[Wildcat21]

Happens ALL the time. Cool in the beginning - then we lose it. For some reason we have to be all nice and put woman way before us.

Got to learn this stuff. We aren't born with this knowledge.

Hey - driving by - maybe you have a stalker? Haha

[neospice]

I got a call from her today when she called with a private # and I picked up not knowing it was her... she asked why I changed my status to dating, and I told her I didn't want to talk about this now cause I was with a friend. She asks me what friend and I told her the name (some guy) and she's like well I just wanted to go on, I basically just cut it short and said I didn't want to talk about it now and said bye. She texts me about an hour later saying that if I'm seeing people she would like to know cause there is no point in trying to make herself better or make things work when I am out looking for other people and leading her to think that I am waiting for her, and that she wants to know what the deal is...

I didn't reply to that, not sure if I should or what... I want to be with her but I know if I say that its going to screw things up, so I got to still play the game lOl... Two weeks ago when I asked her to meet up with me for 1 hour to sit down and discuss our problems she didn't want that at all, that she wasn't ready to see me. Now why the hell does she care if Im dating someone else? She's the one that didn't want to work things out before when I did! She even told me that I don't have to wait around on her and if I wanted someone else she's not holding me back! Should I reply to her and say yeah I'm starting to date people and that she suggested it and that she should date others too or should I not say anything or say something different?

[fredg]

Hi,
Good message about finding someone else from everyone.
I do wish you the best, and good friends are all around... all one has to do is find them.
fredg

[Wildcat21]

"Two weeks ago when I asked her to meet up with me for 1 hour to sit down and discuss our problems she didn't want that at all" - I think because you put Pressure on her - woman don't want pressure.

WHEN you ask for clarification in a relationship - YOU ALWAYS SET THE RELATIONSHIP BACK!!

It looks like you're handling it right. She is coming to you. I'd wait a day or two and keep her guessing.

Woman HATE predictablity - SHOW you care going forward - DON'T SAY IT!!

This will take time - I think she cares for you. She just doesn't want a Wuss. You guys do need to sit down and talk - REMEMBER to listen!! Listen!!

But, for now - LESS IS MORE - give her less of yourself - don't be mean, but you're a busy guy. The less you give of yourself, the more she wants you.

[neospice]

Well she kept calling and stuff, and finally I answered on my work phone cause it rings a lot and I told her that I met people and that I was dating... she just hung up and then texts me. She says that she doesn't care I'm dating and that I should have told her and that there are guys out there that wanted to date her but she didn't do anything and now she's going to start calling them and move on. Then she went on this rant about how I'm this loser blah blah, lol... For someone who doesn't care, it seems like she's getting awfully mad about it saying that I'll get what I deserve lol... she's the one who didn't want to work things out, yet now she's getting all crazy!

[Wildcat21]

Wow. That's interesting - she is jealous.

Don't respond - lay low for a while. If you play this right you will get her back.

Not respond is the best way OR you could say - is that how you really feel?

More tests.

Remember - People want what they can't have - always.

[Wildcat21]

Here is the deal - don't ever cave into to her - don't let her manipulate her now. Never - bad for business.

She is testing you again. She needs a strong man. Don't take ANY of that crap from her ever. I think not responding says a lot to her. Or - Sending her a take saying - "Ok, bye" - that's it.

[kingping]

Haha what does she expect u to not date again?

[Wildcat21]

She expected him to sit around and thro a pitty party for himself. He did the right thing. Now she's pissed off that he is dating again.

She's mad because he is regaining all his power back. The same power she wants him to have bacause she doesn't want a Wuss.

It doesn't make sense - they are in the bizzaro world.

[kingping]

She expected him to sit around and thro a pitty party for himself. He did the right thing. Now she's pissed off that he is dating again.

She's mad because he is regaining all his power back. The same power she wants him to have bacause she doesn't want a Wuss.

It doesn't make sense - they are in the bizzaro world.

Makes sense now... it wouldn't have a few weeks ago

[Wildcat21]

It's good you've learned about this.

Here is a great site:

http://www.relationships.blog-city.com

You want to get deep and really learn. Read all the articles. Make sure to check out the downloads and brief case. Some nice suprises there.

[neospice]

I think the most important thing here is that she has realized now that I'm not going to wait around for her and that I'm moving on with my life. I've regained my personal power in that I don't need her anymore, even though I may WANT her. At the same time though, I don't know if she'll come running back to me wanting to get back with me because I think she is thinking that we are done for good now that I have started dating... She is really angry and trying to piss me off by saying some mean stuff. I just shrug it off, and say 'k bye'. For me I'm just happy because she doesn't have this grip on me where I was waiting around and trying to be mr good guy hoping she would say lets get back together. I would like to work things out but at the same time, if it doesn't happen, I am happy with it and can move on with my life so I'm not going to stress over it.

[Wildcat21]

" I think she is thinking that we are done for good now that I have started dating." - that should never bother you. And she WANTS you to think that. I really think that if you get in your head that you've moved and do what your doing NOW - and know what you know. They tend to come back.

She may realize that you're a good guy, don't take her sh--, don't stoop to her level and insult her back... that she WILL realize you're a guy she needs to hang around with.

[Wildcat21]

What t ever floats your boat pal. Just don't shove that Jesus crap down our throats if were not interested.

[Wildcat21]

Please go to the religion board. We don't need to be preached to. This is real world stuff. If some one needs religion they will find you there. What you posted was worthless - but I guess it makes you feel good.

[kingping]

Please go to the religion board. We don't need to be preached to. This is real world stuff. If some one needs religion they will find you there. What you posted was worthless - but I guess it makes you feel good.

Haha - well said

[neospice]

Well last text I got from her was yesterday telling me that she's so mad cause I didn't tell her I was seeing other people (but I wasn't, I just started) and that payback's a b*tch. (lol, crazy?) She thinks that I lead her on thinking that I was waiting for her to fix herself and that she wasn't seeing anyone and that I screwed it up now. I just said whatever, bye and that was that cause I didn't want to talk anymore.

Yes we were on a break and supposedly she wasn't seeing anyone and neither was I, but at the same time she didn't want to work things out when I asked her to. If she thinks I'm just going to sit and wait around for her to make up her mind if she wants to be with me foget that. I wouldn't have started dating if she actually had shown some effort to work things out and I'm not going to put my life on hold until she's ready, yet she tried to turn it around on me like I'm the bad guy now for not waiting on her to make up her mind.

[Wildcat21]

What were you supposed to do? WAIT? Wait for her to tell you SHE found someone else?

A good guy would Date. A guy comfortable with himself would. The 'Nice Guy' would wait - like the soft guy on the other thread who has been waiting 8 months. Yuck!

You know 'fix herself' most often means find another guy.

Something isn't right here. I truly think she was trying to make it with another guy she was attracted to and wanted you as an alternative if that didn't work out.

DO NOT insult her or play her games.

"I wouldn't have started dating if she actually had shown some effort to work things out and I'm not gonna put my life on hold until she's ready, yet she tried to turn it around on me like i'm the bad guy now for not waiting on her to make up her mind."

I actually don't say this very often - but did you tell her that? I wouldn't put in a way you show your feelings or that you care at this point - but she put you in this spot.

Show strength though. She wants you to be the old agreeable guy she can control - but she REALLY doesn't want that guy - tests.

She wants to see how you handle the be-atch.

[neospice]

Well, I had to text her today because every 2nd Friday she gets paid and she owes me money so I have to see how much she's giving me... anyway, we get into this thing and she calls me and we have this fight, and I kept hangin up cause I just want to be civil and not fight and she kept calling back and all I wanted is some of my money and she has to be stubborn about it... anyway, we finally end it and she texts me after saying something about getting my money, and that she's upset that I moved on not because I moved on but because 'i never said anything and it hurts because this whole time I was trying to make myself better you were talking to people and actually looking for someone else'. I told her I wasn't doing that but when I asked her to meet up and she didn't want to that I said forget it and was open to meeting girls and I did. She says 'you think a month is enough to move on after a year relationship? Have fun with your gfs cause it isn't going to last' I told her I'm not looking for lasting relationships, and I'm just having fun and that she's the one who made me move on. She says that she didn't want to be with me and she wanted to see if we could change while we took a break but I already moved on. I basically just repeated that I moved on because I wasn't waiting on anyone, and I'm just having fun now. She said that she didn't want to see me cause she needed to think things through first but that I jumped the gone and now its done. I just replied 'Ok' and that's it.

It seems that even though she says she hates me, she is really pissed that I moved on. She was also asking me things on the phone like, who I went out with on a certain night, and I said friends, and she was like WHO... thinking I was out with a girl when I wasn't. She even sometimes threatens me like if she sees me she's going to get so mad... lol, strange.

[Wildcat21]

Woman are so bizarre. This is a part I STILL don't get - they break with you, don't want to be with you, but still lead you on, and get pissed you date other people. WHY?

I wouldn't share much information going forward. They are all tests - give her funny answers.