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barcelona · Aug 15, 2007, 04:00 AM

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months. We recently went on holiday and when we returned then I went away shortly after with one of my girlfriends. When I returned he dumped me. I had been back a week and he we had not seen each other and felt he was not too keen. We finally arranged a date but he didn't come across as very keen so I cancelled the date and explained why. He called me up the following day and dumped me and said it was because we weren't compatible and he hadn't dealt with a difficult relationship about 10 years ago which I knew about.

I feel devastated because he said he didn't love me anymore but only recently he told me he did. He also said he couldn't commit to anyone. We had contacted each other while I was away but I didn't think this was going to happen. We talked for hours on the day he ended it but I just could not get through to him. He said we should have a break. He told me he has done this sevearl times before. Following the split he texted and emailed me to see if I was okay. How could I be okay?? He told me he had commitment issues and was going to see someone about it to get help. I have been in contact with him via text and email but have stopped now. I said I would leave it to him to get in touch now. What should I do? I miss him and still love him very much.

SAB123 · Aug 15, 2007, 12:40 PM

I would leave him alone and let him figure out what he wants. In the mean time I would move on without him. He obvisouly does not love you they way you love him. I would heal and find someone who can love you as much as you would love him.

Lavina · Aug 15, 2007, 12:53 PM

Sorry to hear about what's been happening in your life. I do agree with Sab, that you should move on without him. If he did love you as much as you did, he wouldn't have dumped you, nor tell you that he did not love you. You are doing the right thing with stopping the contact. If he did want you he would have been in contact with you. It's tough on you now, but time does heal.

Panayiote · Aug 21, 2007, 11:51 PM

I say follow your heart and put your mind behind it. If you love him and miss him as you as tell him and say I'll give you a another IF he changes and he must be faithfull towards you. If he loves you and talks you for hours and say hey lets try again. Don't be afraid to try again because Who get everything the first tim?? We learn from our mistakes. Trust me I know. I've got a story similar to yours. Yes I did screw up, but my heart still has in it. Anyway I'll post mine soon read it tell me what you think.

Cheer up HE'LL REALIZE VERY VERY SOON WHAT HE MISSING OUT ON. Trust me. He'll be asking soon to lets try again.

rol · Aug 22, 2007, 01:20 AM

Realise it is over and move on as best as you can. Stop all contact with him. Nothing is going to make any difference.
Be happy he realises now he has commitment issues and is going to get help for it.
Read the book 'hes scared she's scared' to find out your role in choosing a commitment phobic man.

mckenzie134 · Aug 22, 2007, 04:39 AM

Ues move ahead

talaniman · Aug 22, 2007, 07:32 AM

He is not ready for what you wants, so move on and give him plenty of time and space, to deal with his commitment issues.

GlindaofOz · Aug 22, 2007, 07:51 AM

His reasons for leaving sound kind of bull to me. He isn't over a relationship that ended 10 ears ago? Darling , he sounds like a commitment-phobe. Thank your lucky stars you got to see this now and move on and find a new guy who will love you the way you need to be loved.