[Jac]

Almost a year ago I found that my wife had an e-mail romance with her high school boyfriend and was planning to visit him. I confronted her and she admitted it. We were on a brink of divorce. But we found strength to gradually rebuild our marriage which was falling apart at that time. Now things are gradually back to normal, except that she is not willing to have any kind of intimacy. That's continuing for almost a year. I am at a loss and can't understand her. Is she still dreaming about her former boyfriend? Does she have anyone else? Is she going to divorce? Does she hate me or what? What is really going on?

[NeedHondaHelp]

It sounds like you both need it. If she's withholding intimacy from you, she MIGHT be thinking about (still emailing?) her old b/f. That doesn't sound good. I'm a female, and I have friends that use that (wrongly) as a ploy if their husbands/b/f's have done something wrong. I don't agree w/ that at all. It's not fair to the significant other's, but something is def. on her mind, and only a counsellor can help you figure it out. If she refuses to go, I suggest YOU go and get yourself esteem back up to figure out if you even want to stay in that marriage. Going to a counselor is not a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of courage that you want to better your life. Hope this helps, and best of luck.

[shenda]

One of the most difficult thing for a man to do... relate to the mind of a woman. We truly do not expect you too, you are not able; however, you are able to constrain your sexual energy and transfer it to emotional romance. Romance your wife, again without the pressure of sexual expectation. Help her submit to you willingly. Women have an innate desire for their husband's which can not be denied; therefore, you must condition yourself to hear her, to provide the security she has need of. Somewhere along the way, she lost your attention, affection, and that special way of relating. Believe it or not... Life will always meet you at your point of earnest expectation. She needs to be valued by you once again. She must know that you see her beyond a piece of... Emotional romance equates to reaching into your wife to help her rediscover the creative side of herself. If you can help encourage her in the area of her passion with patience, this rediscovered energy will also manifest sexually. Do you know her passion? Help her, this will help you. Remain faithful, energy is not consumed, it is transferred. Reintroduce her to her passion, support her and prepare yourself, be ready; make certain that you deny her not. She has a lot of good stuff to release that will keep you smiling, it may even cause you to sing. It is frustrating to think that the one you adore has lost interest, she has not, this you know. She has just closed herself from you. Set the atmosphere... don't hold back. Open yourself to her again, one of you has to do it, it truly matters not who, what matters is that an open atmosphere is re-established, protected, maintained and sustained. Before approaching your wife, think on that which you did to get her, revisit that place and gradually supercharge it... your geniune openness will cause her to think on her actions, which shall manifest the desired change. Remain confident in the love you both share. Do not be afraid to stand naked before your wife (no pretense, let her into your heart, express yourself purely) you have nothing to loose, but ALL to gain.

[Jac]

One fortune teller told me our stars did not match well from the very beginning, but it went unnoticed for years, and that accumulated over years, suddenly erupting.

Understanding women is actually most difficult thing in the world. Nothing can be more mysterious than woman in love or hate.

Any kind of romance is impossible. She now does not even allow touching her hand (and going out together is strictly no-no). After each misunderstanding we talk about divorce, only kids somehow manage to hold us together. Sometimes she slightly warms up, but it does not continue for long. Soon or later I become frustrated, that there is no real progress.. and we have another argument..