[star3114]

My husband and I separated briefly for a few months at the beginning of the year. When we first separated, I was sure that we were going to get divorced. Once the anger about the split started residing, he started thinking. He actually realized and understood that what I wanted... was not asking too much.. in fact, he understood that what I was asking is the way a husband should be. I was so scared to take him back. My whole family and the majority of my friends told me I was an idiot. Something inside of me kept telling me I had to get it another shot. I made a deal with myself and I made him aware of the deal. I told him that I'd give it 6 months. He had 6 months to prove to me that he had and would change or I was out the door. I am prepared that if he doesn't fulfill his end of the bargain... then I will fulfill mine. But then, at least, I will know that I gave it everything I've got to keep my marriage together. The ball is in his court now. What he does with it is up to him.
My family is starting to come around. All but one of my friends won't talk to me still... but at least I know that I am doing the right thing for me and my family. At the end of the day, you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror. Do what you need to do to be able to hold your head high. It is your life. You only get one (unless you believe in re-incarnation... to those who do, my apologies for this phrase). Do what you think is best for you. Divorce or not... it is up to you. But take the rose colored glasses off and look at the situation from ALL angles before you decide to take him back.
Think of where you see yourself in 6 months, 1 year and more if you do take him back. Do you like what you see in that image?

[talaniman]

Sorry to hear of the rough time your having Sara. To start babies are such a life changing event in our lives, and they do require a lot of adjustments. More patients, and more talking, and listening on both parts. As the emotional dust settles, I think it's a lot easier to communicate on a more loving level, and resolve many of the issues that are driving a wedge between you two. I hope you take the opportunity to talk and listen, as I have read your list and it sounds good to me, and very doable. Give him a chance to get his head wrapped around the changes, and adjust his thinking and behavior, so you both can get what you want, and be happy. I wish you luck as I know how hard it is to maintain a relationship, with the changes life throws at us.

[saraispiel19]

Well guys I'm two dαys eαrly but I'm off to pick up my hubby.. it's kindα rαiny out here but it'll do wish me luck xxoo

I'll keep you guys posted

p.s. thαnks for everything

[talaniman]

Go get your MAN.

[kp2171]

he has work to do, and you know it.

just don't settle for the comfort of familiar. I can't tell you what's wrong or not. Most of us get kicked in the teeth a few times before we figure out what to do.

maybe that means you back away. Maybe not.

maybe he's the one getting kicked, and maybe he will step up.

soooo... I hope you get the happiness you deserve. I hope he's up to the task. Doing the hard work that it takes to make a marriage work is worth doing... until it isn't... sometimes it never gets to that point.

so I'm playing the "big brother" role here. I don't like he's hurt you, and only his actions over a long period will make things right again. Two weeks ago id have put him to the wall. But if you think its worth a try, then you know we will support you.

eventually we all hopefully "get it right"... here's hoping that you and he can do it together. Remember, its easy when its easy. Its when the crap hits the fan that you know where you stand and what he's willing to do.

you deserve a husband, a lover, a friend, a companion. Your child deserves a loving father. Hope he's pulled his head out of his arse. Hope you don't need to stick a boot up... well, you know...

=)

[Chery]

Honey, kp said it..

I wholeheartedly wish you all the luck in the world. You deserve it!

Lots and Lots of HUGS!

You're the BOSS!

[kp2171]

Before anyone posts more comments, please note that sarai and her daughter shayla died in a car accident two days ago. Maybe this thread should be locked now.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/announ...ed-131003.html

[J_9]

Good idea KP. This thread is now closed. Sarai and Shayla, together for eternity. We all love and miss you.