[HaRLoS]

Ok so, a friend of mine is dating this guy and they have been dating for only a month and have known each other for 7 years. He works out of town and when he is gone he is the sweetest guy ever towards her, but when he is in town he doesn't act like that, he doesn't rarely want to kiss her she feels like they are just friends, when they are just sitting there she has to make the move on him by grabbing his hands just to get him to hold her hand. He tells her that he does not want to have sex with her because it is just not appealing to him at this moment and it is weird, they have only made out 2 times since they have been dating and kissed maybe 10 times. What she wants to know is if this guy actually likes her or does he not like like public display of affection?

[happylady123]

Is this guy gay? It sounds like he might be "dating" her to cover something up. How many relationships has he had in the 7 years she has known him. I know a lot of guys and usually they want to have sex with their girlfriend, or at least kiss them. It sounds like he isn't really interested.

[serena6878]

If he said he loved her, he loved her.

I hope he truly loves her.

[tormanatort]

He likes her but he's embaressed in public.

[thadevilsadvocate]

Okay, so this guy works out of town and is so sweet to he while he is gone, but not when he is around her. Sounds like he has another agenda,. in other words, he is seeing someone else out of town, but he is so sweet to her because he wants to make sure he has a fallback. He has someone else out of town, that he sees when he is working, but he is so sweet to this girl so that this is never a thought in her mind. He is playing both of them. That way he has someone in either place.

But here is the catch... he has a conscience! This would explain his actions when he is around her, because the hamster in his head is running wild on the wheel. He doesn't show any sort of affection towards this girl, because he doesn't want people to know that they are involved. By him saying that he doesn't want to have sex with her because it is "just not appealing to him"... he is basically giving himself away. How can he have any honest feelings towards this girl, but not be attracted to the thought of engaging in sex or making love to her or with her... the closest that two human beings can ever be?
She deserves the love and affection that he is most likely promising and demonstrating to her when he is away... but she isn't getting it. On the off chance that he is not seeing someone else when he is out of town... she must still consider that she is not getting the love and affection that she needs/deserves.

She must decide if she is going to settle for less as well as as risk the fact that he is involved with someone else... or not settle for less and move on before things get worse.. . Sexual issues in a relationship can cause more problems than self checkouts lanes at Wal-Mart... so she must realize that if she is frustrated now it may only get worse if something doesn't change soon... but again, I think that he has something else going on, and she needs to be wary of that. I hope that I am wrong, but don't think I am too far off. Keep us posted and good luck to her!

[Gizzmo]

This behavior could be interprated in a few different ways. He could be socially uncomfortable with a relationship, and ebarrased about messing up in front of her friends or something to that effect. Another thing is, as mentioned above, he could be using the relationship as a cover-up relationship, possibly to hide that he is not quite sure about his sexual views yet. He could also just be the kind of guy that likes to be romantic, and cuddle and things like that in private and doesn't like to show a whole lot of effection in public. Hope this is some use to you.



-- Gizzmo

[HaRLoS]

But the thing is, he can't be seeing someone else... he works for a moving company and goes to different places whenever he leaves, last week he went to edmonton and this week he is going to winnipeg. They are alone at night and he still barley cuddles with her, she said she talked to him last night, but I have to wait for her to get off work before she can tell me what happened..

[s_cianci]

Either possibility is likely. It sounds like she's just someone he keeps company with when he's not out of town. He may not have any particular romantic interest or inclination. The best thing for your friend to do is to flat-out ask him how he feels. He'll probably be honest with her.

[HaRLoS]

I know he likes her, he has told her that he loves her, and no he is not gay, she thinks that the whole reason all of this is happening is cause his last relationship ended pretty rough they were together or 5 years and have 2 kids together and his ex will not even let him see the kids so I think he is just scared that if she ends up having a kid she will not let him see it as well just because of what his ex is putting him threw. Last she asked him about everything and he was a totally different guy towards her I think he realizes that if he does not show that he likes her he is going to end up losing her and I don't think that is what he wants.

[Haplo]

Just out of curiosity, does your friend know you're airing her personal business on a public website on the Internet? ;)

[HaRLoS]

Yes she does... I actually let her write the question and gave her my password so she can check it:)