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kkross2016 · Aug 7, 2007, 02:35 PM

Hi
My story is long so I will try to keep it brief. I lost custody of my 2 sons in 2000. In Queens court. I moved to Pa in the middle of 2000 and was very ill. I approached my ex husband and his wife by phone and they REFUSED to let me see them. Every time I wanted to retain my lawyer I had serious health issues. Bi-polar, heartattack and skin cancer twice. Now in 2004 I find that my older son, at my Fathers wake enlisted in the Marines . Ive been paying child support but, I have 2 questions. 1. Can I just go down to Queens Ny and modify the child support myself? Ive been told that I will get all this money in cs back. Can someone tell me if I can?
Thanks
Asap:confused:

Mary Surette · Aug 7, 2007, 03:04 PM

Now, this is only my opinion not to be used as legal advice:

I'm not sure what the laws in your state are, but you would have to show that circumstances have changed i.e. your financial situation, but even then, I am not sure what the criteria is and I would think you would need to retain an attorney.

A drastic measure can also include termination of parental rights -- you might want to look that up on the net because it has a lot of ramifications. Terminating parental rights would affect your right as a parent but would eliminate child support. You can hire an attorney to draft up the papers.

I'm not sure you can get any cs back. I believe you would have to prove by the parent who is receiving the child support.

Good luck,
Mary

Mary Surette · Aug 7, 2007, 03:05 PM

You would have to prove fraud to get any money back.

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 02:17 AM

Originally Posted by kkross2016

Hi
My story is long so I will try to keep it breif. I lost custody of my 2 sons in 2000. In Queens court. I moved to Pa in the middle of 2000 and was very ill. I approached my ex husband and his wife by phone and they REFUSED to let me see them. Each and every time I wanted to retain my lawyer I had serious health issues. Bi-polar, heartattack and skin cancer twice. Now in 2004 I find that my older son, at my Fathers wake enlisted in the Marines . Ive been paying child support but, I have 2 questions. 1. Can I just go down to Queens Ny and modify the child support myself? Ive been told that I will get all this money in cs back. Can someone tell me if I can?
Thanks
asap:confused:

Of course you CANNOT get all this money in child support back!! You can go to Queens and to ask your CS to be modified at any time but it would not be done retroactive.

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 02:21 AM

Originally Posted by Mary Surette

You would have to prove fraud to get any money back.

Exactly!! She has to prove fraud and that means she has to prove that she is not the biological mother... Her husband cheated on her and he duped and cuckolded her .If she proves that she is NOT the mother /the children were born in wedlock but she has no genetical links to the children/she will get all CS back from the real mother!:D :D :D :D :D :D

kkross2016 · Aug 8, 2007, 03:50 AM

I am the biological mother. I was married to my ex husband when I gave birth to my 2 sons in question. I have legal papers in court that rise to 6 inches high. My ex and I have already had retained 3 lawyers each since our divorce. I am the first wife.
Kathy

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 03:52 AM

The child support is for children not for their parents.It is contrary law and public policy to get CS back unless if you can prove fraud...

kkross2016 · Aug 8, 2007, 03:56 AM

Exactly. My ex husband is collecting and spending the child support I am paying for my older son, and my older son is in the Marines since 2004! I want to give any money from 8/2004 that I paid into it to my son.
Kathy

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 03:59 AM

Someone told you a lie.You cannot get ALL THE MONEY back.You can file for modifying custody and child support if you can prove changing of circumstances.

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by kkross2016

Exactly. My ex husband is collecting and spending the child support I am paying for my older son, and my older son is in the Marines since 2004! I want to give any money from 8/2004 that I paid into it to my son.
Kathy

How old was your older son in 2004?What about the court child support order stated..

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:04 AM

If your older son was a cadet-you were still obligated to pay support for him.

kkross2016 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:08 AM

NY state law states that I pay child support till my 2 sons turns 21 or emancipated.. . period.

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:20 AM

21-in condition they are enrolled in a college,university or military school.
BTW I received support both from my mother and father when I was in a military training school.

kkross2016 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:23 AM

He was 18. The only reason and I have documentation of my illnesses, for the delay in going to court. I had a heartattack, skin cancer twice and other serious illnesses.

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:31 AM

Legally-look at your divorce decree not at the state law.Specify what was the status of your older son.Was he a marine cadet or was he an active military duty?
The third but not less important legal question: if a person has paid voluntary notwithstanding conditionals is he/she entitled to recoupment?

kkross2016 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:39 AM

He was 18. The last time I was in court with my ex was 2000. The ONLY reason and the only reason that I haven't been back in court was because of serious illnesses. Heartattack, skin cancer twice and another serious illness that I was in the hospital for along length of time. I am on disability, and have been since 2004. Every time I try to get on my feet with the working program I get sick. So, I cannot afford legal representation. I've tried pro-bono. Nothing. Back in 1990. I called for free legal advice. I went down to family court in jamaica ny and GOT an order of protection. (He was a policeofficer) I got it. I also filed myself custody, maintenance and support. And I got it. (He broke the ofp and I had him arrested he threatened me with his gun on duty. The Internal affairs with the captin of the local presinct decided to put him on desk duty. Take away his guns. Fined him $5,000 for being off his post. And to see a phychiatrist for 6 months.) My marriage was OK but, my divorce was abusive on my end.

GV70 · Aug 8, 2007, 04:48 AM

I understand... I have no a cold heart.But the legal truth is:One court order is valid till his term will expire or another court order replaces it.

kkross2016 · Aug 8, 2007, 05:11 AM

Thank You, Now like I previously stated. I know the judge will ask me why it took me so long to get back in court. If I show her/him documentation all the hospital stays and proof of my health I think they will understand.

Mary Surette · Aug 9, 2007, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by Mary Surette

Now, this is only my opinion not to be used as legal advice:

I'm not sure what the laws in your state are, but you would have to show that circumstances have changed ie your financial situation, but even then, I am not sure what the criteria is and I would think you would need to retain an attorney.

A drastic measure can also include termination of parental rights -- you might want to look that up on the net because it has alot of ramifications. Terminating parental rights would affect your right as a parent but would eliminate child support. You can hire an attorney to draft up the papers.

I'm not sure you can get any cs back. I believe you would have to prove by the parent who is receiving the child support.

Good luck,
Mary

I had a comment by someone who noted that termination cannot cut out CS. It can. I've done it. Check the state and work with your attorney general. The US has what we call "common law" but each state has its own set of adopted statutory law. Check your state law and your order --signed by a judge.
Mary, J.D.

kkross2016 · Aug 9, 2007, 08:37 PM

Mary,
Thank you for your reply. This is a wonderful site I really am glad I came across this. What I am doing is this. I already have called family court in Jamaica Queens Ny. I can modify it myself. I am in the process of getting official documents of all my hospital stays. (Just cause for my not going to court earlier.) The Child support collection Agency is sending me in detail all the child support I have paid since 2000. While I am there I am going to request that the judge subpena Verizon. Courts like it it saves time. Quoted from Verizon. (My father worked for the phone co in NY, God rest His Soul) Back when and I have exhausted the system was told at that time for every case heard, judges, court examiners, hearings. Lawyers appointed as judges,, it cost $500 at that time for each case heard, so they choose to settle it quickly. I'm also making copies of all my court appearances since 1990. Only gold sealing the last. My court papers are 6-12 inches in debth..
Thank you Kathy
GJHS