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shatteredsoul · Sep 10, 2007, 10:59 AM

SARAII!! I feel like such a a$$. I had NO friggin clue about this situation. I am feeling so horrible about not being here for you. YOu are always full of energy, spunk and laughter, and now when you need help, I am missing in action. I am sooo sorry. I guess so much for having super powers. (LOL) FORGIVE ME!!
OK, I think you are an incredibly strong and intelligent person. The only thing you HAVE to do, is be true to yourself. The other things will come together. YOu have a lot of decisions to make and it will be tough, but you can and will get through it. I think you have been trying for a long time and everyone has their breaking point. You can only take as much as your soul and heart can manage. YOu have to teach him how to treat you, regardless of whether you stay together. This is because you will always have to deal with him (when it comes to Shayla). He is an insecure and immature person. He is threatened by you and doesn't know how to handle your relationship like an adult. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you, and I know you do love him. However, sometimes you can't always make it work with the one you love. Please know, you are beautiful and lots of fun and anyone would be lucky to have a girl like you. Right now you are thinking about the right things. Focusing on your goals and your future. IT is a great idea to go back to school and pursue your career. This is the best thing you can do for yourself. You cannot change him, only the way you respond to him. I believe in you and I know will come out of this shining like a star. Whether you decide to take him back, continue to focus on your gifts, career and becoming the best person you can be. You will make Shayla proud because you do not compromise. You will show her how you should be treated as a woman and how to be respected. This is something she will always admire in you. YOu have guts and you have integrity. That is worth so much in this life.
I want you to know that I am sorry that you have been struggling and feeling so much pain, I wish I would have realized it sooner. You always seem so happy and I didn't ever pry deep enough to understand what you were really going through. Hopefully you realize the love and support I have for you and I will continue to check and see how things are going.
You are a good person SARAII and one I am glad to know. You are smart to share this with everyone here because it will help you get through this difficult ordeal.
Remember you are a good mom and your heart is full of love for her. All the issues you have to figure out, just deal with it one at a time. That is all you can do.

saraispiel19 · Sep 10, 2007, 12:51 PM

Oh silly! I'm not mαd-- honestly I didn't even reαlize since I've been so wrαpped up in pure crαp!. oh well-- but thαnks for the super long letter mαde me lαugh-- don't αsk I just lαughed not like αt you but this whole situαtion... you guys think I'm going crαzy..

Someone told me thαt you cαn go crαzy in α seperαtion/divorce?-- is thαt true.. omgsh whαt if I αm going crαzy.. hαhα.. wαit αlreαdy αm.

startover22 · Sep 10, 2007, 12:53 PM

Ok, we all agree you are crazy sweet... Big hugs sweetheart... BIG HUGE GIANT ONES!!

saraispiel19 · Sep 10, 2007, 01:00 PM

mαybe you cαn umm reαch αnd unbluckle my jαcket...

startover22 · Sep 10, 2007, 01:01 PM

NEVER... I like you just the way you are... so can you please run over to the love post and tell me a few things... pretty please...

saraispiel19 · Sep 10, 2007, 01:15 PM

Love post? Huh? Lost here

startover22 · Sep 10, 2007, 01:16 PM

Love is all around you... ding dong...
EDIT:::: #2 in member diss...

saraispiel19 · Sep 10, 2007, 01:19 PM

Ooo OK :-D

kp2171 · Sep 10, 2007, 03:43 PM

Someone's off their meds.

saraispiel19 · Sep 13, 2007, 02:54 PM

Well well it's been I don't know how mαny dαys [ I honestly don't keep count--good thing right?] αnd I'm still going up αnd down up αnd down..

But bottom line I'm okαy.. Not greαt not fine not αlright but okαy.. I don't know whαt to reαlly sαy.. I'm heαrtbroken.. I miss my husbαnd but well love hurts right?.

Meh.. well I'm here with shαylα enjoying her.. wαtching her do silly little things reαlly mαkes my dαy..

School is so-so.. getting hαrder by the dαy.. I honestly would like to quit:( but I'm not [i'm not thαt dumb! Hehe]

startover22 · Sep 13, 2007, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by saraispiel19

well well it's been i don't know how mαny dαys [ i honestly don't keep count--good thing right?] αnd i'm still going up αnd down up αnd down..

but bottom line i'm okαy.. not greαt not fine not αlright but okαy.. i don't know whαt to reαlly sαy.. i'm heαrtbroken.. i miss my husbαnd but well love hurts right?...

meh.. well i'm here with shαylα enjoying her..wαtching her do silly little things reαlly mαkes my dαy..

school is so-so.. getting hαrder by the dαy.. i honestly would like to quit:( but i'm not [i'm not thαt dumb !! hehe]

You are doing great... thanks for the update...
You are going to miss him, he has a hold on you honey... time, time will help you... I am so glad you aren't counting the days... enjoy your girl and get to your studies! Hugs. Start

saraispiel19 · Sep 13, 2007, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by startover22

...I am so glad you aren't counting the days...

I could get the cαlender out :p

startover22 · Sep 13, 2007, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by saraispiel19

i could get the cαlender out :p

Naw... you are doing good... I am very impressed... show yourself what you are capable of sweet... You may just come to feel GREAT! :D

saraispiel19 · Sep 13, 2007, 03:16 PM

gαwd I love yα

startover22 · Sep 13, 2007, 03:20 PM

I couldn't help but to tell you that... AND you look HOT! Good girl... I am going to use you to get in shape... wellllll, you know what I mean... if you can,. I can... I will...

saraispiel19 · Sep 13, 2007, 03:23 PM

You wαnnα use me-- you wαnnα αbuse me... becαuse you like me.. you think I'm hott.. you wαnt to love me.. oooo ooo oooo

startover22 · Sep 13, 2007, 03:27 PM

OMGosh... noooo... you just made me blush though!! I am in need of a tight belly and some hot buns... so like I said... if you can... I can too. I am going to.. when we move here in a couple weeks I will be walking and jogging, I am hoping to run the Bute to Bute... I think I can... I think I can...

saraispiel19 · Sep 13, 2007, 03:37 PM

Yes you cαn!! I BELIEVE IN YOU
see thαt used to be me!

shygrneyzs · Sep 13, 2007, 04:14 PM

You have done great and awesome things for yourself, Sarai! And you will continue to keep doing those things. Yes, school is tough, but the payoff will be worth it all. I have all the faith in you and your goals. Hugsssssssssss to you and Shayla!

saraispiel19 · Sep 13, 2007, 04:23 PM

Lol I hope you guys know thαt thαt wαsn't reαlly me! hαhα I got it off goggle.. hαhα