[Trouble321]

When my ex and I broke up, he insisted on maintaing a friendship. Since I usually do everything to please everyone else, I obliged. It was difficult and he seemed to be playing games. One day he would txt constantly and then I wouldn't hear from him for days. After a few weeks of this torture I decided to rip off the bandaid and deleted him without any explanations. I have read on here that the no contact rule can work immediately after a break up but I am wondering if I still have a chance at his returning?

[SAB123]

No Contact is not to make him return,it's for you to heal and move on. By contacting him or him contacting you it delays the healing process. Trust me when I tell you that, I contacted my ex 2 months after breakup and I went rite back to square one. But from the sound of things he is keeping you on back burner by doing that.

[CaptainRich]

You have to ask yourself, "Do I want this person in my life, at all?"
You didn't mention who broke this off...
I'm not a fan of "rules" for break-up. As humans, we want to be cared for and we want to give care in return. The old saying, "If you love something, let it go..." Well, I think sometimes that's just crap! What about: "Seperation makes the heart grow fonder?" More of the same. Throw out the rules and find out how you feel.

[gmspitali]

Can somebody please answer, I am going to go with the no contact rule, the reasons being I hope while she is alone and has time alone she can maybe start to feel like she misses me. Secondly, she specifically called me and told me she wants time. Every time I called she got annoyed. So I ask, how long is too long to wait for the no contact rule to come to effect before you ex either realizes she wants you back (maybe, possibly, who knows) or when is too long when you just have to realize she never wants to see or talk to you ever again (yes, probably, most likely). Should I wait for her to call me or should I wait a certain time and call her. Personally, although I will be tempted to call her I still think because I was the one dumped that she should call me. On the other hand based on her stubborn personality and a person who always wants to keep her dignity, I feel like she will never do it because she wants to show that she kept to her promise regardless of what she feels. Either way, the longer it takes the more likely it is she might do something with another guy and I don't want to get back with a girl who has moved to another guy to maybe later realize I was the one.

[Canada_Sweety]

Umm... NC shouldn't be used to make someone come back. NC should be for thinking about what's best. More importantly, y'all have already broken up so it would just awkward AND it would make you look like a huge jerk. And if you were "the one" he would more then likely realize it. Don't go NC to get him back. It'll just make you look bad in his eyes and he'll want less to do with you then she already does.

[Trouble321]

Okay just to clear things up here. I am a girl, and he was the one who wanted to break up. Not me. I tried to stay friends because that's what he wanted, but couldn't do it emtionally. I severed all ties. I don't know that I want him back... but was just curious if it had been too long since I took the first step (like 4 weeks) if there was any hope of him coming back.

[SAB123]

I know you're a girl and he broke up with you but no if he wants to come back he will at any time. First time my ex broke up I did not contact her once, she did eventually come back a little over 3 months later. But if he's not contacting you anymore he probably has moved on. But you did the rite thing by cutting him off.

[diya]

Every relationship is a two way traffic... and though No Contact is what I do not abide by without any proper communication... having said that, before anyone adopts NC, should be able to try to resolve things but if the other party is not interested, no matter what you try, whether, NC or no NC will not come to you. That is the ultimate truth.

[mckenzie134]

Just never speak again if he wants you back he will let you know and you can decide what you want. If he doesn't contact you it won't be becauise you stop contacting him it will be because he doesn't want you. It's that simple. And yes by not speaking to him he may miss you and believe he needs you. If you keep talking he will adventually meet someone else and you will be more heartbtoken. So say nothing go quiet and disappear till he says I miss you and want you and then you know where you stand. Anything you do apartfrom going silent will be a waste of time you have no reason to be a friend of his that will get you NO WHERE AT ALL trust me on that.

Stop taking at once and let him miss you give yourself a chance.

Its not too late do it now and please if he starts to messageor ring you must risk it tell him listen you wanted a break so have one! 1 Simple don't let him tell you break then contact you with anything less than I" I want you back i made a mistake"

[Trouble321]

Thank You Mckenzie,
That is the best advice and most straightforward answer I have received.
While talking I just seemed to be pushing him further and further away.
To help myself stick to the NC rule, I took a calendar and marked down the turning point days, 30, 60... etc. and for each day I log in the emotions I am feeling for those days. I hope that will help the healing, if I can see my progression.

[SAB123]

Trouble, I think that is a great idea I wish I would have done something like that. But you are taking the necessary step to get over him.

[s_cianci]

There might be a chance of his returning but do you really want him to? He put you through self-described "torture", supposedly in the interest of maintaining a "friendship", which you claim you went along with just to please him, because that's what you "usually do." If you feel that he was playing games, then he probably was. Who did the breaking up, you or he? If it was you, then why do you now want him back? If it was him, then why did he insist on continuing a "friendship"? Actually, I'd say good riddance. Be glad that you're free of this "torture" and move on.

[Freddrick]

No contact is hard, especially when you have children or real estate together. In Australia, the law does not allow you to be divorced before 12 months of separation. There is such a thing as limited contact, contact only when absolutely necessary, and business like statements. Don't allow yourself to be dragged back into the old conversations and arguments...

No or limited contact is about YOU, gaining your sanity back! I know this from personal experience.Its time to think, and gain perspective.

Are you just constantly thinking about all the good times(Idealization)? What about the bad times that you had together ? All the fights, cheating and mistrust etc etc. Is it time to move on? Or, do you really want this person back? Why?
Remember, there is also such a thing as boundaries, we ALLOW people to treat us the way they do... Set some boundaries around contact. Look after yourself! ( Statement by qualified Social Worker)

[gemstone77]

I have decided on the NC... my ex has had me dangeling for 4yrs... we did live together for 2 of them and things where OK... but looking back he never truly committed to me... and one day when I asked him for a little more he bolted! I was devastated and tried to work things out with him... he always keeps an open door for me to contact him sometimes he replys sometimes he doesn't (depending on if he's bored)so I've decide 4 yrs is too long to have waited for him to commit to me, he had his chance with me... and now I know the only way to move on in my life it to cut him out of it... its going to be hard... but I know deep deep down that even if he came back and we had another go it would be just the same... so I'm taking the easy route to happiness and looking out for me. Broken relationships are sometimes like broken glass, you can hurt yourself trying to fix it, or you can throw it away and get some new glasswear :)