[OverdriveBoney]

Ive never used this site before, so if anything I say is inappropriate or anything like that, sorry. Im not really good at asking for advice, I used to be the person who everyone from my school (im 18 now) used to come to for advice, especially about relationships. It's a bit different to give yourself advice though. Im going to give a brief (I hope) description of the highlights in my life during the relationship, that have affected it

Basically to cut a long story short, I been with her for 2 years (not that long I know) she was tagged with the name 'slut' because of when she lost her virginity etc. She had next to none self confidence, and I went out with her in the hope I could change her 'name-tag' and boost her confidence, even though she is FAR more experienced in relationships then me.
None of her relationships had lasted more then 3 months, and in nearly every one she had done some form of sexual activity with the boyfriend (she started at about 13/14).
Our relationship started rocky, a group of friends tried to wind me up by saying she had told them that we have had sex, not wanting to make her out to be a lier, I went along with it to my HUGE embarrassment, later on that day she called me every name under the sun for saying we had sex. After we had been going out for 3 months, we split up for a day on the Thursday, she asked me to forgive her for the stupid argument, I said OK, and we continued the relationship, I never saw her that day, or Saturday, I talked to her over msn on Saturday as she was getting ready for a party that night with a girl called Nicole. The following day, she admitted to me she had cheated on me with 4 guys from that party...

Stupidly I forgave her after 10 hours of constant begging for forgiveness. The following day at school, I got a lot of grief over it, don't get me wrong, I was one of the most popular in the school, so it was light-hearted jokes and wind-ups. I took all this for about a month before people tired of it.

Oh and to add, we hadn't even 'got off with each other until the following month, and she had gone and did more then that with 4 random guys from the party. The month after, we had sex for the first time, 6 months we had been going out, longer then any time she had waited with anyone, she made up some excuse about she was scared to have sex with me because of my penis size (dont worry I'm not boosting my ego, later on in the relationship she constantly hints to how small it actually is in her eyes). I believed her, what guy wouldn't want to believe their penis scared a girl?

We were okay, argued once or twice a week, arguments never escalated into anything. But all the time she would hint (never directly say, and she would deny she meant it the way I took it after, each time) and I mean all the time, about 2 - 4 times a day shed make a comment about my penis or body, unfortunately, those comments were never positive. She once insulted me directly 'With a like yours, you'll never be able to please any woman', sadly she is quite true about that, I never once managed to give her an orgasm.

Then our school prom happened, during that prom we had sex in a tent, during sex someone called Liam decided to open the tent and stick his head in, I told him to 'piss off', he then smashed a bottle on a nearby tree and attacked me with the jagged bottle neck. I used to always do martial arts, and in the end he came off A lot worse then me, cuts to the face and chest, my hands were screwed up to put it blunt, I could see my bones, my flesh was hanging off my hands. He went in the house first, and because of that I lost nearly all of my friends as they all believed him. To add insult to injury my girlfriend deliberately lied and said I punched her in the face after the fight (strange lack of any bruising or even blood from my cut up hands on her face? But evidence doesn't matter to a bunch of drunken teenagers).

Since that fight, everything fell apart in my life, my house was constantly egged by Liam and friends, he pressed charges of GBH against me, which were dropped due to my defensive cuts on my hands, he threatened me with a knife, put a knife to my throat and filmed me saying random insults to myself. All this time my girlfriend didn't care one bit, in fact, the arguments grew worse, she would start an argument over literally nothing, and it would end in her either

A) Threatening to kill herself
B) TRYING to kill herself
C) Throwing things at me, such as house phones
D) Pushing me around, then screaming I was hitting her
E) Insult every part of me, then tell me how badly I insult her, when I never do except in retaliation

She told me she had a brain abscess, I literally cried every night about it as she told me there was a chance she could die, I love her so much and I couldn't handle that happening, in any argument she would tell me I was making it worse!

Whenever we try to split up, she doesn't stop harassing me (59 calls once while I was at work, as well as 13 text messages), I was at my wits end

My depression (from the fight) and constant anger just grew and grew, until 3 weeks ago, I seriously couldn't handle anymore and dumped her.
2 weeks later (and well over a hundred calls and texts) she came over with Nicole, she had told Nicole I constantly beat her up (never laid a finger on her I swear), in fact she told EVERYONE who I ever knew, friends and enemies alike. She demanded everything she ever bought me, I gave it all back, she then refused to pay me back the money she owed me, and kept majority of stuff I bought her.

5 days later (2 days ago) she rang me, she was with Nicole, Reece (a (sorry for language) who I used to be friends with) and a friend of Reece, admitting she had been cheating on me for the last 3 months with him, and winding me up by saying 'want to sleep at his? You can't sleep with me though, ill be in his bed with him'. From that moment till 5AM I don't remember a thing, just remember 'clicking back on' and finding myself completely worn out punching my punching bag repeatedly.

Tonight, I spoke to Nicole on msn, she has been getting with a different guy every night, and has had 'been pleasured in ways you could never do to her'.

Id just like to say, the whole time I was going out with her, I was telling her how beautiful she was, that she wasn't fat, etc etc, and she never once said a nice thing back to me. Now I can't get her out of my head, she's constantly on my mind, I can't cope with how she has changed so much, how she is getting with a lot of people, who she might be with at this very moment, who she might get with in days to come, what she might do with them. I feel physically sick over all of this, its like losing a granddad or a similar relative but having the coffin tied to you ankles with wheels, constantly with me. Ill admit it, I keep breaking down and crying, throwing up at work, I can't even think straight anymore, any advice would be good, sorry this is so long ,thank you if you read it, and sorry for spelling + grammar.

[dreamangel226]

This girl sounds psycho (sorry, but it's true). She's very immature, insecure, low self-esteem, etc. She is also verbally, physically, emotionally and mentally abusive to herself and you. She sounds as though she has a lot of problems that she needs professional help with. There is nothing that you can do for her because she doesn't love herself enough to even began to appreciate anyone else's love. Be glad that you are not involved anymore.

[OverdriveBoney]

Thank you for that reply, I always put down her actions to the brain abscess she has/had. All I ever wanted to do was help her, I can't just stop being involved with her. I know 'teenage love' is meant to be false etc, but to me it feels too real. I wanted to support her through her problems, she had agreed to see a counsellor, but nothing ever came of it. I just feel like I've failed her, and that she will go back into a downward spiral of being used by other guys for sex, eventually end up a typical 'teenage mum'. I really can't bare that to happen because all I see is how beautiful she is, and how kind she could be to me on occasions. She was the only one I could talk to since 'the fight', I depended on her, which is why I turned a blind eye to the way she was. I really don't know what to do, I can't see myself getting another girlfriend due to how ugly etc she has made me realise I am, so I can't try to move on that way, I'm just stuck in a cycle of having no one to talk to because of Liam, I can't even go clubbing or anything like that due to constant death threats I receive.

[OverdriveBoney]

I just rang her, she's in the car with Nicole, going to an area to pick up 'some people', at least she seems happy I guess. A lot happier then she was with me, but my mind is racing about who those people are, what she will do with them, why she's even picking them up, why she out at this time doing that, etc etc. I felt violently sick after a minute on the phone to her (8 minute call) I really can't cope with this much longer, its all too much for me. I just need a way for her to go back out with me or for me to erase her from my mind, hypnosis maybe? Im completely lost as to what to do, its just gone midnight here, and I can't sleep with worry and feeling violently ill, please I need advice on how to move on/get back with her, at this moment I don't really care which one! I just need this pain to stop.

[daisydew]

There's no "quick fix" for getting over someone. My boyfriend broke up with me 9 months ago and I still struggle with it every now and then. You just have to let time heal your wounds and work on living a healthy lifestyle. Take care of yourself. Like dreamAngel said, it sounds like you're better off without her in your life. Have you read the sticky posted in this relationship forum? I know the title is about being dumped, but I think it could help you out too even though you were the dumper. Good luck, and hang in there!

[Homegirl 50]

You ought to be thanking your lucky stars she is gone. Who needs all of that drama in their life? There was more bad than good to that relationship. Tlak about dysfunction, that is text book. Just remind yourself of the pain and embarrassment and be glad she's gone.

[hehehman]

Man a, honestly an you do know this your much better offgod only knows where it would have ended up later on in life if you carried on.b,maybe the reason that you can't get her out of urhead is the damage that she has brought to you both socially and emotionally. Emotionally here I'm talking about the damage to your ego. You keep referrin back to her in your mind because there is something left between her an you that needs to be sorted, you still don't see how strong a person your are do you? We do things in life to make ourselves stronger like at the start you said that you went with her because you wanted to help her meaning that you were strong enough psychologicaly,socially and emotionally to cope with all the sh8t in her life. You are but you neednt chase her again you done your best but that girl feels like she needs someone to damage her she needs her punishment or so she thinks. All that can be said is well done to you for trying though don't get into a relationship to help someone do it cause you can be good together

[nicespringgirl]

A) Threatening to kill herself
B) TRYING to kill herself
C) Throwing things at me, such as house phones
D) Pushing me around, then screaming I was hitting her
E) Insult every part of me, then tell me how badly I insult her, when I never do except in retaliation

I wonder why did you even start date someone like her? You have no choice or you are a doormat?

How did you react when she did that? How old was you both?

She is a psycho, she needs some professional help for sure.

You still miss her? It's really a funny logic, like you know it's a bomb you still want to keep it home. I don't get your logic at all... not at all.

[OverdriveBoney]

I just thought id post to say thank you for all the helpful and friendly replies, and to update anyone who's interested, a week ago (thursday, my birthday to be exact) I met up with her again. She acted as if we had never split up, hand down my trousers etc. We decided to 'give it a go', the following day she said she would pay for a hotel room for us to stay in for the night to 'make it up', in the end I paid for it, it turned out to be quite a nice night actually, until the following day when I told her about Nicole ringing me telling me she was pregnant etc. She then said 'obviously Nicole isn't lying, so stop lying, your such a '.

The following day things went the same, good at first, having a go at me by the end of the night. On the Monday, she went away to a college 7 hours by train away for the week, she has only just came back. It was for a BT course which she will have to go for a week every month basically, and she is one of the only two girls on the course with 30+ guys. She purposely (admitted it) tried to get me to be suspicious, by having a go at me for ringing her, ringing me 30 minutes later then what she said she would, letting guys in her room and talking to them while I was on the phone to her (which she would put on the bed so I could listen in), she didn't just talk, she basically flirted. Every night she did this. This night I went out with her, drove her around as that is what she likes doing with Nicole, id like to point out I have a severe phobia of cars, ever since being thrown from a bumper car at a young age and ending up in hospital with severe injuries.

---Thank you everyone for your comments since I last posted, they have given me a slight confidence boost that maybe I wasn't such a terrible boyfriend/person after all, only slightly though---

Sorry I don't have the time to check the spelling and grammar at this moment, so excuse any mistakes please.

To nicespringgirl, you could say I'm a doormat, I was known for being too kindhearted for my own good, even as a kid id give away my 'pocket money' to a beggar if I saw them, used to help out in charity shops etc, so obviously I would let her walk all over me rather then hurt her, its just not in me to do that.
We were both 17 at the time, I was just like a man without emotion, I was too shocked that the beautiful girl I loved could be like this, I didn't want to believe it, and I still can't convince myself that she is like that.
I know people have said she has physchotic tendencies, but I feel a huge pang of guilt if I even try to think that way, as she has suffered with a brain abscess for a couple years (I believe) and it feels the same way as a kid mocking a disabled elderly man for being disabled, I can't blame her for 'acting up' sometimes when she has a brain related illness.
Yea I do miss her, I'm one of those people who never stop caring for someone, I guess I was foolish for even letting myself get attached to someone at this age, but I can't change that now. Thank you for that post though!

I get a huge sickening feeling, I feel as if I'm drunk while I'm driving, and I panic if I do anything such as reversing, but I ignored all of this to try and give her what she wanted. We had a good night surprisingly, there has been no argument at time of posting.

Overall things seem to be slowly picking up and going back to normal (if it could be called that?) even though I'm in constant fear she will cheat on me again, and she won't even try to reassure me. I know I'm being out of order, but I can't help but be weary of the past rearing its head again.

[mckenzie134]

Thank god if she never contacts you again she will ruin your life and you can't even see it.

One day you may return here and wonder what the hell you ever put up with this girl for. She's using you and she's doing all this crap to make you jealous. Don't put up with this crap you are a doormat and in the end she will just get another boyfriend when she's ready. Get some balls and tell her how it is. If she pulls this crap let her know you won't take it DUMP HER!!

[talaniman]

This has to be one of the unhealthiest relationships I've ever read and you should be glad she is out of your life.