[lotsoflove]

I just had my baby boy last month and my baby's father informed me last week that his current girlfriend is 4 months pregnant. I broke up with him while pregnant. I really didn't have a solid reason for doing so. I think it was the raging hormones. In the meantime, he went and got a girlfriend and I gave a man who had been chasing me for 3 years a chance because he was there for me. Now my baby's father is saying he wants to be back with me and he made a mistake by getting his current girlfriend pregnant. I really love my baby's father. I care about my current boyfriend, but I know that it took him so long to get me because I really didn't want to be romantically involved with him. He was just there when I needed him most. My baby daddy had to work a lot when I was pregnant and couldn't be there like I wanted, but it wasn't his fault. I told my current boyfriend my feelings and we are currently not together. My baby's father is saying that he doesn't want to leave his current girlfriend while she is pregnant, but he wants to be with me. He just doesn't know how to break the news to her. I know that she will be hurt, but if he really wants to be with me, I think he should tell her the truth instead of leading her on. On the other hand, he shouldn't have put himself in this situation in the first place. Is it worth trying to work things out with him or should I just move on?

[Fr_Chuck]

He is a dog, he wants to be with both of you, and has the "babies momma" mentality.

Unless he is going to leave the other girl he is not in love with you, but most likely wants to sleep there sometimes.

I would say you most likely got rid of the best man, one who was willing to be there for you.

[Ash123]

So sorry for all the chaos in your life.

Move on.
Sad, but I would say that will help you the most...

Get a good job. Good friends. Child Support. And a plan.

**One day he can visit his child and maybe even be a regular in your child's life
If he proves he has his life is together - once YOU have a firm base.
Right now he is probably just going to bring drama that will make you both crazy I think...

[SnaveLeber]

Honestly I wouldn't mess with a guy like that. If he can't get his priorities straight then he certainly isn't going to be able to help you lead a family. Plus the fact that he wants to be with you but won't leave the other girl yet is a bit of a red flag in itself also, don't you think?

[jrb252000]

Despite if he comes back to you he will always be attached to the other woman because he has a child with her. Leave him alone and move on. You are headed for heartache again if you let this guy keep playing you.

[talaniman]

Stay out of relationships for a while and make sure the babies daddy helps support this child, so you can get your life together and provide a loving, safe, healthy place for your child to grow in. Your relationship choices have your life in chaos and the only way to bring stability and order back is for you to focus on you and your childs' wellbeing.

[s_cianci]

You and your baby's father will always have a connection and your son is it. Whether things will ever work out romantically between the two of you is another issue altogether. But anyone who ever gets involved with you or your boyfriend's father will have to understand that you two will always have that bond. Likewise, your boyfriend and his current girlfriend will always be bonded by their child. It seems like both you and your ex move around quite often and quite fast. I think there are a lot of issues that you each need to address as individuals before you can consider any successful romantic possibilities.

[chuff]

Guess I'm on my own here

I broke up with him while pregnant.

I really didn't have a solid reason for doing so.

On the other hand, he shouldn't have put himself in this situation in the first place.

While he put himself in the situation of being the father to two young children he didn't ask to get dumped. He also didn't ask for you to change your mind and be inconsistent.

But forget about the two of you, you know who else didn't ask for this? Your child. Your child did not ask to be put in a situation where drama seems to be more important then common sense and stability. I think it's time you both grew up.

[klovesj110603]

First off don't stay with him just because you have a baby with him. If u 2 can't get along it will end up hurting the child in the long run. They know what goes on even if they are young they can tell when things aren't running smooth. He should have been more careful with the other girl. Don't settle and don't let him lead you on either. If he has the both of you at his beg and call he has you right where he wants you and he will probably hurt both of you in the long run. Truth is He now has two kids by two different girls and the sooner u 2 girls see he is a dog the sooner you can move on and make him pay for his mistakes. If he gave up on you just because you had a mood swing how will hw be when you have to work threw hard times in the future. Just my opinion and I hope I could help u

[GlindaofOz]

Once again Chuff is the piercing voice of reason. Awesome answer Chuff.

You need to focus on taking care of yourself and your child. You need to stay out of all this drama it is toxic and ridiculous. Take your support and let this guy be a daddy but move on. You let him go and now you want to disrupt his happiness? I don't think that's right at all. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?

[Haplo]

I 100% agree as well, Chuff. I don't see how the father 'put himself into this situation' when he was dumped, and it slightly annoys me that everyone is beating on him for it. He was dumped by his pregnant girl, which probably hurt him tremendously and so he went out and tried to move on. Now you want him back. You can blame the raging hormones if you want, and I do have sympathy for you and the situation, but blaming him is just a cop out. You instigated the course of actions that led you here.

What to do about it? Frankly, sadly, I think it's a bit out of control. Now the actions have involved another 2 people who will now be hurt and 1 person that already has been. (The new girlfriend, her baby, and the now-ex boyfriend). There's no clean way out of this one.

The only part from the 'bash-the-man' posts above that I actually agree with is:

I would say you most likely got rid of the best man, one who was willing to be there for you.

I feel bad for the man that chased you for 3 years. He had something genuine for you.

[Ash123]

THIS WHOLE SITUATION SEEMS CHAOTIC.

2 pregnancies, 4 people, lots of shifting moods. Addresses...
I really think that everyone should stand pat and get their lives together
Before shuffling the deck again. There are two kids coming into the world that may not
Have stable homes to live in. Whatever happens it should be for the long haul (single, together, married) or else... So, dig deep and TALK TO Each other even more than us and create stable homes...

[lotsoflove]

How am I disrupting his life when he is the one that wants me back?

[Ash123]

You are not disrupting his life per se. All lives are interrupted at this point.

But "wanting you back" may not solve all the chaos right now.
So, he jumps to you - then what? Would you all survive? He leaves his now-pregnant
Girlfriend? Is anyone married? Or formerly married? I think that would be good to come first... Since that is sort of not happening at this point - I think it's best to get your respective lives, bills, health, houses in order then evaluate if you are ready for what's next.

[Haplo]

How am I disrupting his life when he is the one that wants me back?

You made it pretty clear that you want him back too... so you're involved as well. Remember, you dumped him! He didn't dump you, of course he wants you back, he never wanted to lose you in the first place!

[talaniman]

If all of you put as much into raising the children, as you do with the sleeping arrangements, there should be a couple of happy children in the world.