[imsooconfused]

I am married for about 3 years to a wonderful man and I have 3 children that live with us from my previous marriage of 13 years. I started chatting online about 1 year ago at first it was just to have fun and meet new people I didn't use my real name and never gave any information about my life but I met this man that I have since fallen in love with. I am ready to leave my husband to have a life with this man but he don't really know who I am. Ahh please help me...

[turtlegirl]

You don't know who he is either. This is a stupid move. You have too much to lose. Cut off contact. Now.

Be well.

[imsooconfused]

Thanks for your reply but see I do know him. I have talked to all his family. I have met him before. I know what you are saying and I know I have a lot to lose. My husband is a very good man and very good to me but I don't love him. I am happy he loves me but the feelings are not mutual and have not been for a long time. My first marriage was not good my husband was very abusive so when I met my new husband I married him only because I knew he would be good to me and my children. Ah I kills me inside to know I would hurt him but I love this man I met and we are so natural together. This is the first time I have really loved someone and I fear if I let it go I will never feel love again. My family will not agree with me if I do this and this situation is more complicated than this because this man is not from this country so to be with him I would have to go back to the country he is from. Either choice I make here I lose I know this and also someone gets hurt. I hate that I ever started chatting. I hate that I was not truthful about my life with this man and I hate that now I am in love with him and might have to let him go. This whole situation makes me sick to my stomach everyday of my life.

[Wildcat21]

Why do woman do this? Why? They get all confused about guys

I'd go to consueling and straightne out your cirrent marriage.

For get this other man. You must have had feelings for your current husband at one time - learn to regain those.

You seem to shed men - why? Then you're just going to shed that guy.

[trulydiva]

But I would have to agree with everyone else. It is a bad idea. I would bet that in the long run you will be very sorry.

The only reason I would think that this would be a good idea is so that your "wonderful, loving, husband" could be set free and find someone who really loves him and would not cheat on him the way that you are doing now.

You really need to seek help from a qualified professional.

[Wildcat21]

Great point Dive, It does set that man free to find someone he loves - no question and find someone who won't cheat.

She does need to go see a therapist because it seems to keep happening.

[fredg]

Hi,
Go meet his man that you have come to "love" online. Talk with him, he may not even feel the same as you do.
You have to make a decision; either marry him, or forget about it, and stay married to your current husband.
You also need to talk with a professional marriage counselor; and I hope both you and your husband will go together. You need to also talk with your husband about this. The grass really isn't much greener on the other side of the fence; it just looks that way.
I also think you need help.
Best of luck,
fredg

[imsooconfused]

Thank you all of you for your replies... I am considering going to a therapist... and I agree that the man that I am married to deserves someone better than me that can show him the love that he has shown me since we have been together... I know the other man feels about me the same way I feel about him and I know either way I choose would be a good choice for me the only difference is that one way I love the man as much as he loves me... the only thing I disagreed with in your replies is that I do this often... I do not do this often... I was married for 8 years to my first husband and I would still be with him if his and my family did not intervene and tell me to leave him... he was not good to me or our children... I was alone for 2 years before I met my new husband and when I met him I think I was lonely and only looking for any time of companionship I could find and he was a wonderful person but no I did not love him then either... I really appreciate all of your comments and will seriously consider all you have told me... thank you

[sweety]

u need 2 leave the new man alone because your spoilin your marriage, u cnt ruin his life n leave your current husband, uve this far for nothing now you are going to create a whole new scene for sum one off the net? It doesn't sound right. No one will be happy, your kids will start hating u too if u keep messin up der life, stop finkin about yourself, fink about your kids n der future too. Its not just u who has to adjust to da changes, cos trust me dey will end up rebelling u if u keep affecting der lives with so many marriages n men, dey will hate demselves cos of u creating dem n keep moving dem from one father to another.