[firmbeliever]

Thank you for sharing Ken,
I am sure it will help Goindown a lot to have another fighting the same fight to talk with and share ideas.

[RustyFairmount]

I'd like to think that I can control myself ... I think I'm fooling myself. But I also think I have to be one of the dumb ones and hit my personal bottom before I really know for sure.

For people like us, it's either zero drinks, or 60 drinks. There is no in-between. If you could have controlled this on your own, why haven't you already?? You need help, and that help is out there. Thank God!

As for personal bottom, what makes you think you haven't already hit it? I can sense the despair and suffering in the tone of your postings. You don't need to get thrown in jail or lose your license to want to turn your life around. You're on the right track. Follow the program, and you'll be OK.

[Dave3435x]

Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another ... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.

1. Remove alcohol from the house. 2. Join a gym and go there after work. No exceptions. 3. Sign up for a course in anything you like (cooking to math to whatever). - Essentially you have to change your lifestylel/pattenrs. - If you cannot keep to 1 drink then you should think seriousely about AA. You really need to nip this now before your life becomes a total mess (like DUI's and job losses and missing teeth.. ). Also go see a shrink. See what the true underlying issues are that make you want alcohol. My friend, you are headed for certain disaster in you continue on your path. It is obvious that the alcohol controls you and not you controlling it.

[Dave3435x]

Over the past year or so I've found myself having at least one drink a day. I enjoyed having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or later on in the evening. Well, slowly, the number of drinks have increased and I can't seem to stop. I have one drink, and it feels so good to have that warm feeling that I find myself reaching for another ... and another. I don't usually get super drunk, but I like to have that buzzed feeling.

I'm afraid now, though, because I've tried to cut down. If there's any alcohol in the house (there almost always is), I will drink it even though I promise myself to take a break. Then I will promise myself just to have one drink, only to have more. I've taken the 'do you think you're an alcoholic' tests on the internet and failed. I'm afraid of what this could be doing to my body. I'm afraid of it getting worse. I just want some tips or ideas on how to stop or control my drinking.

I need to add more. I too have a problem - always will. Just go to AA. Just do it. I know well the road you are on right now. You'll keep slipping back. The battle will go on for years and the problem will continue to worsen. It is up to you right now. You have the opportunity to do it right, right now. Go to AA right now. AA will provide you the tools, and give you the guidance and support to do this right. I hope you do this now and I hope your husband attends with you. You have to chance right now to make somehting out of the rest of your life. I guarantee you that the longer you postpone this the more days will be wasted. Don't fear telling friends you have a problem and that you need their help from here on out in making you a success.
The things you will accomplish in life will amaze you once you put down the bottle. So far I have learned to play the guitar and can get by speaking French. Next I want to get my SCUBA certification.
Its your life. It your future. And you will have neither if you continue to drink.

[GoinDown]

I know I sound non-committal about quitting the drinking now... but I just want to be normal... have a drink on occasion... and not abuse it. (That is where my first drink on my weekend away came from Captain Rich - yes I did feel guilty). Is that impossible? The reason I drink is not to drown my sorrows, fit in, or 'escape' my life. Don't get me wrong, I have some problems in my life. But mostly, I believe I just really, really like the feeling of being drunk - where did that come from?

Anyhow, the alcohol is out of the house (again) and I'm going to try to abstain. No drink today, and all is well. I still don't want to go to AA, but I may look into that 'shrink' to see if I can resolve my other issues.

Thanks for all your replies and suggestions.

[GoinDown]

It's good to see you back and to know you're doing ok. You had the courage to come back here and be honest with us. I admire that.

That one drink over the weekend... how did that come about? How did it make you feel while you were having it? Probably a little guilty? Maybe nervous for letting your guard down? Got wasted, huh? That must have made you feel good the next day!! I admit, I fell off after a few weeks, too. The first time drinking again at first made me really wasted really fast, and the next day (of was it two?) I was certain getting so wasted was no longer for me.

You don't want to get labeled? What's wrong with "Successful"? Everyone carries labels... It depends on who you're with and what you're doing that determines your label for the moment. Hitting the bottom isn't likely to give you more motivation, nor the type of label that will make you happy.

Keep your strength and stay determined. Find an activity that keeps you busy. If you need to talk, just come in here a look for someone. We're on your side!

I tried to 'rate' your answer but the system wouldn't allow me to. I just wanted to say thank you for your words of encouragement and putting such a positive spin on things. I'm going to try to re-focus, and try again.

[CaptainRich]

I tried to 'rate' your answer but the system wouldn't allow me to. I just wanted to say thank you for your words of encouragement and putting such a positive spin on things. I'm going to try to re-focus, and try again.

You don't have to rate us. You've given us a chance to help you. That's a rating I can live with! And one I genuinely appreciate!

[Greg Quinn]

Number one with support... Continue to be honest and we will all be here to help you out. I admire your ability to make such bold moves like this. I am rooting for you. To join AA you have to be able to accept god and religion and faith into your life. I know people who have had a problem with that and I know people who have no problem with that. Regardless anyway, that is your decision to go that route if you choose to go it. Some people can do it on their own with other types of support like what you are doing here! Bravo!

[GoinDown]

It's been awhile since I last posted and thought I'd give an update.

Everyone who has posted here is right about the dangerous path I'm going down. I started drinking again and it didn't take long until I was drinking everyday but the quantity was generally up to at least 4 drinks/day.

Well, before Christmas I couldn't handle it anymore. One night I couldn't sleep thinking about what a loser I'm becoming so I got up and logged on to the AA website and began reading some of their literature. They have a section on Women and Alcoholics and some of these women's personal stories... I guess they touched me and I could relate to some of them. In the morning I spoke to my husband and essentually 'admitted' that I have a drinking problem. I'm not sure why I'm so opposed to be labeled an alcoholic, but I'm comfortable to be labelled someone with a 'drinking problem'. Somehow, it just fits better for me and I'm able to accept this as truth. It took some convincing before my husband would even believe me! But, once again, the alcohol was removed from the house. We've been to many social gatherings where alcohol has been served (X-mas & New Years is a crappy time to quit drinking) but I just felt so determined to make a change right then and there that I didn't want to wait for the New Year's resolution excuse.

I'm now on day 14 alcohol free... things are going well, haven't felt tempted too often to drink... but I'm not entirely certain that I can keep strong. My husband has some business trips out of town coming up, and I have to admit that the first thing that pops into my mind is that I could get drunk without anyone knowing - crap - the temptation is creeping into my head. I'm trying to keep busy, exercise and stay healthy... I AM considering going to AA. Until I work up the courage to go, isn't there any practical advice or knowledge anyone has learned in their own experience to keep up the momentum and determination to stay sober?

I'd be grateful for any practical advice. Thanks.

[CaptainRich]

First, congratulations! Again!
It seems this demon still hasn't gotten total control. And I'm happy to hear you're getting acknowledgment and support at home.
You asked if there is any practical advie or knowledge... You have the knowledge and the tools already. It's up to you to implement them. Try considering the cost of NOT staying sober: your own health, mental and physical. Think about how you'll feel after letting yourself down and letting down those who care about you.
Is there anybody who lives near you that you can trust enough to sit face to face and talk to you? Make sure there is no alcohol in the house. Try to plan some type of activities for yourself for the whole time he's gone. Something that will occupy the times when you think you'd likely be most tempted.
I'm certain you can remain strong and committed to staying away from people that could become inadvertent temptation. You can do this!

[Choux]

I participated in a 12 Step Program related to Alcoholics Anonymous, and I learned so much about how to live a happy and successful life from my connection to this group.

It sounds to me that you are not ready to change. We can be unhappy with ourselves, our behavior, and want what is best for ourselves, but *we have to change*. Most adults do not want to do the effort it takes to change. Changing means we can't have our old comfortable thinking patterns, a self-centered world view, our same stress relievers, our excuses, the whole shebang... we all know what that is!

When you are ready to change, there will be 12 Step Programs for Alcoholics available near you, in all likelihood.

Good Luck to you on your journey through life!

[cerulean]

It would also help if you had or will still use hypnosis in addition to the support. It explores and neutralizes the REAL reasons you drink, which are different from the so called habit and then sets you free. Most people are aware of how powerful hypnosis is, but not everyone is. Being with a huge group that are focused on the same thing, a resolution to a drinking problem is also a form of a trance, you're suspending your focus onto one thing as you do when you are becoming hypnotised, and that is in the eradiction of a problem surrounded by others like yourself (commonality) focusing (trance) on the same goal. Hypnosis is about focusing and holding and then healing through suggestion. Everything is a form of a trance, watching TV.. driving.. but the actual machinations of being hypnotised and exploring yourself through another is wonderful, powerful and fast. Id still suggest it if you can afford it, or know someone competent who can do it for free. There are some people who have broken free from alcohol in a session or two and have saved their liver quite a hardship and their emotions the further torment and guilt that would have gone months if not years longer.

It's been awhile since I last posted and thought I'd give an update.

Everyone who has posted here is right about the dangerous path I'm going down. I started drinking again and it didn't take long til I was drinking everyday but the quantity was generally up to at least 4 drinks/day.

Well, before Christmas I couldn't handle it anymore. One night I couldn't sleep thinking about what a loser I'm becoming so I got up and logged on to the AA website and began reading some of their literature. They have a section on Women and Alcoholics and some of these women's personal stories ... I guess they touched me and I could relate to some of them. In the morning I spoke to my husband and essentually 'admitted' that I have a drinking problem. I'm not sure why I'm so opposed to be labeled an alcoholic, but I'm comfortable to be labelled someone with a 'drinking problem'. Somehow, it just fits better for me and I'm able to accept this as truth. It took some convincing before my husband would even believe me! But, once again, the alcohol was removed from the house. We've been to many social gatherings where alcohol has been served (X-mas & New Years is a crappy time to quit drinking) but I just felt so determined to make a change right then and there that I didn't want to wait for the New Year's resolution excuse.

I'm now on day 14 alcohol free ... things are going well, haven't felt tempted too often to drink ... but I'm not entirely certain that I can keep strong. My husband has some business trips out of town coming up, and I have to admit that the first thing that pops into my mind is that I could get drunk without anyone knowing - crap - the temptation is creeping into my head. I'm trying to keep busy, exercise and stay healthy ... I AM considering going to AA. Until I work up the courage to go, isn't there any practical advice or knowledge anyone has learned in their own experience to keep up the momentum and determination to stay sober?

I'd be grateful for any practical advice. Thanks.

[simoneaugie]

Excellent advise here. I was reminded of what someone once said to me. "If you want things to get better, first they have to get different." That implies change. If you're ready, eliminate alcohol from your immediate life. If it is helpful, do not keep it in the house. If you live with others who feel it must be in the house, think of it as "not yours." Join with others who also want to quit, or have quit drinking. Alcoholism is a disease, dis-ease. It feels normal to be buzzed, uncomfortable to be sober. Sobriety causes dis-ease. That's why it is so helpful to find others to talk about it with. Hypnosis has helped many too.

[lovelesspa]

You already did the hard part, faced the fact, you have a problem, 1st step. Now try and surround yourself with people who can help you, (non-drinkers). Give yourself some quiet time, when you get these urges to have one, meditate, Imagine yourself sober for the rest of your life, tell yourself daily it's a good thing you will never drink again. Keep yourself busy, when you feel like having one, go for a walk or bike ride, walk or run with a dog, rearrange a closet, drawer, get a hobby keep your fingers and mind on other things, rake the yard, pick up trash in your neighborhood...

[GoinDown]

Thanks for all your suggestions... I'll try to keep busy, stay positive and remember that having one drink means being out of control again. The alcohol has been out of the house but creeps in here and there. Gifts of wine from friends, beer when we had company. I asked my husband to get rid of the wine... then I noticed yesterday that there's still beer in the fridge - I wish I didn't have to ask him to remove everyone specific type of alcohol :mad: It'll be removed tonight. Anyhow, I feel really resolved to stop this time. It's been 16 days today. I don't know why one of the poster's said he doesn't think I'm ready to change. I really want to.

[CaptainRich]

Stay busy and stay positive! You're doing good!
And don't think you can't dispose of leftover bevs yourself. There is something empowering about just dropping unwanted stuff in the trash. I wouldn't pour it out... that's too demonstrative, and just opening the bottle could be too tempting. Once you've dropped any bottles in the trash, wrap it up and take it out! Brush your hands off and tell it, "Good-bye!" That just might feel good, you know what I mean?

[ordinaryguy]

There is something empowering about just dropping unwanted stuff in the trash.

Great insight, Cap'n. Yeah, drop it in, tie it up, and take it to the dumpster.

[twinkiedooter]

If you smoke cigarettes it's going to be harder to stop drinking. Hopefully you don't smoke so it should make things a bit easier for you. The thing you need to keep in mind is keep busy with something to take your mind off drinking.

The fact that you even WANT to stop is great as alcohol is very hard to resist and beckons to us again and again.

Pray for strength to resist also. Prayer is very powerful and should not be dismissed. Don't think you are foolish by asking for the Higher Powers that Be to step in and help you as they will help you if only you will ask for the help. Live each day 5 minutes at a time. That helps also.

[GoinDown]

Thanks, no I don't smoke. And praying to a higher power is always a good idea :) I'm still struggling.

[fuzznuttski]

In Jan '08 you stated you were considering going to AA & here it is 2+ years later & you're still struggling. It was @ 22 months between my 1st AA meeting & my last drink. Took awhile before I admitted it was more than just A problem. It was a symptom of a deeper problem- ME! And after several years of sobriety I came to believe that I didn't struggle w/ alcoholism. I gave into it willingly. I STRUGGLED W/ SOBRIETY!! If you really want what sober people have, you NEED to associate w/ sober people, to see how they manage their lives, emotions & relationships. If your husband won't cooperate by not bringing it home, ask him to lock it away. And not use it around you. Stay away from wet places & wet people. GO TO AA!! A LOT! 90 meetings in 90 days & continue, continue, continue... as if your life depends on it, because it does! I've known 22 people perish from this disease. I'm going to die w/ this disease, but I don't need to die from it. Nor wish to. And stay in constant contact w/ those who follow the path of sobriety. Sound like a lotta work? How much work are you putting into wasting away your life? The people in recovery will be there for you. The bartenders/party store owners/drunks won't miss you. Give yourself a fair chance. It's worth every precious effort. God be w/ you, if you only ask.