[twentytwo]

Hi there, I too am still is in love with a married man. We've been seeing each other for + 2 years now, he says he's not happy in his marriage but he can't leave because she'll keep his child away from him.
I am sooo confused. I love him so.

[talaniman]

I really think he has fed you a sob story. All married men tell this story to there victims to get sex. Stop having sex with him, and he will leave and you will be free to meet a real man, who can show you love, and not just use sympathy to get what he wants. He is not a real man at all. Don't be confused just start to love yourself, and not fall for the oldest game in the book.

[natetheskate]

This is not a situation to mess with, marriage is a very serious issue. If your lover repects you and himself. There should be a commitment made. Everyone in this situation stands to be burnt. He, his wife, his child, and you. If you are serious take a step back while you still can. If the two of you were meant to be together than make the commitment, by doing this the two of you would provide a loving home for his child and no court of law can keep him from seeing his child.

[twentytwo]

Hi thanks for the replies. We have taken a break last year for about 5+months but ended up in each others arms again. We are very open and honest with each other, two weeks back his wife packed her bags but never ended up leaving (she doesn't know about us though) he says that his wife is also very unhappy in the marriage but because she wants to portray this happy family image she is sticking out. I also have stopped having sex with him, ever since we got back together, we haven't had sex or even kissed, thinking that I'll "test" him to see if he really loves me.
What else can I do? To me it looks like he really does want to be with me.

[miss_icanhelp]

It is not advisable to play with fire. You must stop seeing him at once. If he cannot give a commitment to his marriage, how sure are you that he can commit to you? These men are just seeking sexual pleasure and may soon hurt you in the process if he has had enough of you. While you still can, get out of it...

[Clough]

Why do you think that it's okay to be seeing a married man and having an affair with him? A person can be in love with any number of "special" people. And, this is very true. But, when two people make a commitment with each other and take the vows of matrimony, they are off limits to any sort of courtship. This is something that I deeply respect, and I think that most people would respect. They are off limits, even though I might be in love with them. I would look into your heart for the kind of example that you are setting for future generations to come. I think that the both of you are to be blamed for the situation. Why would you want to be involved in such a situation? To me, there is no confusion. Get out of the situation!

[Clough]

hi thanks for the replies. we have taken a break last year for about 5+months but ended up in each others arms again. we are very open and honest with each other, two weeks back his wife packed her bags but never ended up leaving (she doesn't know about us though) he says that his wife is also very unhappy in the marriage but because she wants to portray this happy family image she is sticking out. i also have stopped having sex with him, ever since we got back together, we haven't had sex or even kissed, thinking that i'll "test" him to see if he really loves me.
what else can i do? to me it looks like he really does wanna be with me.

You are trying to find someone who will agree with you that it's okay to be sleeping with someone else's husband. You will not find anyone on this site who will agree that it's okay to do that. You are not married to him, she is.

[talaniman]

to me it looks like he really does want to be with me.

You may not be in the sack right now but you can bet he is there with someone while he works on you and wears you down. Think about it, and listen to what he says. His wife has done everything but gotten a divorce and wants to keep appearances. So from his mouth they will be married for a while yet. No doubt someone is having sex with him, but you know it isn't you. Why are you so sure he is telling you the truth? Did he tell you he was married when he met you, and where was that?? Reality check. Do you go out in public?

[bushg]

I do not agree with you sneaking around with a married man, whether you are having sex with him or not. You are robbing yourself of freedom, the ability to show your affection, and the knowledge that you come first in someone's life. Is this what you want for yourself? I don't see how you can be proud of yourself while you are a cheater. Dear, that is the most important thing in life, is for us to be proud of the way we behave and to be able to hold our head up high! He says he stays because she will not let him see his kid if he leaves? Have you ever heard of visitation rights, this works for millions of divorced people, why would his case be any different? I am afraid he is feeding you a line , He stays because he wants to stay. If you continue cheating, then this is what you want. People do what they want to do regardless, of what type of excuses they come up with. Think about it.

[chuff]

he says he's not happy in his marriage

Well if you can't believe a guy that's cheating on his wife who can you believe. Oh yeah by the way, he's lying.

we have taken a break last year for about 5+months but ended up in each others arms again.

Besides his wife's arms which we already know he was in because... well there married and all, whose arm's do you think he was in while you were gone for 5 month?

we are very open and honest with each other,

Jeez, I wish you knew how much that made me laugh. Was he honest with the preacher when he said to death does he part?

two weeks back his wife packed her bags but never ended up leaving

Man I just had this great idea if I was married and cheating on my wife for 2 years with someone that is finally starting to ask questions. I would tell the mistress who I don't care for or respect on the side that my wife packed her bags but didn't leave thus giving my mistress some more false hope.

Does anyone think this would work?

Oh wait, I guess it did!

(she doesn't know about us though)

You mean to tell me that you are having an affair getting this woman's leftovers and she won't let you brag about it. WOW! I hate her.

he says that his wife is also very unhappy in the marriage but because she wants to portray this happy family image she is sticking out.

I wonder if she really wants to portray that or thinks that because her husband is lying (as hard as that might be for you to believe with his track record of honesty) to her and portray's himself as the perfect husband at home to the her and the child. Oh haven't forgot about the child have you, you know that little one whose time and money you take away because you two love each other so much.

i also have stopped having sex with him, ever since we got back together, we haven't had sex or even kissed, thinking that i'll "test" him to see if he really loves me.
what else can i do? to me it looks like he really does wanna be with me.

WOW! You want a guy that lies, cheats on his wife, doesn't care about his kid and has no problem having something on the side. Really? When you played dolls as a kid is that the perfect guy you dreamt of?

Well he certainly sounds like a winner to me. Hey if you had a daughter would you want her to date a guy just like him?

Well then why is he good enough for you?

[Dennis777]

Hello.

I have a good idea... Why not leave him alone and see if he will leave his wife for you or if he finds a new Lover.

Why do ladies always say the same thing... He Loves Me and I Love him but he can't leave the wife because of the kids. So I will sneak around and be his sex toy any time and or place he wants and after he is done doing what he wants with me he can go back to his wife and kids acting like nothing is wrong while the lady goes home alone and waits until he calls her for the next meeting.

LADIES wake up the guy is not going to leave his wife for you. Your letting him cheat on his wife and if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel. Face it if he is cheating with you he will be cheating on you.

Dennis777

[nicespringgirl]

How come there are so many ladies with married man, but not many gentlemen with married women?
You need to be rational and think in long term, be less selfish. How would you feel if you are his wife?
I tell you if I were his wife, I will sue you. There is no law like this in the US, but there is one in Asian countries.
If I can't sue you then I'll go to where you work and ask you in front of your coworkers.
How could you not feel embrassed?
U think you are smart, she doesn't know you are doing this with her husband. Be frankly, you are dumb. Go find you own man!

[talaniman]

Why not leave him alone and see if he will leave his wife for you or if he finds a new Lover.

What an interesting statement. Whether he goes back home, or gets with another it still works out great for the OP.

[Chery]

I LOVE THIS...

Chuff, you really did a great job taking this piece by piece.

After all my years hearing from mistresses and wives with cheating hubbies, it never ceases to amaze me that this kind of crap still goes on.

An each woman involved feels 'unique'.

What can we all say to these poor women that has not already been said a hundred times, over a hundred years?

I have a few questions that I usually ask:

Don't you think you are good enough to get a man of your own?
Is his male organ so different from others and does he do magic tricks with it?
Are you on some kind of drugs when you are with him?
Who in your life screwed with your mind so much that you feed on lies and enjoy lonely holidays.

Last, but not least: If you had a daughter, what would you advise?

Ladies you have two choices in this type of relationship. 1) dump him and find someone who is there for you - and just you. 2) continue wearing those rose-colored glasses and lie to yourself.

(A few years down the road) Is this the easiest solution for you?

[beenaroundtheblock]

Be smart girl, why would you want a man who has left his wife? To become his wife? So that in 5 to 10 years he can find another 22 year old and then leave you. Move on!

[chuff]

Is his male organ so different from others and does he do magic tricks with it?

I thought mine was the only one that did magic tricks?

[s_cianci]

Regardless of how much you may "love him", this is a recipe for disaster. He doesn't want to leave his marriage and it's not because of his child ; that's what custody and visitation laws are for. You're only going to keep banging your head against a brick wall as long as you stay with this man.

[blondiebaby007]

Hi there, I too am still is in love with a married man. We've been seeing each other for + 2 years now, he says he's not happy in his marriage but he can't leave because she'll keep his child away from him.
I am sooo confused. I love him so.

Any married man who cheats (has sex with another lady) is a cheater and will do the same if he is married to you as well.
You need to find out why you are so attracted to this married man, why you don't feel you deserve someone who will love you fully for who you are.. through counseling.
You deserve to be happy, not have to hide your love for someone, and the person who loves you will have no reason to hide their own feelings for you.