Check out some similar questions!

4coley · Aug 30, 2005, 12:34 PM

I am a 27 year old female who is just now realizing I love my ex still. We broke up a year and a hlaf ago, but tried to do the friend thing until he found another woman. He has been with her for 6 months. He stopped talking to me when he found her. (Good thing) I thought I was over him until I talked with him a week ago and he started crying when we talked. He asked this girl to move in with him after 3 months and wants to move to Cali and take her with but she won't go. We were together for almost 2 years and were engaged,and right after we broke up he started sleeping with other women and hasn't been alone since. It still hurts that the found someone so quickly. I wish it wouldn't. I am still trying to work on myself before I date and people say I should have moved on by now. I thought I did. But haven't. Any words of wisdom would be great!

Wildcat21 · Aug 30, 2005, 03:15 PM

This is a tough one.

I have written a lot about win-back here at a another post:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=11765

Also, in your situation - I HIGHLY advise you go to this website and read EVERY free article: www.lovetactics.com

I am wondering if this more 'Wanting what you can't have' AND lonely and maybe a little jealous? There are reason you broke - some one too needy-clingy - maybe some you or him did that repulsed each other?? Some one took the other for granted?? Loss of respect and trust??

Who broke up with whom?

4coley · Aug 30, 2005, 03:27 PM

He broke up with me. I got pregnant and did have the option of aborting the baby. He hated that was an option. He broke up with me and then started sleeping with randoms, but the same time said he still loved me. Yeah, that makes sense. I lost the baby and he still continued his lifestyle, mind you we were still living together. When we moved out, we were still friends, he was still seeing girls and saying he loved me and I was in his heart. He got a girlfriend and she told him he needed to stop talking to me. That is what he did.

Wildcat21 · Aug 31, 2005, 09:43 AM

I'd be careful here. It seems like he is not done playing around.

Take it slow. Contact him, but don't be too available to him. See where it goes. BE caucious though - it sounds like he already hurt you a couple times.

Also - think about the bad things - do you really want to go through that again?

Has he changed? Have you changed? (hopefully both for the better)

4coley · Aug 31, 2005, 09:57 AM

I am not allowed to contact him. (his girlfriend) I have written him letters, but I really don't think they do anything except for the one I gave him and he cried when he read it. He is not still playing around. He has been wit this girl for 6 months and has asked her to move to Cali but she won't. That is what makes this so hard. I know somewhere he still has feelings for me, but he won't admit it.
He hasn't changed at all. If anything he went backwards and yes I do not want to be with someone like that, but when he was with me, he was a totally different person. Maybe who he is now is who he really is and I just never knew it.

Wildcat21 · Aug 31, 2005, 10:17 AM

"Maybe who he is now is who he really is and I just never knew it."

Happens a lot - love is blind.

This happened to me more than once with woman.

I don't think it matters what the other woman says. I know s he did it to make the relationship work - it's important. Do you have his cell #?

Would you move to California with him?

The other woman sounds controlling - not willing to move etc.