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classicrocker · Apr 25, 2008, 04:47 PM

Thanks losingit77, makes complete sense

DazT · Apr 27, 2008, 05:23 AM

I don't know guys, today I'm really starting to get temptations to break N/C. I feel like I need a new girl to hang out with, to tell stuff to, to talk to.. I have no one in my life like that any more :(! I feel like just saying to her, "What's the point in this? Can't we just be friends?" or else getting back on the scene and look for a new girl to share love with.

I don't know, I'm in one of those moods. I picked up my memory box today, read all of the text messages we used to send each other and now I'm really missing it.. even a wee talk at the end of the day, someone to ask me how was my day.. I really miss it :(

bigbird213 · Apr 27, 2008, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by DazT

I don't know guys, today I'm really starting to get temptations to break N/C. I feel like I need a new girl to hang out with, to tell stuff to, to talk to.. I have no one in my life like that any more :(! I feel like just saying to her, "What's the point in this? Can't we just be friends?" or else getting back on the scene and look for a new girl to share love with.

I don't know, I'm in one of those moods. I picked up my memory box today, read all of the text messages we used to send each other and now I'm really missing it.. even a wee talk at the end of the day, someone to ask me how was my day.. I really miss it :(

DazT,

We all have those temptations. Its just part of the process. You say you want to call and say "Can't we just be friends" but what you really mean is "Can't we talk so I can convince you to get back together with me". That's a slippery slope and will undoubtedly lead to worse heartache than your feeling now.

What you need to keep telling yourself is that this mood will pass. Almost every morning when I wake up I am in the same mood, but if you wait it out long enough it will eventually fade. Just make sure you don't do anything drastic when your high on emotions...

Hang in there

Chameleon24 · Apr 27, 2008, 08:20 AM

I'm on day 36 of NC. After I reached a month I took a look back and realized I improved a lot. I've been thinking about other things, new things, going on in my life. I do not have any intention of calling him or contacting him in any way. My main reason being because I have absolutely nothing to say to him. And I'm sure he doesn't want to hear from me.
After time went by and my head cleared I realized he wasn't the one. He wasn't all that I thought he was. I'm obviously not completely over the whole thing though. Sure, my feelings have died down, but I still think about him. I feel myself get jealous sometimes of the girl he's with now, even though I don't want him back.

polska · Apr 27, 2008, 08:44 AM

Big Bird & Daz T,

I'm feeling the same way today. I have been dreaming of her several times a night. I wake up and lie there thinking of things I want to say to her. Just like Daz... I want to tell her we can be friends. But we all know that Big Bird is absolutely right! This would add more pain to our hearts. We were so used to confiding in each other before the break-up I don't know what to do. I've exhausted all of my close friends over the past few weeks trying to get them to tell me what to do. I think I'm looking for answers that no one can give me but myself. I am on day 23 of NC and it is still very hard not to call or text her.
I feel lonely and empty. There is so much that I wish I had done or said before the break-up. Any of that would not matter now anyway. It's too late.
I can't seem to let go. If I do contact her expecting a certain result or words that I want to hear and don't get them, It'll be like starting this pain all over again with more mental crap piled on.

It's So hard!

kaneda · Apr 27, 2008, 10:35 AM

It was my first day today,or should I say this is my 536448 try at this.broke up 4-5 months ago (trying to not keep track when exactly).I just wanted to ask - should I say goodbye *again*,should I say just a casual bye and never write back (we had a LDR) or should I say I'm going into nc,please don't contact me?

classicrocker · Apr 27, 2008, 10:39 AM

Yea I broke my no contact again! Damn me. Oh well no one said it would be easy. Lets try again..

losingit77 · Apr 27, 2008, 11:06 AM

We've all broken NC before, so don't worry too much about it now. Just remember that feeling you had after you broke it (probably not good... defeated) and try to go farther this time. If NC was easy, we wouldn't be on this thread. Went 13 days on my last stretch. Now I'm on Day 8 so I know I can go farther than 13 so I'm focusing on making At least 30 this time.

nickshehe · Apr 27, 2008, 11:33 AM

I think I'm pretty good at NC :P

len21 · Apr 27, 2008, 02:14 PM

Man I suck! My ex helped us move some stuff in our flat yesterday I know it sounds dumb but he was pretty much the only one who could do it.. anyway so I see him and straig away he is telling me how amazing I look blah blah and I can't help it I love the way he constantly checking me out, stupid but I feel like at least I have that power over him.. so we flirt and all have a bit of fun during the moving and stuff and my flatmate offered to get him some dinner for helping out which he accepted and then it all leads to us sleeping together... I know it was dumb but well I wasn't really thinking but today it has messed with my head a bit. It was all pretty weird afterwards cause we just hung out for a while like old times, he told that isn't as strong about everything as he would like to be and it can see that he is hurting. I don't know how I feel today he asked me if we could see each other again this week...

ihatewestseneca · Apr 27, 2008, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by kaneda

should i say just a casual bye and never write back (we had a LDR) or should i say i'm going into nc,please dont contact me?

I sat down with my ex before she left (we also had an LDR) and I told her that I think it would be best if we didn't talk to each other for awhile, she respected it very well. She had a new BF almost immediately after breaking up with me, which most definitely contributed to her not contacting me but non the less, she respected the NC.

If you do say that you want NC, try not to be a jerk about it... I told my ex "if you want to do this, then i just can't be your friend" she took it pretty hard and it sucks more than anything to see her cry, but I know now that it was for the best.

Everyone else... we all have those days, I had one yesterday, ME? After 4 months almost 5 of NC. But I've learned to tell myself that things are going to be better tomorrow. If you really need to talk to someone, just hug your mom, I don't know about everyone else's mother, but my mom loves it when I hug her because I rarely do it anymore, but I did last night and it made me feel loads better. Just tell yourself that things will get better tomorrow, and if they aren't better at first, don't lay in bed, get up! Start the day, do something, anything... I used to poke fun at my ex's slight OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), I've kind of developed OCD from always trying to find something to do.

Hang in there people, if you make it through the days where you really want to break NC, its totally worth it later in the days where you can't help but not care about what he/she is up to. When that happens, honestly, its bittersweet, you feel like you're really moving on, but its sad because they aren't there to see you move on and support you. And realizing that you don't need them or even want them.

@Dazt, if you want to tell her, write an email, but don't send it! There's a forum on here called "letters to our ex's" I even found it for you... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...+to+our+ex%27s

log · Apr 27, 2008, 11:10 PM

Hey numb your quite the genius thinking about this nc discussion board lol it really works! I have been broken apart for about 7months and no contact for 5months... truth is it really was aweful at first ,but as the days go by you as a human being come to your senses .I do see her once in a while like in a mall or a bar (as she now lives minutes away from my house haha which really sucks to be her).that being said,the ex always thinks about you and they really do miss you remember they dumped us and that's why they have the guilt conscious in contacting us... theyre the one who chose the easy way out.so if you ever do see your ex ,they're always happy to see you just don't know how to say it (depending on the past relationship with them)but never mind them now they are the past and you my friends are the future.

kaneda · Apr 28, 2008, 02:37 AM

Day 2 going strong for now.its only 1pm

Romefalls19 · Apr 28, 2008, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by DazT

I don't know guys, today I'm really starting to get temptations to break N/C. I feel like I need a new girl to hang out with, to tell stuff to, to talk to.. I have no one in my life like that any more :(! I feel like just saying to her, "What's the point in this? Can't we just be friends?" or else getting back on the scene and look for a new girl to share love with.

I don't know, I'm in one of those moods. I picked up my memory box today, read all of the text messages we used to send each other and now I'm really missing it.. even a wee talk at the end of the day, someone to ask me how was my day.. I really miss it :(

What do you have a memory box for? Pack them up, put them in storage. All of that stuff is in the past, if you keep living in the past you're going to let life pass you by. This girl was NOT your life, you don't need anyone in this life except for yourself. You were brought into this world alone and you will more than likely die alone. I can't recall exactly how long you dated her, or how old you are. But mentality was I was with my ex for almost 3 years and I am 21. So look, I was 18 when we got together, that means for the other 18 years I WAS FINE ON MY OWN as you will be too. DELETE those stupid text messages, THEY MEAN NOTHING ANYMORE!

I hope you don't take this to harshly, but sometimes we need a fire lit under our a*sess to get to the point we need to be.

DazT · Apr 28, 2008, 06:06 AM

Very true Rome mate, cheers for that. I was very hungover when I wrote that message, probably still drunk and I've noticed that drinking does me no good, it is probably delaying my recovery because it makes me think of her even more.

I was 15 when I started going out with her, now I'm 18. Two and a half years with a spoilt, immature brat with only the looks going for her... so why is it taking me so long to get over her? Not the same type of music, nothing really in common.. treated each other like shi* most of the time around the end. I don't know.

Not going to break contact, don't even have those temptations any more.. just yesterday because I was too hungover to think clearly.

Romefalls19 · Apr 28, 2008, 06:35 AM

Good for you Dazt! I know how you feel, me and my ex didn't have loads in common but still found common ground. I HATE spending money on useless things, she was over 2 grand in debt, she loves shopping, I hate shopping.. So it's true, opposites attract.

I'm glad you're deciding not to break no contact because it really would serve no good. I have been where you are, and it does get a lot better and easier. Just keep on the right path

DazT · Apr 28, 2008, 06:44 AM

Ahhh, same to myself. I hate spending money on myself, never mind other people! And she lost her job around 6 months before we broke up, and she was always looking me to buy stuff for her, which I really hated especially as we were fighting and all. I guess its her loss, I was being a mug for her, I'm nobodys fool any more.

I have now purchased my first car and am absolutely broke - loving driving though and have picked up lots of hot girls from it :D lol. She was always moaning about me not being able to drive so first thing I did when we broke up was started lessons and bought a car! Kick in the teeth for her eh? :D

boredINmind · Apr 28, 2008, 07:13 AM

I thought I would never find another "perfect" guy again, until I just started NC!

NC works wonders, you just have to give it time! Like the old saying, time heals all pains (emotional pains at least ;) )

I went from crying all the time, especially during the sweet little love conquers all movies, haha, to not even thinking about him! And after sitting back and letting go, over time it has made me realize that he wasn't "GREAT" and there really wasn't anything special about him that I can't find in some other guy!

len21 · Apr 28, 2008, 03:48 PM

Day 2 of reinstated N/C, was so bad last night I was home alone and was so close to txting him to come around after he asked if we could see each other this week. I know it would have just been for sex and meant nothing to him so am very glad I didn't! Yay for me.

kaneda · Apr 28, 2008, 11:13 PM

Today is day 3.Day 2 - he wrote to me via an IM,I responded slowly,only to a few of the things he said until he finally asked me what up,said to stop acting this way and in the end god frustrated and stopped trying to talk to me.I kept polite and distant. So that's why I count yerterday as a success.