[Ash123]

Hi,

So I am confused. I have a guy friend that I've had a crush on for a really long time. We were really close when we were younger and then we broke away for about 3 years. Recently he started talking to me again out of the blue and we became good friends again. He was popping up on me online every day almost and talking to me almost exclusivley in public. I started to wonder why he suddenly started being friendly again and if he maybe liked me. (I still liked him). So then his brother ( we will call him Fred) was hanging out with a friend and Fred told his friend he had a crush on me but it wouldn't work out because I liked his brother. His friend asked him how he knew and Fred said he came across his brother laughing at something on the computer and he asked what was so funny. His brother told him that he was laughing at me ( we were iming) because it was "so obvious that I liked him and it was adorable and so he kept talking to me to lead me on." I would like to clarify I am not sure how he arrived at that conclusion be cause HE was the one who started talking to me out of the blue. I never said a word to him and I never started any of those conversations except for once or twice when I needed to.

Anyways so Freds friend was rly upset and told his sister Gabbie who is my best friend. She in turn broke it to me. I of course was really upset because I felt humilated but what I couldn't figure out was why he had kept this up this long. We had been talking now straight since Dec and it was all him! My first instinct was to tell him exactly what I thought of him. But I can't say anything because Fred and his friend, not to mention Gabbie would all get busted for it. After I found out he told me on IM how he got accepted into a law school and I was pretty stiff and cold about it. He kinda deflated and I ended the conversation quickly. Later that week I got thrown with him in a group gathering and I tried to ignore him but he kept trying to get my attention and I kept crushing him with rude remarks or ignoring him. Nothing would deter him though he kept trying to talk to me and getting my attention. By the end of the night I was pretty friendly to him but watching myself. And we parted on good terms. But this week when I have been online he hasn't talked to me at all whereas he used to talk to me everyday. I am not sure what I think of his behavior. Was he just saying that to his brother to make him think he doesnt like me? Or was he actually being a jerk. I really do like him aside from this episode and would like to keep him as a friend even though i might have to avoid contact for awhile. I haven't been talking to or pursuing him but let him be. Do you have any thoughts because I am very confused. Thanks :)

I'd post this as a new thread...this is for break-up guide questions.

[tami1891]

What if we already did the I hate you text thing to leave a bad impression at first

[Ash123]

What if we already did the I hate you text thing to leave a bad impression at first

Wellllll... you both did?
I'd cool down for several months...

[artstar]

Update on my situation:

After weeks of putting off giving her her stuff back (legitimately because I was busy), she called me several times and said she wanted to pick them up. So I said OK.

We met downstairs of my apartment and that was that. Here you go. That's it. Bye. She calls me again a few minutes later and said she needed to come back because she forgot to give me something. So I said fine, come back and give it to me. She comes back, I take it and she asks how I was doing. I said good and asked how she was. She said good. Then she drove away.

I acted like I was in a hurry because I was. But there were things that she did that hinted strongly that she wanted to talk more but I refused. I also have a strong feeling that she wants to keep in touch with me. Maybe not to get back together, but at least to be friends.

To be completely honest, the past few weeks have actually been the happiest I've been in a long time. I have a lot of free time. I can focus on myself. I can focus on my career. I'm actually not so bothered about the whole break up thing anymore. I am free.

Now, one thing I'm scared of is her coming back and saying she wants to keep in touch. To be friends or whatever. At this point, I don't want anything to do with her. Maybe in the future, but absolutely not now. Never mind getting back with her. If we do get back together, it would take a lot of growing up on her part and I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Now I'm afraid that she'll start crying and trying to remind me of the good times to guilt me into keeping in touch with her. Any advice on how I can approach this if it does happen?

[eduinlove]

I think your doing everything correctly artstar. Seriously, I'm in the same shoes as you, in the sense that I'm not bothered by the break up anymore. I'm finally concentrating on the most important person in my world : ME! And it sounds like your getting back to what's important for you. I'm not familiar with your whole story (here's http://tiny.cc/story010410 if your interested ) Basically I would tell her that in a polite manner that your concentrating on yourself and your very busy with whatever your job entails. Plus, as much as you might be over her, what if she starts asking you for dating advice or worse tells you about the new guy she's dating. It's just to soon. It's clear that there is still tension between the two of you. If she pushes tell her to let it come naturally. If she forces you, you might resent her more.

I'm sorry if that was all a ramble. But I'm happy to say I can finally start giving back advice on this site. I was asking for so long and can now give back what I am learning.

Keep doing things to better yourself!

[clearlyconfused]

This guide is the best! I am already thinking possitively, and it has been over three weeks since I felt this good. Thank you!!

[Ash123]

Good, hang in there!
One day at a time...

[eduinlove]

So I have been on the steps now for about 2 months.
And I have been doing very well, finding out who I am
and learning to love myself first, before heading out into
the dating world again. Anyway, getting to my question.
The X's friend, txt messaged me the other day "by accident"
claiming she was telling another friend how to spell my last name so she could send me something I had left at the house during a party a while back. I didn't recognize the number right away, but when I did I acted like the accidental txt was nothing. I was friendly and her friend messaged me back a few times about how she was. I never asked about the X, but does this mean I start at square 1 again? Even though I didn't make the initial contact?

All this over analyzing is silly, I know. But we all come here to ask these
silly questions, because others on here understand.

Thanks!

[Ash123]

No,

You are not back at square 1.
You are fine.