Complicated Divorce... no lawyer
I have a very complicated divorce and of course I have no lawyer. I left my husband in the fall of 2001. I filed for divorce in January of 2002. We have three children and he has two more from a previous marriage. He was sent to Korea for 23 months. Both his lawyer and my lawyer said that I legally couldn't do anything until he returned from overseas. In the mean time he had a fiancé the whole time. I felt obligated to show my kids that I could not make a commitment, which in turn would get their hopes up that we would have a father figure in the household for them. My husband returned from Korea and I began to work with my lawyer again. Do not think that I did not push for my husband to divorce me while he was in Korea. I most certainly did. He refused to meet me half way on anything. We argued over lots of things. There was some abuse in the house before. The Army made him go through counseling for anger issues etc etc. The physical abuse didn't come from him, it came from his second born son. I was assured after they stated they had counseling etc that everything was OK and fine. To make a long story short. Going on information provided to me and being assured things were under control I needed to take care of a health issue and finish my education so I could actually get a decent paying job to provide for my kids. I didn't know what else to do so I sent my younger two children to live with him. My husband then told me I could only see them while he was there and I was not allowed to take them for weekends. He provided me with divorce papers that took away all of my rights. I refused to sign them. He also wouldn't let me call the children as often as I wanted to. When I did talk on the phone the children begged me to come and get them. I didn't feel like things were right. My children were not being treated very well at all to say the least. I went to my children's school to see them and it was cold outside. It had been in the high 30's that night and it was just barely becoming light outside and still very cold. My children had no coats on. My son had no underwear or socks or coat. They were both sick. I took them that day. I didn't bother to ask their father for permission.(there is no current custody order to prevent me from doing this) After that the things they were telling me shocked me to no end. My children were being threated, they were being spanked with a leather belt ( I do not spank my kids). They were being emotionally abused. The list is long. Now he has filed for divorce in a different state. I have to go there and I cannot leave this state. I can't afford to drive, or even take a bus, across country to go to court. I have never lived in this state and my children lived only 1.5 months in that state. I am being told if I do not show up I will default and he will gain custody of the children. I do not know what to do. Any suggestions? I can't afford a lawyer. I have no money. :confused:
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