck because of her decision to move out of state leaving no insurance coverage options for the kids from me as well as making my visitations extremely difficult?

RichardBondMan · Sep 12, 2007, 06:55 PM

Doesn't the divorce decree require you to pay part / all of med expenses ? Look at the divorce settlement, then decide. Don't let the fact that you can't add the kids to your insurance stop you/her from buying ins for the children, buy it in the state they live in.

NEone55 · Sep 15, 2007, 07:49 PM

What state is your ex-wife in? Do they offer state medical assistance? Or, if she got a policy through her own business, could you split the difference it costs her to add dependents? It just seems crazy to have no coverage at all. Something much worse than a broken arm could happen, and if the two of you can't even afford half of that bill, what will you do down the road with something more costly?

Also, it's not "her fault" for moving out-of-state. She probably had a very logical reason for doing so--pros that out-weighed the possibility of your current insurance policy declining your request. And, how many YEARS has it been since they haven't had insurance? Who is paying for their check-ups & medicine & flu-shots? I would be more worried about the health of the children than a split bill.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 15, 2007, 07:54 PM

Won't help with broken arm, but file a complaint on your insurance company with the state divistion of insurance, send the insurance a copy of the divorce decree which orders you to supply insurance.

I do not believe they are allowed to deny you.

For this, what does the divorce decree says, if you are liable for medical bills, you need to pay 1/2 of it, if not, you are not.

yorgo · Sep 19, 2007, 04:57 AM

Originally Posted by NEone55

What state is your ex-wife in? Do they offer state medical assistance? Or, if she got a policy through her own business, could you split the difference it costs her to add dependents? It just seems crazy to have no coverage at all. Something much worse than a broken arm could happen, and if the two of you can't even afford half of that bill, what will you do down the road with something more costly?

Also, it's not "her fault" for moving out-of-state. She probably had a very logical reason for doing so--pros that out-weighed the possibility of your current insurance policy declining your request. And, how many YEARS has it been since they haven't had insurance? Who is paying for their check-ups & medicine & flu-shots? I would be more worried about the health of the children than a split bill.

She is in North Carolina with the kids. I'm sorry but I didn't make it clear. My Ex does have an insurance plan but has a very high deductible - $5000.00. The reason I've been trying to add the kids to my plan is to save her some money by only having to insure herself. The divorce decree did not specify who is required to provide insurance for the children but I'm not concerned with who should and should not. They are my kids no matter what and I want to do what is right. My question is about paying half the bill (deductible) for this incident. As with most everyone, I don't have any extra money laying around for emergencies but I'm willing to help as much as I can.

ScottGem · Sep 19, 2007, 05:32 AM

Since none of this is court ordered you do what you think you can afford.

ScottGem · Sep 19, 2007, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by NEone55

Also, it's not "her fault" for moving out-of-state. She probably had a very logical reason for doing so

I have to comment on this. Whether there was a good reason or not, to take the kids and move 1000 miles away without asking the father, is cold! He has rights too.

rpg219 · Sep 19, 2007, 05:41 AM

Who cares what the divorce decree says... these are your offspring! Don't you want to do everything you can to make sure they are growing up healthy? Do what you can to talk to your ex... the two of you should be able to come up with some kind of payment plan to get the medical bill caught up and paid off. I say yes, it's your responsibility to care of half. You and your ex could consider a different plan for her and the kids and you pay half of the kids' portion.

RubyPitbull · Sep 19, 2007, 07:33 AM

This really has nothing to do with whether he is interested in the health of his children. Of course he is! This has to do with paying his ex the additional expense so she doesn't have to shoulder the entire cost alone. I agree that a payment plan needs to be put in place.

I think it is terrible that your ex moved out of state which limits your interaction with them but what I think or anyone else thinks doesn't matter. You do have an obligation to help out if you were fully aware of the medical coverage situation. Ask your ex for a copy of the paperwork that shows what isn't covered so you can verify the amount. For now, if I were you, I would pay what I could afford every month, on an agreed upon schedule. Make sure you give her a check separate from the normal support you pay and make a note on the memo line referring to medical not covered by insurance. This doesn't just help you at tax time, it also helps if there are any problems in the future regarding child support. I would also immediately start checking into what Father Chuck has stated. I have never heard of an insurance company that can deny coverage to the children of a member just because they don't live in-state. If there isn't anything you can do about it, then it is time for you and your ex to do some research and come up with a better plan to cover your children so that neither of you is caught short like this again.

yorgo · Sep 21, 2007, 04:02 AM

Thanks for all the advice guys. I feel helpless sometimes when it comes to my kids. I'm not able to do much from so far away but I definitely want to help with their medical expenses. I will take your advice and send separate checks with notes on the memo referring what the payments are for. I'm also looking into other insurance plans for my ex that she may be able to afford. Next month is open enrollment for health insurance and you know taking this information to the table.

Thanks

rpg219 · Sep 21, 2007, 04:59 AM

Good job yorgo!! My dad was a good distance away when I was young... I will guarantee the kids will give you more respect for your hard work in the end :)