[chek101]

Chek...you are wonderful....and special. I just love your outlook. Have fun with the bike, looks like a good ride anytime!

Start,
Thank you for your caring words. That's really all it's about, isn't it? Caring for and about each other. I have always believed in that. Other than on this board and on September 11th (I'm a New Yorker), I haven't seen much of that being passed around. I have always helped people, AND animals. But honestly, I noticed every time I do, I really do get punished for it. Not that it'll stop me from doing it, because it won't. It's my nature, and that's not going to change.

[chek101]

They may never change but you have!! You are free from that abuse. THat is a blessing in and of itself. I think the hardships you encounter have taken their toll on you, your spirit and your body. Do not think that your body wasn't trying to give you a message, it was. Life is short, we never know when our last day is. Maybe one day your kids will recognize what kind of mother they really have... I will pray for that.

Shattered,
Yes, they have. You sound like a kindred spirit... as one who has suffered soul wrenching hardships as well, and for that I am sorry. It further makes me appreciate all that you have said, and learned. I just don't think there is much about my life that I can do anything more with, that will make me feel like I did anything worth doing. I feel like my whole life is a complete waste and no matter how I look and look, I just don't see the space I occupy as being of any significance, nor will it be missed should it blink out.

I'm not sure what is going on with me, I only know I feel this deep, deep sadness inside, and it's just not about ME and what's going on in my life, it's also about the things I see going on outside my life... in the world. It seems mankind hasn't learned a thing other than to justify their malevolent actions more strategically with even greater lies.
Greed rules: America is the land of the Greedy, the home of the free -ly taken, and I am sorry to say I don't see the majesty in our flag anymore.
Nobody fought harder than me for our veterans. I am the reason why Audie Murphy finally got a stamp. Took seven years of fighting for me to get it (shame on you America), but I got it done! Imagine having to fight 7 yrs to get this country's most decorated soldier of WWII, a stamp? Meanwhile there's stamps of flowers, movie stars and A-Bombs.

I don't know, I seem to be losing patients with people. Every time I hear an ACTOR got voted into a position of extreme power (Reagan and The Terminator) I worry about what is to become of us. Well I know what's becoming of us, we're becoming sheep led by a wolf. I worry about the downgrade of what USED to be a great nation (no longer perceived that way by many countries now, you know). What does that matter? The nation isn't going anywhere... WE ARE! ALONG WITH OUR FREEDOMS!

That's just one of the flies in the soup; I'm afraid of how all this is affecting our children. Greed and family don't go together because Greed is a solitude creature and unfortunately it is all that our leaders are teaching our children. Yes, I know, we are after all Capitalists. Money people. No more "Hallowed be thy name" in school. The division begun. Sit-down dinners almost non-existent, fly-bys are in... and it's the sit-downs that are so vastly important. The dinner table is sort've like the United Nations... where we greet each other, mend the wounds we put upon each other, heal together, and strengthen bonds. Where it is absent, so absent is unity.
You don't see the disintegration of family? Why would my kids be the only ones to escape its "separatists" undertow when so many others succumbed to it? I don't hold out hope for them, or them with me. Today, this is what it is. Now is when a solid "belief" system, ANY belief system, would help out greatly. I don't have that. All I have is my stubborn, eyes-wide-open doggedness, and an understanding that moments are precious, and all I can do is try to make all my moments, magnificent.

[ordinaryguy]

Hi Chek. I'd just like to say, You da bomb, gal! A badassed 'lectric triker mama! Who loves to build big old sculptures out of wood, no less. I'm really sorry about what happened to the T-rex. I'd have loved to see her.

On a more somber note, yeah, life is full of disappointments large and small. But I look at all of them as creative tests. If we can't make something positive out of them, we have to settle for mediocrity. Some can do it, some can't, and some would rather die than fail at it. I salute your pluck, and I love your work. Carry on, and don't waste your time worrying about the purpose of life. You've got more important things to do.

[ordinaryguy]

Now is when a solid "belief" system, ANY belief system, would help out greatly. I don't have that. All I have is my stubborn, eyes-wide-open doggedness, and an understanding that moments are precious, and all I can do is try to make all my moments, magnificent.

Belief systems are way over-rated if you ask me. I like your approach and I think it will get you farther than any belief system. You've already learned what belief systems (at their best) have to teach--moments are precious so make them magnificent. You go, girl!

[askahealer]

My purpose is to own the reality I create and co-create with others, to walk my path with as impeccability and integrity, and to assist those I can assist along the way.

[firmbeliever]

My purpose is to own the reality I create and co-create with others, to walk my path with as impeccability and integrity, and to assist those I can assist along the way.

Thank you for sharing your views.