[Greg Quinn]

My little girl is obsessed with nudity. Obsessed, I try to change and keep her with me and she peeks at every chance. She tells people her daddy has a big"well you know." I will ask her to take off her clothes for bath time and she will counter it with " take off your clothes Daddy"I have talked with her a lot but it won't stop, she even try's to tear my towel off after a shower( last time I got upset with her) and finds it to be the funniest thing ever. I have talked a lot with her and explained to her that it's inappropriate to always want to see me naked but Kayla is only two and a half years old. She is quite the little spy as well. When I have to shower she stays in the bathroom with me sometimes, I could even give her a barbie dream-house in there but it wouldn't stop her from ripping the shower curtain open in some odd terrifying Norman Bates psycho scene. I know it's normal to be curious but I want a way to stop it. I am a mans man and do not want her being so fascinated with my parts anymore, I'm starting to feel like a slab of meat. Lol, it is important to remember that changing your clothes, and showering is something you have to sometimes do with a 2 and a half year old child present to avoid electrical outlet problems and hospital trips. I have been independent up until this one. I think I am the only one she does this with and would love some advice. What an odd problem to have.

[J_9]

She is 2 1/2? This is normal. NORMAL for a child of this age. It is Freud's anal stage of development where they learn their own bodies and that bodies of males and females are different.

I will say that you can change without her in the room. How long does it take to change to cover your body parts? A minute maybe? As for showering, we would always do this after the children were in bed, or before they got up.

There are ways around this, you just have to get creative.

At 2 1/2 she cannot fully understand and comprehend why this is not a good thing. Children are concrete thinkers until they reach early adolescence, where they become abstract thinkers and can begin to fully comprehend actions and consequences.

[Greg Quinn]

I know patience patience... It just seems to get worse with time.

[J_9]

It may get worse, probably not thought, if you don't put a stop to it now. If you must change in front of her, do it with your back turned. When you shower, wait until she is asleep or before she wakes up.

You see, in parenting we have to change our routines, not change our child's routines, under certain circumstances, and this is one of them.

[ScottGem]

What J_9 said, but umm, do you only have one bathroom? Doesn't it have a lock on it? Where is her mother while you are showering. Don't you have a lock on the bedroom door?

[Greg Quinn]

Thanks J9. The shower one is always kind of a little harder for me because she is a ultra light sleeper, and I have her in a bed not a crib of course. And showering when I get in the door is pretty much a need. But I will wear boxers in the shower or something if that would be considered normal? At this point I'm a little unsure.

[Greg Quinn]

What J_9 said, but umm, do you only have one bathroom? Doesn't it have a lock on it? Where is her mother while you are showering. Don't you have a lock on the bedroom door?

Can't lock a 2 yr old out any of the b rooms that would be irresponsible. Her mom and I separated a long time ago, like J9 said there are ways to do it when you have children but it takes work. A lot of people really do not realize how often they change in front of their kids. When Kayla was younger it was never a problem and it was very convenient to be able to live a fast paced life with being able to change in her presence. I inquired as to if there is a way to help her get off her interest in nudity. All suggestions brought fourth have been used to some extent besides locking her out of bathrooms. It was a question that I hoped someone maybe had some problem solving experience besides the obvious "penis sight prevention methods" that I'm sick of doing already. I am willing to stay the course and be patient. Thanks Scott

[firmbeliever]

Hi Greg,
I agree with J9,
A change of routine helps a lot.

I have a 2 1/2 year old girl too,a niece 1 yr plus and a nephew 1 yr plus.
Whenever my nephew is changing the 2 girls will be very curious to watch and sometimes even ask "what is that".The nephew also has this habit of touching "himself" whenever his clothes are off,sometimes even when he is wearing them.

I think that is natural at this stage,but try not to overstress the point as this would make her more adamant to continue doing whatever you are trying to force her not to do.
I have found that my daughter likes to do things when I order her not to,but will listen if I say it in a nicer round about way.
Maybe you could try distracting her as J9 advised routine change,
When you need to have a bath, get her busy with something somewhere else,so you can be sure she is not around anywhere near the bathroom.

[GoldieMae]

This is a little odd, but my husband wears a swimsuit if he has to bathe near our daughter and I'm not home. She's just a little younger than yours. It's normal that they are interested.

Maybe you could put up a gate at her bedroom door that she can't open or climb? Or install a doorknob cover that is kid-proof? Just baby proof her room if you haven't already, let her play with her toys in there with the door closed, and just let her fuss up a storm while you take a shower in peace.

Here's an example of that doorknob thing. Install it on the inside of her room so she can't open her bedroom door if you don't want to install a gate, but you can open the door from the outside no problem. I know it sounds harsh to "lock" your kid in her room, but lock her in her room where she's safe.

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You have to keep her out of the bathroom while you shower. Little girls are very adept at manipulating Daddies...

[Greg Quinn]

.. Yeah it's all baby proofed to the maximum. I just worry about the little things that are unforeseeable or I'm paranoid to leave her alone to put it better. Her nursery is a safe place where all things have been either mounted to a stud or electrical outlets are really well covered with the turn-style plugs... Still, I understand that it is something that I have to continue doing for a while. I'm going to shower with my boxers on. I just hope this phase will pass soon, she does make me laugh though because for a while I would have her just look away and she followed that really well, little did I know she was using the wall mount mirror in my room to see me with the corner of her eye. LOL. I keep her outside the bedroom door or just pretend I'm not changing and kind of crouch behind the bed sometimes. Thanks for the help everyone.

[ScottGem]

OK, yeah it would be more difficult for a single parent.

[DougRN]

My little girl is obsessed with nudity. Obsessed, I try to change and keep her with me and she peeks at every chance. She tells people her daddy has a big"well you know." I will ask her to take off her clothes for bath time and she will counter it with " take off your clothes Daddy"I have talked with her a lot but it won't stop, she even try's to tear my towel off after a shower( last time I got upset with her) and finds it to be the funniest thing ever. I have talked a lot with her and explained to her that it's inappropriate to always want to see me naked but Kayla is only two and a half years old. She is quite the little spy as well. When I have to shower she stays in the bathroom with me sometimes, I could even give her a barbie dream-house in there but it wouldn't stop her from ripping the shower curtain open in some odd terrifying Norman Bates psycho scene. I know it's normal to be curious but I want a way to stop it. I am a mans man and do not want her being so fascinated with my parts anymore, I'm starting to feel like a slab of meat. lol, it is important to remember that changing your clothes, and showering is something you have to sometimes do with a 2 and a half year old child present to avoid electrical outlet problems and hospital trips. I have been independant up until this one. I think I am the only one she does this with and would love some advice. What an odd problem to have.

The issue here is, that your nudity is being made into something taboo and hidden. Which is making her want to see it more. Which is why our country spends so much money on porn. Other countries that don't put so much taboo on nudity and their bodies don't have these issues. People who have grown up as NUDISTS, don't have this issue. One possible way to break this, is to desensitize her to nudity. Nudity is not directly related to sexuality. Her reaction is not a sexual reaction. She is most likely trying to illicit your reaction, where you attempt to hide your body, or act startled when she opens the curtain.

Have a nude day, your wife, yourself and your child can hang out around the house naked. Do normal routine things, that distract from the fact that you are nude. Make no comments to the fact that you are nude.

[Greg Quinn]

LOL... Yeah! And we can go to the park. :-)

I used to feel very comfortable with nudity with my daughter but she is a little more fascinated with nudity than you understand. It could create possible issues I would like to avoid with her real mom and I, "who are separated and she is an evil lurking witch from the lying cheating manipulating depths of hell who would love to have some ability to accuse me of something." I'm sure it sounds paranoid but I assure you it is not. I would like to just keep my privates private just to avoid any misunderstandings. Thanks for your advice and I'm sure for a lot of people it would be great... But I think I'll stick to what I'm doing for now as it is working fine.

[CaptainRich]

Thanks J9. The shower one is always kinda a little harder for me because she is a ultra light sleeper, and I have her in a bed not a crib of course. And showering when I get in the door is pretty much a need. But I will wear boxers in the shower or something if that would be considered normal? At this point I'm a little unsure.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and take flak accordingly, but it's beginning to sound like your making excuses for not being able to control your two and a half year old. Children can and will manipulate if they are allowed to.
Have you considered using a sitter or a daycare provider to monitor your daughter while you take care of showering or changing? Invite/pay a friend or neighbor for the few minutes necessary?

[Greg Quinn]

Lol... I find that to be very insulting. At the end of your post you offer some inconvenient advice that would not be what so ever practical. At the beginning of your post you went out on a unnecessary limb and accused me of making excuses for not controlling my daughter. Please try to learn the difference between excuses and reasons. Do you have a two year old? YES! They can manipulate and play little games and pretend not to understand something they understand. I have sat and talked with my daughter constantly about day to day life issues and problems appropriately to the matching scenarios that we come across everyday. Even with redirection, sometimes it just doesn't take. My daughter is advanced in many ways and is a little stubborn and in some ways uncontrollable. I know no one who has full control of a girl or boy of this age, nor would they want it. She is a individual who has a wonderful everything but a few stigmatic problems that I have come here to seek advice and have received some two weeks ago. Wearing a pair of boxers in the shower approx three times a week is the solution I decided to go with and in no way am I sooo bored that I need to make excuses for what is Kayla's pretty normal and common behaviour. I use ask me help desk for my own question's quite rarely and this was a problem I felt others may have, and they did and they have their solutions. I do not lock my daughter in or out of rooms, I do not leave my two and a half year old alone in my house. If you disagree with these decisions say so, but don't go picking through old quotes of "Originally Posted by Greg Quinn
Thanks J9. The shower one is always kinda a little harder for me because she is a ultra light sleeper, and I have her in a bed not a crib of course. And showering when I get in the door is pretty much a need. But I will wear boxers in the shower or something if that would be considered normal? At this point I'm a little unsure." and call it an excuse because I do not have the time to explain every detail as to why it would wake her if she were napping " She doesn't nap at 5pm anyways". Well, there is the flak you were expecting. :-)

[J_9]

Glad to hear you found a solution Greg. As I said before, this is normal curiosity for her age, we just have to find unique ways to handle these situations and it looks like you did just that. ;)

[CaptainRich]

Greg,
You stated earlier that locking the door would be irresponsible and that she is a light sleeper, "besides the obvious "penis sight prevention methods" that I'm sick of doing already"... again, this sounds like more excuses for not dealing with disciplining this behavior. At two and a half years old, has it been going on so long that you're sick of it! Wait till she's four, or fourteen! You think there's inconvenience now..!
And you make light of one response:

LOL... Yeah! And we can go to the park. :-)

Which really makes me wonder how responsible you'll be. Then you laugh at her finding she can peek at you in the mirror?? Do you even pull the shower curtain?
What activities do you attempt to engage her in as soon as you get home at five when showering is a "must do"? This is where I recommended a sitter, or perhaps you could pick her up from daycare after you've showered, etc.

[Greg Quinn]

PREDICTABLE AND CHILDISH... I see you have been a member of ask me help desk since April of this year and I soon followed in May. Your total Posts: 1,374 (1661 in the last 90 days! ) that makes you a {ultra member?} and I have 193 that keeps me at junior member. Maybe you should slow down and not hit every post that comes to interest. You question my ability to be responsible but it seems to me you are an unemployed mechanic with way too much time on your hands. I think you are picking at straws here, what do you mean pull at the shower curtain? Honestly, I really think you should do your psycho eval on some other blog as you have been incredibly unhelpful and irritating with your silly accusations and suggestions. You seem to want me to discipline my daughter for something she is curious about, if you read every post you would have seen that I have made attempts to discipline my daughter with redirection. Also, I found her being sneaky and expressed how it was funny on this site. My girlfriend is a school teacher and can not help as she is young and new at her job and leads a busy life. Daycare is open till 5:00 but they wait for me for 10 minutes everyday. Hiring someone to watch my daughter for three minutes is unrealistic and the ongoing suggestion of it is now making me really question your age or intelligence. When I shower with my boxers on Kayla is playing with a few toys or watching a DVD on the wall. I think you need to remember that this was solved two weeks ago without silly mindless dribble. I have looked into your history of posts and have found you to be an instigator that does nothing more than create more issues for the people who seek help on this site. I could go on and on about why I like to eat dinner with my daughter every night and I have a busy evening schedule every night and need to shower when I get home and continue to defend myself against these oddly unnecessary trust issues that you have. But you have to post your problems on your own page and I hope that someone will help you out. Good luck Captain-Rich and I hope this helps you.
Quote :CaptainRich--""If you are new to this site, PLEASE, take the time to read SITE RULES"

WE ARE NEW TO THIS SITE.

[Greg Quinn]

I e-mailed this to my GF, and she thinks you just want my boxers off. Is this true? Why are you holding on? Please just let me shower in peace. I am now done with this blog because it would be very immature of me to continue on with this. Is that a reason or an excuse?

[Leidenschaftlich für Wahr]

Well, maybe I can be of some help here... I can actually remember my stage like that.
As a kid I was FASCInATED by nudity. At my private school in kindergarten I was forced to wear shorts instead of the usual skirts because I would flash everyone. I remember spencer who sat next to me in class, Id barter with him to see his you know what, lol. Either by food or responded nudity.
I always wanted to showerwith my mom, Id peek at my brother and sister through the bathroom keyhole, I mean, I feel weird thinking about it now, but I was really bad about it.
My parents basically broke me of it by embarrassing me of it. The principle of the school pulled me aside and talked to me about it, my mom, and my grandmother also talked to me about it. If course by this time I was 6 and knew it was wrong...
Do you ever punish her?