[steele55]

Do men like virgins or non-virgins? If so, what is it about virgins that guys like?

[rankrank55]

I think it just depends on the guy but I am a woman so what do I know ;)! I think the most captivating thing about a virgin is that no one else has ever been there; he gets to venture into a place that no man has ever truly been. They probably also get a sense of confidence knowing that she has no other man to compare the sex to. The bonus is that a virgin is going to be, for lack of better words, more "tight" and fresh. I am sure it differs from man to man.

[diya]

I think guys care a damn about virgin or non virgin... for that matter, irrespective to whether it's a girl or a guy, who cares when it comes to good sex... what say you guys?

[rankrank55]

I totally agree with yah diya!

[nicespringgirl]

If you keep your purity for your man, he should be appreciated!

[ordinaryguy]

I think virginity is way overrated. Good sex doesn't necessarily come naturally, in fact, my guess is that the first time is at least somewhat (often very) disappointing for most people. It certainly was for me and my first wife, who were both virgins when we were married at 22. It takes learning and practice and maybe a bit of luck to have really good, deeply satisfying sex. If you are a virgin, the best thing you can do to help make the first time better is to explore yourself by yourself so you know exactly what feels good and what doesn't, and don't be afraid to communicate this to your partner when the time comes. Men and women, especially young inexperienced ones, are usually very different in their sexual responses. There's a saying from the Tantric tradition (I think): "The nature of yang (male) is to be quick to be aroused and quick to be exhausted. The nature of yin (female) is to be slow to be aroused and slow to be satiated. The perfect balancing of yin and yang is for the yin to be fully aroused and completely satiated, while the yang is not completely exhausted." Needless to say this is an ideal that is not easily achieved.

[kp2171]

Most of the time, its young guys who are insecure about sexuality who worry about this. They feel threatened if there was someone first.

Outside of a deep religious conviction I think it's a bunch of stupid noise. I dated only one girl who was a virgin. If id have insisted all the rest were I would have missed out on some great relationships, including my fantastic marriage.

[nicespringgirl]

I might be alone under this post...
Some people don't think about morals, some do, doesn't necessarily have to relate to deep religious belief.
For me it's just a basic ethic to stay purity until marriage. There is cultrue difference too if you'd like to discuss about it.

[steele55]

Hmm, I noticed that as guys tend to get older, they want to settle down; therefore, they would prefer being with someone "pure" instead of with a girl who has a history. This leads me to another question. Why is it when a girl has sex she's labeled as a "whore" but when a guy has sex, it's understandable?

[nicespringgirl]

Thank you, I think you are right.
But... LOL, who says it's understandable?
Not for me!:D
I don't know what to call them but
I prefer a pure guy too!:)

[Haplo]

Hmm, I noticed that as guys tend to get older, they want to settle down; therefore, they would prefer being with someone "pure" instead of with a girl who has a history. This leads me to another question. Why is it when a girl has sex she's labeled as a "whore" but when a guy has sex, it's understandable?

These are very broad questions and simply way over-generalized. Sort of like asking, why do all women say men are pigs? They don't.

Not all men prefer virgins. I would almost agree that young men do, but that's not always true either. As young men, we hear that virgins are "tighter" and thus there's more sensation for the man (boy? ;)) while having sex. This is categorically untrue however. And any smart guy will figure this out. So it becomes a status issue. I think you'll find that guys that chase virgins are the same guys that chase supermodels. They want a fantasy and not reality (and chances are will get neither one)

In the same vein, women are not whores because they have a lot of sexual partners. It seems to be more socially acceptable for a male to be more promiscuous, but even that is starting to go away. Terms like whore and slut start popping up when a girl ends up sleeping with guys like the aforementioned fantasy chaser and something goes wrong.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are a lot of nice, normal guys out there who don't follow these patterns. But, it seems we always get labelled by the bad deeds of the bad guys. It's unfortunate.

[kp2171]

Some people don't equate sex to being without morals. You want to do it, fine. I don't need to stand on your pedestal.

I'm stating my opinion and now this post is becoming about your needing to be right and have the last answer? OK.

Lets agree to disagree and be done with it.

[nicespringgirl]

TO answer this question:

Depends on individuals and cultures, as far as I know, In Asia countries, guys prefer a virgin!

U will get different answers and views since it's an international website.

There is nothing wrong to have morals and be faithful.

[Synnen]

There's nothing wrong with being CHASTE and being faithful.

I sort of resent the idea that my morals are lacking because I've had more than one sex partner.

As far as being a virgin... I am a woman, and I've NEVER liked dating virgins. They don't know what the heck they're doing! I've noticed that most of the men I dated have the same feelings on the subject... but that may be because I never dated guys that would judge my whole character based on my sex life.

As it's been said... some guys care, some guys don't.

[nicespringgirl]

Comments on this post
GoldieMae disagrees: In Asian countries, prostitution is all over the place, and men are rarely if ever faithful.

I was saying in Asia countries, Men prefer to marry a virgin. Ask any Asian man. It's a tradition, men respect women who keep their purity until marriage.

Have you been to Asia countries? I mean 90% of the Asia countries? In Thai it's legal, but in most Asia countries people are still conservative and traditional. Prosititution happens everywhere. It's not encouraged and is illegal where I have lived.


To fall in love doesn't need to have sex. That's the hearts and spirits holding the relationship.

[kp2171]

There is nothing wrong to have morals and be faithful.

Again, morality has many ways of being defined. Some would state that countries that suppress women's rights and allow for sweatshop working conditions are without morals.

[nicespringgirl]

again, morality has many ways of being defined. some would state that countries that suppress womens rights and allow for sweatshop working conditions are without morals.

That's true. Traveling will help you learn more about different cultrues... when I was living in Asian countries, I heard Americans have sex on the street. Now I am in America, that's not what I see.

[Jiser]

I wouldn't care virgin or non virgin. Whichever means they are less experienced or more experienced.

[GoldieMae]

Comments on this post
GoldieMae disagrees: In Asian countries, prostitution is all over the place, and men are rarely if ever faithful.

I was saying in Asia countries, Men prefer to marry a virgin. Ask any Asian man. It's a tradition, men respect women who keep their purity til marriage.

Have u been to Asia countries? I mean 90% of the Asia countries? In Thai it's legal, but in most Asia countries ppl are still conservative and traditional. Prosititution happens everywhere. It's not encouraged and is illegal where I have lived.


To fall in love doesn't need to have sex. That's the hearts and spirits holding the relationship.

Absolutely. Otherwise I wouldn't have made the comment. Almost moved to Tokyo last month.

There's nothing like a culture (think Japan - touted as conservative and traditional) that puts the wife on some untouchable pedestal and expects her to be chaste and pure, while men fulfill their needs with a mistress. Having a "lesser wife" is still pretty common in Japan. And what's with the porn vending machines in the subway? And they have the lowest intra-marital sex rate in the world.

Hong Kong gentlemen's clubs are notorious. As are Hong Kong "gentlemen."

Thailand is a top "business" vacation spot for Singaporans. Taipei, Taiwan is another "business" vacation spot for Japanese.

I have no personal knowledge of marital relations and taboos in Korea or Vietnam, other than what I learned watching "Full Metal Jacket."

I'm not at all saying that being a virgin when one gets married isn't a commendable thing, but to pick Asia (generally speaking) as an example? You need to be a little more specific than just saying a region that takes up a good quarter sized land chunk of the world.

To the original poster, I am sorry. I don't want to hijack your thread. As for what men think about virgins, it depends on the man and the age of the woman.

Most people in the US are getting married later in life, and most do not expect that their significant other will be a virgin at 30. However, in high school, stay a virgin. Reputation is everything. In college, make the choice based on the person and on love. Many men will respect a woman who is intimate with someone she loved over a woman who has had multiple sexual relations with men she didn't love.

[Skell]

GoldieMae I think you are taking a little bit of a wide brush with your sweeping comments of Asian countries and culture. And in a way so did nicespringgirl with her comments.

And in actual fact in Thailand prostitution is illegal, has been since 1960, however it is not policed.

I think nicespringgirl was simply posting what her experiences with men and their opinions in the culture she grew up in. To disagree with her is uncalled for. Your culture is no more important or correct than hers. And remember Asia might be a "quarter sized chunk of the world" but it makes up half of its population. So there cultural beliefs are relevant to the discussion.

Virgins are glorified as much in western cultures as they are in any other from what I have seen growing up as a young male. TV shows, movies, magazines etc. love to spruik about someone being a virgin and the lucky man who will be her first.

I don't agree with it and to me personally it means nothing.

So to answer the OP. Most men from my culture don't expect women to be virgins. Not at all. But for some it has an appeal and sense of excitement about it that has been beat up by media / entertainment sources. The idea of virgins being pure blah blah has been around since biblical times and for some reasons it means something to some people. But not many!