[paraclete]

What a great idea but too radical for america, that bastion of personal freedom. This would make people get really serious about being married in the first place

[nicespringgirl]

Hey there, be smart here. U might get tons of "reddie"s by saying that. :d

I know what you mean;) (lower voice: but most of the members here are americans... be careful of your words!) :D :D

[stonewilder]

I wouldn't endorse a constitutional amendment to ban all divorces but I would endorse a constitutional amendment to make it much harder to get married.

[JoeCanada76]

I would not endorse an amendment to ban all divorces. It is just not right. To blame america decline of marriages breaking,No. There are many other things that I can think of that is causing a decline.

Another thing is that what right does anybody have to say that you have to remain married no matter what? What about abuse, what about infidelity, there are a few really good reasons for divorces and to ban them is just a crazy idea. It would put more children and families at risk to force this on somebody.

I also agree with stonewilder, that making it an amendment to make it much harder to get married I would actually endorse and agree with.

Joe

[nicespringgirl]

Learn from other countries, especially their laws against cheating on spouse.
It's illegal to have an intimating relationship while being married. It won't prevent all, but will def. reduce certain amount of divorce rate.

[iamgrowler]

Apparently there are places you can sue a spouse for adultry.

Good point.

Laws governing marriage vary from state to state, which, in a nutshell, means marriage isn't a Federal issue (Not that the FG is the least bit shy about trying to foist it's 'values' on the rest of us, of course).

[jillianleab]

Learn from other countries, especially their laws against cheating on spouse.
It's illegal to have an intimating relationship while beeing married. It won't prevent all, but will def. reduce certain amount of divorce rate.

You're assuming the primary cause of divorce is adultery. It's most often lack of communication or incompatibility (financial sexual, etc). If you improve communication in a relationship partners are less likely to fight over money, kids, and sex. Communication also improves your emotional bond, which makes one less likely to cheat. Placing a ban on divorce is just going to leave miserable people in miserable relationships; if you want to reduce the divorce rate, find ways to promote marital communication. Implementing a law on adultery also isn't going to "fix" divorce, people will continue to get divorced for other reasons. Besides, what is a proper punishment for someone who has an affair? Jail time? Sure, because our prisons aren't crowded enough and we really need to start putting away non-violent offenders. A fine? Some people might think it's worth a $5000 fine to have an emotionally and physically satisfying relationship. Lawsuits? Our courts are backed up with all kids of silly lawsuits (some guy is currently suing McDonald's for $10 million because they put cheese on his quarter pounder) and suing people for adultery is just going to waste time and resources.

I also don't think it should be harder to get married (who decides a couple is "ready"? What do you do to make it "harder"?), I think we should educate our children (and adults) that marriage is a serious commitment and is not something to be taken lightly. Make people aware of how much work it is, and that divorce isn't the answer if you have a fight. If you aren't 100% sure when you walk down the aisle, don't walk down it. I DO think that in some instances it should be more difficult to get divorced (domestic abuse not included). I think in some cases this would drive people to try and work out their problems instead of jumping right into divorce.

[nicespringgirl]

It's not the primary cause I agree.
But it works very well in reducing divorce rate in other countries... the things you talked about are very difficult to operate in the US. This one is simple and does work to certain extent.
The penalty is "jail time". Cruel is it? But it works.
What else do you suggest? I mean real method.

[NowWhat]

This is a very interesting question. Although, I would never agree to a ban of divorce. Some of the laws that we have here a little backwards.

When a "much in love" couple goes to get a marriage license - they pay their money and get a piece of paper.
When a hunter goes to get a hunting license - there are classes and test to be taken before he can get that license.

Should there be classes to get a marriage license? It probably wouldn't change the mind of someone in love - because love is blind right? But, should there be something?

When you get a divorce and children are involved (in some states) you have to take a parenting class before the divorce is granted. Isn't that backwards? Shouldn't you learn how to be a parent BEFORE you become one? Or get some sort of tips to prepare you? Like before you leave the hospital? I mean, I think the parenting classes at the time of the divorce are a good thing because they will teach you on how to behave now that mommy and daddy aren't together - but what about before then?

I just think some things are so backwards. I wanted to take my daughter fishing this weekend. Just drop a line in the water and hope for the best - I was informed that because I don't have a license to do so, I would get a ticket. WHAT? I just want to take my kid out and have some quality family time. But that is licensed as well.

There are so many things that can be done before we go banning divorce. Why not do some preventative maintenance?

Just my thoughts. :)

[tomder55]

Here is my thought . I have resisted posting on this thread to date because the hypothetical is absurd.

Marriages in the US have a contractual presumption and for most a religious one. Catholics like me go to pre-cana instructions where presumably we learn what the church expects from a successful marriage.

The contractual part of marriage is a state issue. I doubt if many people read their license ,and I am pretty sure that the issues NowWhat and others have raised are not stipulated in the contract . They should be. Divorces represent breach of contract by one or both of the parties.

[nicespringgirl]

Some self help books will show us how to avoid these costly errors, take steps where necessary and set us off in the right direction in marriage. We will discover there really is a light at the end of the tunnel! But to read those books is still an individual choice, not everyone has to follow and even if they do read it, doesn't necessarily prevent them from divorcing.
I still encourage people to read those books, better ourselves everyday.:)

[jillianleab]

it's not the primary cause I agree.
But it works very well in reducing divorce rate in other countries...the things you talked about are very difficult to operate in the US. This one is simple and does work to certain extent.
The penalty is "jail time". Cruel is it? But it works.
what else do you suggest? I mean real method.

Sorry, I don't see how it reduces the divorce rate. If you can still get divorced for any other reason under the sun, what difference does it make if adultery is illegal? It just means people will get divorced BEFORE they cheat, instead of after. Remember, correlation does not always equal causation. I think lower divorce rates in other countries can be attributed to other cultures who place more value on marriage, and who frown upon divorce. If you have a society which doesn't think divorce is an acceptable option when you have a problem, less people are going to turn to that direction. In the US we almost glorify divorce; there's a program E! Put together of the top 20 (or whatever number) most quick Hollywood marriages; this shows young people (their target audience) divorce is an acceptable alternative and the easy way out. It also presents it in a humourous light, so you are less likey to think it's as serious as it is. If we stop telling people when they get married "Well, if it doesn't work out, you can always get divorced..." maybe we'd see a reduction in the divorce rate.

Jail time for adultery isn't cruel, it's just plain stupid. Sorry, but there's no point in locking away nonviolent offenders when we have plenty of violent offenders out on the streets. I'd rather see the guy who robbed a 7-11 get locked up than some guy who got his winky whacked by another woman. A cheater doesn't belong in jail. My suggestion? Don't make it illegal, for one. If someone cheats on you, kick them to the curb. Marry someone you like and you love and work on your marriage every single day in order to make it last. If they still cheat, then it's divorce time.

[nicespringgirl]

Sorry, I don't see how it reduces the divorce rate. If you can still get divorced for any other reason under the sun, what difference does it make if adultery is illegal? It just means people will get divorced BEFORE they cheat, instead of after. Remember, correlation does not always equal causation. I think lower divorce rates in other countries can be attributed to other cultures who place more value on marriage, and who frown upon divorce. If you have a society which doesn't think divorce is an acceptable option when you have a problem, less people are going to turn to that direction. In the US we almost glorify divorce; there's a program E! put together of the top 20 (or whatever number) quickest Hollywood marriages; this shows young people (their target audience) divorce is an acceptable alternative and the easy way out. It also presents it in a humourous light, so you are less likey to think it's as serious as it is. If we stop telling people when they get married "Well, if it doesn't work out, you can always get divorced..." maybe we'd see a reduction in the divorce rate.

Jail time for adultery isn't cruel, it's just plain stupid. Sorry, but there's no point in locking away nonviolent offenders when we have plenty of violent offenders out on the streets. I'd rather see the guy who robbed a 7-11 get locked up than some guy who got his winky whacked by another woman. A cheater doesn't belong in jail. My suggestion? Don't make it illegal, for one. If someone cheats on you, kick them to the curb. Marry someone you like and you love and work on your marriage every single day in order to make it last. If they still cheat, then it's divorce time.

Of course people can still divorce, there are many issues like finance, communication, child education conflicts,etc. causing divorce.

I wish americans would value more on marriage. I believe most of americans marry the ones they like, but they change, things change, when things can't be controlled they lose patience. American are not willing to work on their marriage as much as they should.
It's still an individual choice, so if they are not willing to, who can help them out?
There should have some mandatory rules or whatever guide them and corret them.
I completely understand what you suggest, but not everyone is as persistent and smart as you are. U tell them to work on their marriege every single say, they won't listen!
I wish they would, but it's impossible.
America has a mixed culture background, not all are acting like this, so the best way is to learn from other countries' moral and values on marriage, and if that's not going to work well, then there should be a law(not banning divorce) to resolve it.

I came to this country b/c I want to learn more about the high tech and wonderful personality americans hold. As a new member of this country, I have learned so much wonderful things from you guys. I really hope americans would start looking at others' culture and value. We learn from each other, that's how the world operates.:)

[Synnen]

I don't think any other country out there has perfect morals that the US could learn from. Every country has its faults. You know that Iran has a REALLY low rate of divorce--because the woman is STONED to death if she thinks about leaving! Isn't THAT a good example to follow? It would lower the divorce rate!

I agree that the attitude that "we can just get a divorce if things don't work" is a bad attitude overall.

How's THIS suggestion for you, then?

Everyone can get a civil ceremony. It would work the same as the gay "marriages" that most states have. You would then be called Life Partners and be able to get some of the benefits of the married state--ability to see your partner when in the hospital, being the next of kin in a will, etc. These Partnerships could be dissolved by a divorce for pretty much any reason.

To be "Married" would require a religious ceremony. Each religion would be able to specify the requirements for marriage, whether that would be counseling, a weekend in a survival camp, each spending time with their future mother-in-law alone, whatever. These marriages would not be able to be dissolved by a divorce. You may be able to have it annulled (in cases of abuse, for example), but you would still be married in the eyes of the church until this happened.

Since the whole problem with divorce is that people have moral issues with it, this should fix it, right?

[nicespringgirl]

Cheating on spouse is def. a moral issue.

[Dark_crow]

cheating on spouse is def. a moral issue.

While it should be a legal issue.:)

[Synnen]

Okay... for those of you that want to make cheating on a spouse illegal:

Define cheating.

[Dark_crow]

Okay...for those of you that want to make cheating on a spouse illegal:

Define cheating.

Cheating… transitive verb to deceive or mislead somebody, especially for personal advantage… intransitive verb to have a sexual relationship with somebody other than a spouse or regular sexual partner

[jillianleab]

DC, what good does it do to make it a legal issue? What do you hope to accomplish by making it illegal? Speeding is illegal, and people do that all the time. Do you really think if adultery was illegal it would stop people from doing it?

[Dark_crow]

DC, what good does it do to make it a legal issue? What do you hope to accomplish by making it illegal? Speeding is illegal, and people do that all the time. Do you really think if adultery was illegal it would stop people from doing it?

With that logic we could do away with all laws…right?