[Numb]

Yeah I totally understand what you mean.. I fear that the same would happen to me. I was thinking "what IF she calls me someday this month? what would I do?".
The good thing is that you're thinking the right way in my opinion and if he truly shows you how big of a mistake he made and how he regrets it and you decided to have him back, then I'd advice to show him hell before he steps in once again. That's what I'd do IF she ever calls back (won't happen, but IF).

[Suelle383]

The last time we spoke before today (which was 18 days ago).. I told him, "I don't want to be friends, don't call me to be just friends"... and then he goes and does this. I don't know if he calls again.. if I should reiterate that again or play it cool or just ignore him all together.

[Suelle383]

Any suggestions on what to do now? I want to call him and just say listen "what do you want from me? Its all of me or none of me. If you want to be friends, find someonelse to be friends with..." or am I just better off leaving well enough alone and doing nothing... I know I'm probably better off doing nothing, but I just don't know...

[MissingHim2Much]

Any suggestions on what to do now? I want to call him and just say listen "what do you want from me? Its all of me or none of me. If you want to be friends, find someonelse to be friends with..." or am I just better off leaving well enough alone and doing nothing...I know I'm probably better off doing nothing, but I just don't know...

Wow Suelle, that's rough I can't even imagine being in your situation at this point. I would cave I'm sure of it. But something you said earlier about you don't want him back if he's just coming back because his life sucks. Think about it this way on some level he would only want you if his life sucks because he realized it sucks because you're not in it. Does that make sense? I mean if and when they do realize they scewed up and want you back wouldn't their lives suck because they know they threw away the best thing that ever happened to them.

[Suelle383]

Yes, missinghim2much, you're right about his life sucking cause I'm not in it. If he realized that, that'd be one thing. Its just he should just come out and say it then! Its almost like he's trying to feel me out to see what I'm thinking.

I'm going back into NC mode again. I'm thankful that I was able to play it completely cool and that I was the one to end the conversation and get off the phone rather than him. Now he can stir in his emotions like I've had to for the past 2 months. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing his life hasn't been all crazy and fun since he left me. Now he can start guessing what I'm up to... If/when he calls me again (which by the sound of him sounds like he's going to), I'm just going to tell him, its all of me or none of me...

[Numb]

If you ask me, I'd say keep it cool. To tell him to make choice will certainly show him how desperate you are and that you are ready to have him back. Let him take the lead and do the step.. girl, now if he wants to be back, he better come back ON YOUR OWN RULES!

On the other hand, would you really want him back after all of this?

[Suelle383]

Exactly, numb. I'm not doing anything at this point. Its right back to NC with a vengeance. I just soooooo wish I hadn't answered the phone this morning!

[Numb]

It's OK, he'll be calling back tomorrow... once they start the calling they never stop... so just act cool and ignore your phone for a while, cause it will never stop ringing these days! It's obvious that he's cracking up! Pay back time!

[Suelle383]

Aaghh! Why am I sitting here thinking about all this again? I had given up hope that he'd ever come back and that phone call yesterday really screwed me up. What if he's realized that he screwed up and he's trying to reach out? If he calls again, should I just ignore or answer and ask him "why are you calling me? I already told you I don't want to be friends, if that's what you want, STOP calling me!" And then, just end the conversation. And go back to NC?

[ConfusedandLost]

Suelle,
I hear you on that... I'm going through the same with a woman I proposed to and 1 week later she wants to take a "break". You have to be strong and don't cave in... do not sacrifice yourself anymore. Ask yourself if this is what you want down the road if things get patched up. I'm on day number 5 of NC and 21 of physically seeing each other. Sure it hurts a lot wanting to call and reach out to that person you love. Just remember if they truly love you then they will be going through the same agony that you are now. If that is true... then why the "break"... was it true love to begin with? True love knows no boundaries and it waits for no one...

[Suelle383]

So, now by ex texts me, and says " i still love u. absolutely". That's its. Nothing about getting back togeter or anything. So what the heck am I supposed to do with that?? Aagghh, he's so frustrating. I can't believe I have to start all over again with NC.

[MissingHim2Much]

Suelle Do you think he finally knows what he wants? This has got to be making you crazy

[Dave1986]

Im going through the same with my ex g/f of 3.5 years, she rings, emails... she doesn't want to be with me, she just wants to see if I'm still on the back burner. I answered one of her calls by mistake as she phoned from a number I didn't have an whilst I wo asleep.. she then rang from her number which I ignored, bcos I ignored her she emailled me then accusing me of showing people photo's of her which I bit to, an I shouldn't have because she knows full well I wouldn't do that but she just wanted me to respond! Ex's are weird!

[Suelle383]

Yes, its like pull-push, push-pull. Its like the exes want to make things as confusing as possible. Then, my ex texts me again and says, "your still my girlfriend, always will be." What does that mean? We broke up 2 months ago! The only way to the end confusion I guess is back to NC. I can't believe a word he says anymore. I don't know that he's realized his mistake or is just trying to keep me in the back burner for a booty call. I'm not falling for it.

[Dave1986]

I know, its weird how there's so many people experiences the same issues! So it must be right when everyone says... definitely trying to keep us on the back burner! I'm not falling for it either, too many people out there that would treat you a whole lot better

[Suelle383]

New development. He texted me today and wants to come to see me. Fortunately, I actually have plans today so I told him I couldn't. Ha, take that! NC really does work.

[Numb]

Suelle, the ball is in your playground now... congrats :)

I'm on the 5th day of NC.. no word from her.

[Dave1986]

Ha! Good work... yeah NC made my ex g/f come sniffing round but I think lads will take back their ex g/f's more than if a women dumped their ex b/f... if you know what I mean! So I think you stand in good stead compared to my situation

[MissingHim2Much]

I've made no contact for 6 weeks and he hasn't even so much as tried to make contact with me. I guess it works for some but not others. Besides he's been seeing someone else so I'm sure she keeps him busy so I'm not on his mind in the least.

[Dave1986]

I've made NC for 7 weeks yesterday, she's iniated contact 3 times... but it's pointless, unless she sent a text/email saying I've made a mistake I want to give it another go then I'm just moving on, an even if she sent that... with the way I feel now I prob won't take her back... my ex dated a guy straight away after us breaking, like 2 days after, so it was hard for me because I did 2 months worth of chasing before I started the NC... she then dumped him after 2.5 months, so there was nothing ever in it but I think it was to get a point over to me that she doesn't want to see me anymore an that's the only way she could get over me as I wo her first love etc after a 3.5 year relationship!

It won't last with that girl he's seeing, it never does. So stay strong an then at least when it fizzles out you'll be in the driving seat!