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    ng07's Avatar
    ng07 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 2, 2007, 12:51 PM
    2.5 years ago.before I was engaged
    I cheated. It was a relationship (barely physical-just kissed) but it was with someone I know very well and deeply loved-still love.
    I'm still thinking about this person who owns so much of my heart and I don't know what to do. My husband is a wonderful man but can't compare to this person.
    I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 1. This "cheating" happened a few months before we got engaged and I was too scared to break things off and I said yes. After that, I ended all communication with my ex and have been doing OK trying to put him out of my mind. But lately it is been unbearable. I dream about him, wake up in the morning and look over to a man I want to love as much as him but don't. What do I do??
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Sep 2, 2007, 01:38 PM
    To be blunt. One question though; is your ex still available and does he know how you feel and does he still feel the same way about ?

    Now the blunt part. If you and your ex have great feelings for each other that may go beyond kissing in the future and if you and he have a future together then I wouldn't ruin three lives and continue on in your present relationship.

    But then again, if this is just a phantasy, then you will have to do the best you can to live up to your marriage vows.
    Marily's Avatar
    Marily Posts: 457, Reputation: 51
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    #3

    Sep 4, 2007, 01:03 AM
    This is not fair to husband, you made vows to him, I would say focus on your marriage
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
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    #4

    Sep 4, 2007, 11:32 AM
    If you just barely kissed this person, where did your deep love for him develop? Were you friends first?

    Would you say that you know this person better than your husband? Did you ever actually date this person? Friendships vs. a romantic relationship are two different things. Though you may have deep feelings for this person, it doesn't mean you would make a good, happy couple. You really have to think this through because it sounds like this could just be infatuation, not love. Maybe the excitement of the "what if" with this person?

    Don't make any rash decisions, you married your husband and he deserves that commitment from you.
    tobeamiss's Avatar
    tobeamiss Posts: 65, Reputation: 17
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    #5

    Sep 7, 2007, 09:24 PM
    It sounds to me like you can't get him out of your mind because it never did go any further than kissing and you've always wondered if would have and what it would have been like.
    And... why were you too scared to break things off with your husband when he asked you to marry him? Was it because you were truly in love with him and really did in fact want to marry him? Or, was it also because you knew that breaking it off with him for someone else who you've only kissed could have possibly been a huge mistake?
    I think you're infatuated with the other guy. How long did you know him? And why do you say you were and are still deeply in love with him?
    We need more info.
    MayMsredrose's Avatar
    MayMsredrose Posts: 189, Reputation: 13
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    #6

    Sep 8, 2007, 04:34 AM
    Do not ruin wonderful relationship for nothing... YES, I say wonderful although you do not feel it now but you will feel how valuable it is once you lose it, and regret it for a life time... if your ex cares for you he would not leave you for another man... Wake up from your daydream and live in the reality...

    Ms. Redrose
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Sep 24, 2007, 07:45 AM
    Dreams and fantasy are great, but not when they keep you from doing the right thing, and focusing on your husband. If you spent as much time on real life, as you do in your fantasy world, your real life could be happy and healthy. Let that "what if" in your head go, and get busy with what you have. It may not be easy, but it would be the best thing to do.

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