[Dave1986]

Hi to all,

Just a quick one.

I was just wondering, been split up (dumped) with my ex g/f for about 3 an half months now... an recently she's tried making contact a couple of times but I don't see the point at all. As she either wants all of me or none of me... I'm not into having girls as friends if that's what she's after.

I'm not holding onto false hopes here as I know my relationship has truly gone, but I was just wondering what if your ex is very person stubborn, listens to friends an family too much an is scared of letting them down by getting back etc if they've told her to move on an can do better etc, just a thought that's all, if they wanted to come back would they still get intouch an swallow there pride regardless of others around them or would you say its purely down to the type of person they are... if that makes sense?

Ta

[mckenzie134]

Ifthey want you back pride would not stand in there way... If they arethe type of person who is influenced my others this is not the person you want to spend your lfe with..

[Dave1986]

Vaild point! My ex does listen to her friends a lot, but I think most girls at 20 would anyway as their not really mature enough to make up their own minds!

[Jiser]

Well after I did a certain amount of hint dropping for a while, I hit the point of no going back! If my ex wants back in she has to make a god dam effort. Nothing so far... Eventually I won't give two hoots.

The dumper does the dumping... in most cases if they want back, well let them work for it!

[talaniman]

Well dave your mind sounds made up, so I suspect you've seen a part of your ex, that isn't very attractive to you??

[MissingHim2Much]

Well after I did a certain amount of hint dropping for a while, I hit the point of no going back! If my ex wants back in she has to make a god dam effort. Nothing so far... Eventually I won't give two hoots.

The dumper does the dumping...in most cases if they want back, well let em work for it!

I agree I lived with my ex for 7 years and have been brokeup for 5 weeks but if he wants to get back together the only way I will is in marriage. That's the only way I will be convinced that he really wants to be together forever

[Suelle383]

MissingHim2Much - you and me are in the same boat!

[MissingHim2Much]

MissingHim2Much - you and me are in the exact same boat!

Is marriage your only acceptable option too Suelle?

[Suelle383]

No, not necessarily marriage right away but definitely anengagement... he'd have to walk across hot coals to get back into my life at this point... but I don't think there's any chance of that happening anyway so I'm just trying to move on and forget about it. We broke up about a month and a half ago.

[MissingHim2Much]

No, not necessarily marriage right away but definitely anengagement...he'd have to walk across hot coals to get back into my life at this point...but I don't think there's any chance of that happening anyway so I'm just trying to move on and forget about it. We broke up about a month and a half ago.

I don't hold out much hope for us either. We broke up 5 weeks ago and he hasn't even tried to call me. And the hot coals thing sounds about right. But we lived together for 7 years so I think that was a long enough engagement. Hahaha

[Dave1986]

I've been split up for about 3 an half months now... trust me, when you get to this stage you really don't want to get back with them.. only a little tiny bit, prob more for habit than anything else. I'll give it another month or so an I'll be fully over mine I reckon, off on holiday on the 18th sept so that should clear my head completely, plenty more fish in the sea... you just don't see it when you first split up!

[Jiser]

Its hard to move on but it will happen! Time helps, I am sure the hols will to! There are more fishes! Plenty more... Just don't rush into anything to quick.

[gabra_123]

To take them back they had better be crawling not walking over those hot coals!! DAVE1986, your ex could be wanting to try again, or possibly she wants to see how destroyed you are, or for some the getting together for coffee and a chat is part of healing and getting over it.

[Dave1986]

I'm not destroyed one bit anymore... I'm happy! Why'd you say she might be wanting to try again? She emailed me today accusing me of showing people photo's of her on my phone etc.. Think she just wants to keep trying to keep contact an string me along until she meets another lad but it isn't working, I don't care enough about her anymore!

[Dave1986]

I personally thinks she wants to see how destroyed I am... but I'm not! Its because I chased her back for 2 months an for last month an half I've not give her one bit of attention so she's prob like eh? What's wrong wi him... why isn't he pining for me anymore, she doesn't deserve it... she broke up with me, so that's her choice! Now she's got to live with it! She'd have to explain how she made a mistake if she wants to step a foot back in my life!

[gabra_123]

Good answer! Girls like that are too high maintenance to be worth the trouble. You mistook me, I said that she Could be wanting to get back together. Some females, depending on their personalities will at times act that way trying to maintain their anger so that they will not give in and reconcile, or they want you to fight for them. At heart many of us are still wanting an assertive knight in shinning armor, unfortunately there are no dragons to slay so you get to put up with our dragon sized mood swings instead. The answer to those possibilities lies in the answer to, did you show any photos of her around that she might object to??

[Dave1986]

Ah right I get you now, no I've not shown anything, as I don't have any photo's because the phone I had when I was with her I lost shortly after breaking up with her, I've had 2 other phones since then! Do there's no way on this planet I could show anyone anything! I reckon she will want to get back but is definitely fighting it, it wasn't a bad break up, just the little petty arguments got the better of us! There is definitely still attraction there!