I'm going to go against the grain here... (and give you a male point of view)
Originally Posted by
fia7891
I don't believe that , but anyway I find out she is also pregnant and thats the reason he was still dealing with her.
Why don't you believe him? If he had gotten his ex pregnant, then that is a considerable commitment. He may not be romantically involved with her anymore, but regardless of anything else that happens for the rest of his life, this is his child's mother and she will be a part of his life. Personally I would hope you would be happy that you have an honorable man who is willing to stand by the things that he has done (taking care of his child) rather than just ditching them both. It speaks to a strong character.
Originally Posted by
fia7891
He stills claims he never wanted to be back with her then and he stills doesn't now. He just wants to be there for his daughter. and he has
See previous comment. Why do you doubt?
Originally Posted by
fia7891
I don't want to seem selfish but the fact he has his daughter doesn't bother me at all it just the mother she is crazy. I don't like him to be around her I mean theres been times she called my phone asking me are we still together and refers to her self as his EX girlfriend.
You are being selfish. She may be crazy, but really it's not a lot of your business. You're being judgemental. And she is his ex-girlfriend. What else do you want her to call herself? Sounds to me like she's accurately stating her relationship to your guy and you're taking personally and being oversensitive to it. Basically you're creating shadows and leaping at them and then allowing that to intrude on your relationship.
Originally Posted by
fia7891
Yesterday I asked him would he ever consider going back to her for his daughters sake and he didn't say no instead he said not for a long long long time if ever.
he can't see is self with her anytime soon. I don't know if he sees it but that really hurt me it made me think is he just using me until he decides to go back to her. I told him thats how I felt and he says I over analyze things too much am I? I don't think so I love him But am I just setting myself up to be hurt a second time. PLEASE READ GIVE YOUR OPINIONS!!!
A blunder on his part, no doubt. But, please, please, please, for the love of french fries, look at what you asked him. It's so conditional and so loaded that any answer would paint him in a bad light. You didn't ask him if he still loved her or still desired her or still wanted to make a life with her, you asked him if he would
do it for his daughter.
Now, I don't have a daughter (someday I hope) but I would pretty much do anything within my power for her. I would cut off limbs, put myself in death's way, suffer through whatever I hated the most if it would somehow make her life better. You've asked him to compare his desires against his commitments and his children. Not a very nice question. Especially since you're using it against him as proof that he doesn't love you, which is a TERRIBLE way to do it.
As a man I see this situation as devious. I don't want you to misunderstand and think that I'm saying things are fine, but what I am saying is that I think you're looking at all of this entirely in a bad light and you're reinforcing it by creating situations that fuel this disposition.
Your man is standing by what he's done in the past and taking care of the life that he's created. You've expressed little to no trust with him. You haven't said why. You mentioned that you think he cheated but from what I've read, this is questionable at best. Maybe he didn't cheat at all (which is what he says) and was just trying to take care of his business.
If you want to be with him, I suggest you stop thinking so poorly of him and start giving him the benefit of the doubt and more importantly, start talking to him straight. Don't ask pointed questions and such. Tell him what you think is wrong and why. Have a conversation. And listen to him just as he should listen to you.