[Defensor_Vindex]

Hi,

Im a 15 yr old to be sophomore in hs, but it feels like I'll never get there. Ive been depressed for several years now, my parents divorced when I was young, and girls run all over me. Recently I've been blessed and cursed with having a wonderful girlfriend who ill name x, for the past 6 1/2 months, but I have multiple problems. Im not sure I love her any more, and it hurts because I don't want to make her feel like I just lost interest.
Meanwhile, my ex, girl y, has a new boyfriend, but I really miss her. We had a short but amazing relationship, not even close to sexual, but it felt like love. I could spend hours thinking about her even non sexually and feel a rush of feelings that I have craved ever since. They never came back. We broke up after she lost interest in me, which hurt like hell and sent me into a depression that lasted for over a year, it was a moderately long distance relationship, and probably unhealthy with all of the rapid shifts in my feelings (eg. Loving her, missing her, my parents, my friends, etc.) I feel like I want to be back with her, but there's no way to tell her because, a) she knows I missed her, b) we haven't talked in ages, and c) her new boyfriend is probably way better than me anyway.
So, I lived with it, I joined clubs, cooking classes, therapy, even the Civil Air Patrol, but I still feel torn. Now, in my second week of cooking classes, I met this new girl, z, and I feel that its almost time to admit to myself that I like her.
As is, I wish I could be with y more than anybody in the world, even though she was my first girlfriend. Im torn, and every night I shed some tears. I don't want to hurt my current girlfriend, but if I leave her for a wild goose hunt, I may regret it for a long time.
Bearing with what I've said, I need to know a course of action, preferably before school restarts and things get tenfold more complicated.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any advice

[p_rich91]

It sounds like you're still feeling a little crushed from girl y breaking up with you. The feelings of that first love or first crush are really amazing and sometimes it's really hard to get beyond that. But if she's not interested in a relationship with you (like you said, she has a new boyfriend and she's the one that ended it with you) then wasting time thinking about her and wanting to get back with her are only going to drive you crazy. It sounds like your current girlfriend is awesome and really cares about her and that you could learn to really like her too if you weren't spending so much time focusing on your dream of girl y that probably won't happen. Try focusing on your current girlfriend and letting go of your ex. You both deserve that much. Then see where this relationship goes. Eventually when you fall in love again (and you will) you will feel those same amazing feelings that you miss. But living in the past and hoping for something that's not going to happen will make you go crazy and miss out on a lot of good opportunities and other girls who care about you. Good luck.

[Defensor_Vindex]

My only problem is that my current girlfriend and I are not compatible.

[s_cianci]

Then why are you carrying on a girlfriend-type relationship with her? Are you sure you're really not compatible? I'd have to say that you and y are also not compatible, or you'd still be together. That said, you should forget all about y and concentrate on making new friends, including girl z and others.

[huno]

These things happen... people fall in and out of love all the time. Sucks, but it's how we humans operate.

First off, concerning y, if she isn't into you, you have to move on. You will, eventually, and it will take time and the feelings will go away gradually, but you should also try and work at doing more with your life besides obsessing over this girl. I know you've tried, but try harder.

Now, x: well, if you've lost interest, there's not a whole lot you can do. You should probably just dump her so SHE can begin the healing process, and so YOU can move on to girls you might like...

Finally, make a move on z. You really should try and date, it will help your self-esteem, your depression, and it should help alleviate this hold y has on you. Go for it.



--huno

P.S.: okay, so why these weird codenames? Are you into graphics programming, algebra, chromosomes or what?

[Defensor_Vindex]

gentics, yeah

x is beatrix
y is bianca
z is kimberly

anyhoo, well, kimberly has a boyfriend I just found out about (I just asked her out today):( , so I'm prretty much screwed for the school year. Thanks for the help though

[huno]

Screwed for the year? There are only three girls in your high school? Sucks to be you...

Find someone else. There has to be others you like...

[Defensor_Vindex]

A month of hanging out to dry might just prep me for year 2?