[tickle]

Fuzzy. That was a great statement, but this is an old post, from 2007. I only wish some others with an alcohol problem will read and learn by it. Stick around, we need people with your determination and discipline.

Tick

[fuzznuttski]

Thanks. I read a few of the early ones, then went to the end to see where this person was headed, & saw it at June 3, 2010. I was hoping she was still w/ us. There's always hope. Thanks again, Tickle.

[Clough]

You have an excellent insight and attitude, fuzznuttski!

I too, am a member of A.A.

This thread is now very old and archived. So, it's not generally visible on the list of currently active threads. If GoinDown started a new thread about the issue, there would be even more people who would be responding because the thread would be on the list of currently active threads and thus more readily available to anyone.

Thanks!

[fuzznuttski]

Thanks. I'm new to this & any help is appreciated. I wish to continue these online forums as they help me in my substance abuse counseling studies. Got to give it away in order to keep it!

[moongirlNY]

I see the last post was Jun 20, 2010. That was my 39th birthday. I was born on Father's Day and this was the first year it fell on my birthday, that my father was gone.
I am sitting here tonight, alone, three or four drinks in, knowing I need to stop and feeling so alone. I did a search for "I am too embarrassed to go to AA" and found GoingDown's post. I read all your responses. They are such great advice. I noted the hypnosis site to go back to after I post this.

My story is much the same except my husband says that if I feel like I drink too much, that is all that matters and he will support me in any way. I never get DRUNK, I never get out of control (in any way EXCEPT that I cannot totally control how much I drink- I make myself stop at one bottle of wine per night) ugh to say that "out loud" is so humiliating and embarrassing. Also, I only drink one brand and type of wine. If I cannot get it, I half heartedly buy another kind, and only have a glass. I don't drink beer, whisky or anything else, even though it is in the house. I am also addicted to mint mocha frappucinos from Starbucks. Not interested in any other flavor. When the discontinued the syrup flavor at my local store, I stopped going. I am the kind of person who really really likes what they like and not much of anything else. I won't eat certain kinds of fat for example but I have no problem downing 6 slices of bacon on occasion. I real the 12 steps and they just don't seem to apply to me. I found a special program designed for women because apparently women drink to excess for different reasons than men. And I was able to quit for three years. I thought I was OK and that I could start drinking the wine in moderation again. I did well for about 6 months but I am back to drinking the entire bottle again.
I bought a case of wine a few weeks ago and I have three bottles left. I intend to stop when that runs out. Last time what I did was switch to a juice, because I like a sweet (drink) with my savory (meal.) Right now, I eat so I can continue drinking (I hate any kind of alcohol without food. It is too acidic.) I have put on 45 pounds since I started again 6 months ago. I feel so lonely. I am so ashamed. But I also know I can do this because I have done it before. Your advice to GoingDown was great. I hope she is doing OK. I am really rooting for her. I hope some of you will root for me. This is my first ever "public" acknowledgment of my issue.

[fuzznuttski]

1st, what you ought to do is re-enlist your post as a new one. That way others will be able to see it, because now it is buried behind old posts. By then you'll hopefully receive a wider range of help & suggestions.

2nd, now that you've recognized some issues related to your alcohol consumption, you'll hopefully be ready for change. That is what recovery, from anything, is all about. It seems, from what you've stated, that you have what is commonly referred to as an "addictive personality". Welcome to the club! It's not a sin. Yet it's causing enough turmoil in your life that you want help... to change.

3rd, attendance at some sort of support group, or 1-on-1 therapy sessions, can help, esp early on. There's an issue(s), but confusion abounds. Yep! Done that too. Finding someone who can help map out a plan of recovery is a great way to go. They've probably travelled that road & know what to look for, both + & -. It's called sponsorship. The 12 Steps of AA lay out what is necessary to live a life not only w/out alcohol, but to put your life back together, piece by piece, slowly. This is not an overnight proposition. I've been sober over 10 yrs & just got back from a meeting, because it helps me exhale emotionally, & bond w/ sober people.

4th, don't ever quit quitting! We learn to love ourselves, but 1st we need to UNlearn old behaviors in order to learn new ones. I can't love myself by practicing self defeating habits, one day at a time, one habit at a time. Asking for help is THE single most important thing you've done so far. Continue... I'll look forward to another post by moongirlNY.

[Clough]

Yes, if new threads are started, they will get noticed the most. This thread is now very old an archived and not visible anymore on the list of currently active threads.

I had started a new thread a few months back, if someone might be interested in posting on it.

Below, is the link to it.

LINK

Thanks!

[fuzznuttski]

I looked up your post but haven't had enough time to read through it. I went to the end where people were worried @ you & hoped you weren't offended @ what someone had said. That was in May. So I guess you're OK, & as long as you're sober, that's all that matters. I'll get back tro you later. I have a conference to attend tomorrow on Recovery.

[Clough]

Yeah, I'm okay. At least I think I am. Lot's of things going on in my life that are making things to be somewhat uncomfortable...

Am still sober and that matters a lot! Am getting used to being that way.

By the way, I never mentioned that I was "offended" by anyone on the other thread. Someone else thought that I was.

I hope that you have a great time and learn a lot at the conference that you're going to attend!

Thanks!