[LUK3Y]

Today I have been a mess... but I'm trying 2 get on my own 2 feet as much as possible. My head is still in limbo over a few things and yes I am trying 2 stop thinking about it all.
I found out from someone just the other day that she has moved into her bf's house (he lives with family) and it's only been 3 or 4 months of them together. This has left me even more confused.

[crushedovernover]

Let her do her thing. NO CONTACT means no contact even if it is inderect. By you finding this stuff out you are just hurting yourself more..

[LUK3Y]

Im trying my best buddy. She is still trying to contact me a lot also. I know for a fact when she is not with her boyfriend she tries it. She is hiding me from him looks like she has not changed a bit with her games.

[hpallister]

The emotional turmoil you're going through is so tough but it's only natural when you've been through that heartache. It sounds as though you're both going through a lot of ups and downs and really it's only when you're both feeling more 'peaceful' (does that sound weird?) with yourselves that you'll be able to come back together (or move on separeately) in a positive way. It's so so tough, and everyone has regrets after a breakup, but don't beat yourself up, hindsight is a wonderful thing. If contact with her isn't helping you feel at ease, then don't initiate it. Take it a day at a time and let yourself heal.

[LUK3Y]

I understand hpallister thanks for the reply.
When I do talk to her it as though all is fine, like normal when we were together.
I'm not sure what this means maybe we are meant to be friends, time will tell.
In a sense I do want her back only to correct where I know I went wrong... such
As being 2 much of a wuss in the relationship which took away the "challenge" for
Her, as I strongly believe that contributed to the break up. But to get her to come
Back is a matter of how. Total NC? Casual chat? I'm confused. Errrr my heads a mess

[Jiser]

Total NC? YEEES, Why are you talking to her.

[LUK3Y]

Because I believe there was something still left in it for us.
At the moment I let her do the calling... and if she calls most of the time I don't answer right away, or usually I leave it and return it a day latar or so.
I'm trying to bring her interest back in, as me being a wuss is what
Made her lose the interest, well that is what I feel anway.

[ConfusedandLost]

The best advice I can give you is to move on work on yourself and above all else forget about her. Let your friends know that you do not want to discuss anything relating to her, this will help in the "she's doing this and that" talk. Find things that occupy your time... it will help you stop thinking about her. Look back before meeting her, what did you like to do? Start doing that again. What did you have a passion for? Start that again etc... Believe me I am going on 1.5 months now of a "break" from my fiancé... it is hard. Just remember this NO ONE and believe me on this, NO ONE has died from a broken heart. You have to look at yourself as being HER loss and not yours. You did absolutely nothing wrong, you are simply guilty of loving someone too much... that in itself is not so bad... just remember a relationship is about two completely different people joining together constantly learning about each other that compliment each other. Once you make that significant other "your world" you have lost everything about you that made her interested in you in the first place. You essentially become "that" person... who wants that? The other is give up on the false hope... no one wants to wait around for a "maybe" your better than that. Everyone of us is, that goes through this is better than that... all it takes is for you to realize that and do something about it. The women to men ratio out there is something like 2 to 1 and depending where you are it maybe even higher, so pick yourself up and get out there and start mingling. Time waits for no one!!

[Jiser]

Reality check: Nah sorry that's utter stupidity, your holding onto false hope. Get healthy first and then see if you care.

[Ash123]

If you had acted differently you would not have been yourself and that would have been even more of a turn-off. She likes ya man....But that is all she can do right now.
And be thankful!!

She just is young and doing what young girls do. She did you a favor.
If she was the last girlfriend of your life, ever, don't you think you would have some regrets??

Maybe you all will meet again. Just not now. Don't stress. There is nothing you could have done differently unless you have a time machine.

THIS IS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN... I know that is small comfort. But this break up is how life makes us better. Dude, I GUARANTEE you will date someone else you like just as much and you will look back and laugh. There is NOTHING that you could have done. Relationships at your age do not last forever because they're not supposed to... It's what makes us loyal and loving later...

Now, the important thing today is: The end is the only beginning.
It is a fact of all people starting over.
Until you see it, believe it, accept it's over you cannot move on. You play it over in your head. And here's a cool secret you may appreciate: as soon as you move on - really move on - you know - like wet dreams for another girl and lots of late night texting... your EX is going to suddenly wonder what you are up to. And that is why love and the universe are such crazy but sometimes predictable things...

3 solutions:

1) NC and time.
Continue on the path you are on now.
I know you are confused, but consider this... EVERYONE circles back once. EVERYONE. The thing is she CIRCLED BACK already. So you got your answer. You spoke and she did not say you two are destined to be back. You seem to be getting some power back with her. If you don't date, it's OK not to respond to her!

2) Ask her out.
Take a bold move and if you get shot down, you will get to start on the road to recovery once and for all.

3) Begin random communication with her to make yourself feel better.
This is the most dangerous and least likely to work - for you or her.
But it's your call.

[talaniman]

As Jiser has said NO CONTACT, is the way to go so you can get over that false hope. Gee wiz guy she has moved on with someone else!! What more do you need to know. Get healthy and you will see your own mistakes and correct them and you won't be confused by her contacting you, behind his back. What a game player she is.

[LUK3Y]

You guys are right, I keep trying to see the good in her by looking for hope or clinging on to false hope. Maybe I'm just used 2 taking her back all the time that's why its hitting me so hard right now. I just can't believe that she could turn around so fast like that and switch off without even trying for US because she sees greener grass over the fence. Isn't that dangerous? Especially moving in so quickly to his house? It's like she's using him as a rebound to replace me.

[mckenzie134]

Yes mate she is using him as a rebound. Moving in so quickly this girl is very immature and does not know what she wants. Not someone you want to spend your life with... Noit at all... Too many dramas Not marriage materisal... You will thank her one day for letting you go. Any girl who moves straight in with another NON GOOD I know this I had a girl do it four years ago and she still reminds me worst decision iof her life. You cannot no someone that quick and anyone like that will be a headcase for a long time to come and will be very difficult to handle in the future...

[Cher13]

I know a million girls including myself that would kill to meet a guy that made them and there relationship one of the top prioritys in there life, I doubt very much that this is why things didn't work out between you two... I would cut contact though.

[friend4u178]

Hi LUK3Y
It seems to me you are still holding on to False hope here , she clearly does not deserve you and is out there fooling around with another guy. You are still very young and will probably have many more girls before you finally find THE ONE. That's all part of growing into adulthood and we have all been there. NC as everyone keeps telling you please! Let me just pose this question though , IF she came back tomorrow WOULD YOU TRUST HER??

[LUK3Y]

That's one thing I have thought hard about friend4u178.
It may be hard for me now, but it would be even harder if I were to take her back. My mind would be working ten times more than what it is now. I just have to be cautious though as in the future I sense that she will come running back, that's were I will have to be the STRONGEST.

[talaniman]

If things don't work out with this new guy, she will come running back. I also think this new guy has been in the picture longer than you think, she just never said anything to you about him. The good news is, as you get healthy you will get stronger, and smarter.

[LUK3Y]

Ur absoloutley right Talaniman. As for him being in the picture I had an idea she was talking 2 sumone else about a week or 2 max before our official "break-up", I could tell something was up also as she was going cold on me out of nowhere, it's funny as a week before it all or 2 we were like normal.

[talaniman]

Acceptance will set you free. Let go of the false hope, the confusion and the questions, as they are irrelevant, and prevent you from moving ahead, and healing ,and finding happiness without her in your life. The sooner you get a life the better. Why suffer for the selfish actions of another?