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gzapata · Sep 10, 2007, 03:49 PM

Well I was dating this guy for about a month before he became my boyfriend. Everything was going pretty smooth until he started to put me to the side for his friends. He was never really romantic towards me I even questioned myself if he was really into me or not. He would claim that he was. Anyway I broke up with him last Monday on Labor Day because I felt like he was putting his friends before me and that we were not in the same level feelings wise. I feel that my feelings towards him were stronger. He understood and let me go because he's not ready for a relationship. After that he's been txting me like good morning and good night. He even txtd me letting me know that he has his old phone number again but he does not call me. I mean does he want me back? I want him back but why won't he call me?

Skell · Sep 10, 2007, 04:40 PM

Sounds like you wanted more than he could give. That's not his problem nor yours. It just didn't work. I don't see how if you got back together now it would be different. At the moment he enjoys spending time with his mates. Good for him. That's what us guys do. There is nothing wrong with that, however if you can't accept it then that is fine, that's your prerogative, but don't expect him to change for you too much. Its only early on and perhaps he just wanted to move slow.

It is important to keep balance in ones life. You didn't actually expect him to drop everything and commit all his time to you did you? But alternatively you are entitled to expect some of his attention and if that wasn't forthcoming then you were right to get out.

Perhaps he is texting you because he likes the attention you give him. I don't know. Ask him. But don't expect thing to be any different then before. Its early. Don't expect too much of someone. But also don't sell yourself short.

Good luck!

gzapata · Sep 10, 2007, 09:40 PM

Hi thanks for the advice. It really made sense. After I read your answer I called him and asked him if we should be friends and he agreed. He said that he has been wondering why I haven't been calling him. So yeah we both agreed to be friends. This time I'm going to take it step by step and live my own life, and not evolve my life around him. The problem is that I still have some feelings for him. Do u think the friendship thing is such a good idea?

Skell · Sep 11, 2007, 04:00 PM

Its very hard to have a friendship with someone that you were intimately with. Perhaps because you weren't together too long it will be OK, but the fact that you still have feelings for him will make it hard.

So what was the verdict? Just go back to being friends and see where it takes you? Maybe if you take it slow and no be too overbearing something might spark up again. Maybe not.

What happens though if he meets another girl? How will that make you feel? Will you be able to maintain a friendship with him while he is seeing her and vice versa. Probably not.

Just go slow with him and see what happens. I dare say there may still be some feelings there from him but he wants his space.

But don't sit around waiting for him to get his into gear either. Get out and meet new people as well. Who knows you may meet an even better guy who is willing to commit a little more to you. Don't put all your eggs in one basket with this guy.

Jiser · Sep 11, 2007, 05:05 PM

It wasn't meant to be, put this one down to experience and go no contact with this gentlemen. Start some new hobbies and see friends more + why not reinvent yourself for the better? Don't forget to stay busy.

smithn32 · Sep 11, 2007, 05:14 PM

Flat out ask him why he will not call you. Sounds like he is playing head games with you. If he is putting his friends before you all the time, then maybe he wasn't the right person for you. It's time to move on. Good Luck!

talaniman · Sep 11, 2007, 07:01 PM

I think you expected too much to soon, and being friends will allow you both to get to know each other, and see where it leads. How old are you both anyway??

nicespringgirl · Sep 11, 2007, 07:28 PM

It takes men longer to fall in love than women.
YOU see him as your boyfriend, having a relationship with you, what makes you think that?
Many girls I know fall in love very quickly, they are more into the idea of "being in love".
Reality is cruel and anyone who is outside of their so called "relationship" sees the fact.
How about stepping back and thinking about what level you guys are at... and don't expect too much from a guy, not that he can't give, you don't want to be the one too clingy and wants more than he can give at this stage.
To many women: love means to be loved. You need to keep in mind that it's about taking and giving.

gzapata · Sep 12, 2007, 12:50 PM

Well that day when I called him we both agreed just to be friends and decided to go out as just friends. I guess I'm hoping that something would spark up again. I don't know about him though. But that day that we talked he said that he was on his way to California with his brother that he was going to come back Friday and he said that he would call me from over there. Well the next day he txtd me lettting me know that he's over there and made it OK and that he would talk to me later. I know its going to be hard to see him as a friend but I'm going to try it. I mean do you think that he might be hoping for something to happen in the future?

Originally Posted by Skell

Its very hard to have a friendship with someone that you were intimately with. Perhaps because you werent together too long it will be ok, but the fact that you still have feelings for him will make it hard.

So what was the verdict? Just go back to being friends and see where it takes you? Maybe if you take it slow and no be too overbearing something might spark up again. Maybe not.

What happens though if he meets another girl? How will that make you feel? Will you be able to maintain a friendship with him while he is seeing her and vice versa. Probably not.

Just go slow with him and see what happens. I dare say there may still be some feelings there from him but he wants his space.

But dont sit around waiting for him to get his into gear either. Get out and meet new people as well. Who knows you may meet an even better guy who is willing to commit a little more to you. Dont put all your eggs in one basket with this guy.

talaniman · Sep 12, 2007, 02:19 PM

You are the one hoping for more, not him at this point. He may be nice but its you who will look foolish, because you are the one hoping for more. Let him make all the moves, and you just have to judge for yourself. Pay attention!!

gzapata · Sep 12, 2007, 03:20 PM

Yeah you're right I'll just go with the flow. Thanks for the advice

Originally Posted by talaniman

You are the one hoping for more, not him at this point. He may be nice but its you who will look foolish, because you are the one hoping for more. Let him make all the moves, and you just have to judge for yourself. Pay attention!!!