[NYSHOESLUVA]

:rolleyes: Hi My Name is Christine,I have a boyfriend and we were together since feb.18th of this year 07.the thing is I am so happy with this guy,he is a great man but I have this problem.He lives with his grandmother and knowing that his ex girlfriend was with him for 4 years but now that they are'nt together,she still lives there with him and his grandmother (that is a problem with me!)i told my boyfriend that he has to get rid of her but he keeps saying (I know I know I will,I have to talk to my grandmother about getting rid of my ex)his grandmother told my boyfriend's ex that she can stay there until she gets on her feet but it's been 6mons and she still has'nt even looked for a job or a place to move in to,I called her myself and told her that this isn't right but she got nasty with me.. I know my boyfriend wants her out but I don't think he is trying hard enough to get her out(he works a lot,he only goes home to sleep since he works crazy hours).am I not making myself clear to him?I even got in a argument with him saying he needs to do something about this,what should I do?should I back off about her living there and just continue my relationship with him? :rolleyes:

[GlindaofOz]

He needs to cowboy up. Clearly the choice is not his whether the ex stays there since its his grandmothers place but what is stopping him from leaving?

The ex is probably eating it up that its causing problems in his new relationship which may be why she's not trying to leave.

It's up to you what you want to do. But if its causing problems you may tell him look I care about you and enjoy our relationship but your ex is still living with you whether you want it or not and I will not continue to date you while she is living at your grandmothers. Call me when she moves out.

[NYSHOESLUVA]

The reason why he can't leave yet is because he is working to hard at this job but this job is going out of business slowly and he is trying to go back to his other job which is better pay,he told me after he gets things going with this other job that he will get his own place or get a house and move me in.I know I might be over reaction but I just can't stand another minute that she is there,look what if he moves out and I move with him and we might want to visit his grandmother right,she is his grandmother lol but I don't even feel like I would be able to visit her at all since his ex still lives there.I know she won't live there forever but what if I want to visit her now lol can't even do that because that one is there.so

[NYSHOESLUVA]

and thank you for responding my questions =)

[GlindaofOz]

Hmm. Its just a really weird situation. If I were you I would be quite uncomfortable with the whole thing so I think your feelings are pretty valid.

He needs to make this something important. It seems as if he is going 90 miles an hour and is having a hard time slowing down. I would tell him that this is very important to you and you wish that he would handle it. This is really weird and unhealthy that an ex still lives with him and like I said she is probably happy to break the two of you up. All you can do is keep talking to him about it. Not nagging or beating a dead horse but I would just try to explain how uncomfortable it is for you

[NYSHOESLUVA]

That's great that you said that because lastnight I talked to him about this and I told him how uncomfortable this is to me and he seems to understand and told me that he will try to do what it takes to get her out of here,I ask him isn't this relationship important to you?he says yea and I know he doesn't want to lose me because I've ask him if he wants me to back off him and right away shouts NO please don't do this..

[nicespringgirl]

Does his ex pay for the place? Was there a contract of renting?
How old he is?

[NYSHOESLUVA]

No she doesn't pay for anything at all,she just lives there for free.she goes out and sometimes stays out all night and she leaves her mess around..

[NYSHOESLUVA]

Anymore advice from anyone?

[GlindaofOz]

Has anything changed since the last post?
EDIT

Any updates for us?

[NYSHOESLUVA]

NO nothing changed,I talked to him here and there about it but he still says (I love you and in due time she will leave,just now she is going on interviews and waiting for calls to see if she got any jobs)i know he loves me and I also know he is a kind hearted man and wouldn't want to put anyone in danger by throwing them out,if he would throw her out and knowing she has no where to go there 4 she will be in the street so he feels that if he does that he would feel like he is responsible for anything that happens.I told him OK but she's better find something fast and get out because I'm on the border line with this and he says the same thing please don't leave me please bear with it and it will be taking care of sooner or later..

[NYSHOESLUVA]

Well my boyfriend finally told his ex girlfriend she has to leave,she said she is planing on to leave but needs to find a job first.. I told my boyfriend he should change the locks and that's it and don't let her back in ever again! I also told him I thought he would have change the lock and use his right mind,told him I didn't think I had to fight for his ex to leave and what the hell is wrong with him.he feels bad and that's why he is going to get her out and this time mean it before I go do it myself..