[clarinetman9587]

I am 17 about to be 18. I am going to college this fall, and I have totally fallen in love. This is it, and we both know for a fact. She is only 16 and will be 17 in January. We know for a fact we will be together forever. WE KNOW! So we were just wondering what people think about a couple getting married, but it won't matter what the reply is we still are, but we are not getting married until she turns 18 in 2 years. I am going to college to study music and she will still back home at my old high school. Then in 2 years she is going to come to school where I am and we getting married. She has wanted to go to this school since 8th grade, and I have chosen this college for my best choice for me. So we are still going to college, but people keep saying we should wait. But, we love each other we want to be married, and people say what is the rush, well I say why wait if YOU KNOW! Her parents are strict and are like my girl is going to college and stuff, and I am like yeah of course we are and we are, but we are going to be married too. But they do not know our plans yet. Anyway I would like to here some feedback. Thanks.

[wzartv]

An important question... how long have you been together for?

[erichss]

I say wait until at least one of you graduates college and get job.
If you are truly meant to last, then there should be no problem until waiting until you are more financially stable.

[fredg]

Hi,
At 18, your life is just starting.
If you get married now, you can kiss your college education goodbye.
Oh, you say you will still go to college, graduate, support a wife, probably get pregnant.
As I said, you can kiss you college education goodbye.
And, you KNOW you are in love.
Ask yourself this; have you done any research on how many times a man is in love before he is 40?? Check it out.
Also, 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. In your case, at 18, it really doesn't have much of a chance; just slim and none.
Think about it. If you really "are in love", and she, too; then you both will be ready to get married when you graduate from college. Afraid she won't wait for you? Then, it's not really love.
How old am I?? 63, been around much, much longer than an 18 yr old!
Best of luck,
fredg

[LOLO]

You think you're sure now & you're going to college, you'll be surprised at how quickly you'll change and you'll be surprised at how your relationship will change. Of all the people I went to college with that had a relationship previous to starting school, I can only think of one that maintained the relationship & married. I'm not saying it's impossible, or improbable, just give both of you a chance to see if it's truly what you want for yourselves & each other. ;)

[kp2171]

I dated a girl from junior year high school through college and into her 1st year med school. Seven years. And I was certain we'd marry. Thank God we didn't.

I think it is normal to feel as certain as you feel. I also think that if your commitment is true, then you can wait a few years to marry.

My roommate in college married his high school sweetheart after college and they're still married happily ten years later. He knew, also, that he would marry her... and I'm certain he does not regret waiting. He was just that much more certain after that time.

By the time they married they'd each figured out their career paths, they'd worked through some of the struggles of learning to live on their own, and they were better prepared.

Even the happiest marriage takes a lot of work. Its worth waiting sometimes to make sure.

[corey59]

I am personally curious how many people there are that were married in the past ten years that married young, under 21 and are still married. Of course all people in love believe it is forever. I got married when I was 19 and my parents tried to tell me I was too young, Well, we knew were going to be together forever because WE WERE REALLY IN LOVE. Well, 2 kids and 14 years later we divorced my son now wants to get married before he even turns 19. Of course I don't understand he is REALLY IN LOVE. THIS IS FOR REAL AND FOR EVER. Well I want to know how many forevers are out there or even how many have made it through one decade.

[fredg]

Hi,
Been divorced once, after 7 yrs, then remarried... been 29 yrs now!!
Married first time at 24 yrs old, second time was 33 yrs old.
I know people who are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
If each person treats the other with respect, shows love, and only shows affection for their spouse (not "running around" or having affairs, or even looking), marriage has a really good chance.
It's very sad, that in the last 20 yrs, the divorce rate is now 50%, at least.
At least half of all marriages now end in divorce. So, with that in mind, what is the prediction for teens staying married? Slim and none; with the reason being that teens haven't really even started "real world living experiences" yet.
Another sad statistic: 40% of all girls in America will be pregnant before they are 20 yrs old! Marriage has less and less of a chance, as time goes by.
Best wishes,
fredg

[s_cianci]

If you truly believe that you love one another and feel that you want to be married, then more power to you. Just understand that it is extremely difficult for a young couple to make ends meet financially as your educations and work experience and consequently your earning power will be quite limited during the early years of your marriage. It is a well-established fact that finances are the number one cause of fights between spouses. You may have to make many sacrifices that, during your childhoods, would have been unheard of (no cable TV , no cell phones, no Friday nights at the movies, etc.) Are you prepared to do without such things that, up until now you've probably taken for granted? Keep in mind that as a married couple you'll be legally emancipated, regardless of your ages, so you'll no longer be eligible to have your parents provide such things for you as auto and health insurance. You'll have to provide these for yourselves and they can be quite expensive for a young married couple attending school. If any children come along, this will compound your problems exponentially and will most likely force one or both of you to quit school and work full-time at a job requring minimal qualifications and consequently providing minimal compensation. You'll likely spend your whole working lives always lagging behind and never realizing your full professional and earning potentials.

[Meb]

There are a few things that you need to consider first, and since you are wanting to wait a few years anyway, you have time to consider them.

1) How will you pay for both of you to go to college? Do you have a significant amount in savings?

2) Are you sure that you want to be with her forever? I know you already said you did but have you thought and processed the fact that she will be the only one you kiss, the only one you sleep with, the only one you're affectionate with and date.

3) Have you discussed your desired futures in details. Kids, jobs, where you want to be in life? Some people put a high value in being wealthy, others don't. Things like that. There is a book, "1000 questions you should ask before getting married." My fiancé and I went through every single one. Check it out.

The biggest thing is if you want to do this to have a very clear and defined plan. All the way down to the costs of insuring you both.

I told you that I am planning on getting married young too, but I know it wouldn't be possible without having a good deal in savings, knowing exactly what we both want and how we're going to support ourselves, praying about it, and really knowing that my fiancé is the only one that I want to be with.

Good luck to you both.

[mommaveloso]

Take this from someone who married at ~19~! We just KNEW! And trust me we are still together.. but.. I never finished school.. we had babies! And I said.. well this is just one baby I can finish school when she is big enough for day care, NOPE.. we had another one.. and then when she was big enough for day care, I started to go back to school, got a job, and then BAM.. another one.. and trust me I love my kids, and I would never trade them for the world.. but if you want to finish school... u best do it before the wedding! We always say.. I will finish I will finish.. I have a 7 mth old, and I have to finish still.. we been married 10 years now.. I could have been finished by now.. but my kids come first always and forever!
I am only saying this because this is my experience and no one else's, u are eventually going to do what you want to do anyway.. so you be the one to make the choice!

[daehnolem]

I don't see anything wrong with you and your girlfriend getting married in a couple of years. It depends on what your goals are. College is important for both of you. If she's planning on graduating before you guys start your family (if you plan of having one), then by all means, use every kind of birth control you can think of. My husband and I are in our early twenties are we're newlyweds. I didn't know him when I was 18, but I know would have married him then. We dated for a year before we got married, and he was overseas for the first year of our marriage. We're kind of in our second first year of marriage now, when we actually get to live with each other. But I think having the support of your best friend (with great benefits) to help you through college is great. We're in college right now, and sure, money's tight, but it would be even if we were single. I'm glad I married young. My husband and I had our goals before we got married, and we still have our goals now. I say give it a chance. I think it's smart for you to start thinking about it now because you're waiting for two years, after all. If you feel differently when the time comes, you'll still be able to change your mind. But I don't think there's any harm in planning for it now.

-B

[starella19]

Ummm, I am 20 years old and I have been married for over a year. I am in college full time, and I graduate next year. My husband is 4 years older than I am and I have been with him since I turned 17. Marriage and college can work. He never attended a university like I have, but he went to trade schools, and from I was in high school I knew I was going to college for 4 years and graduating with a Bachelors in Science, and become an RN. I am well on my way to my dream, I am a junior and I am very successful. As far as school goes everything is all good, however marriage is not easy. I know this first hand, you have ups and downs, and we have been through harsh times, but were making it. Its stressful, it requires a lot of work from both of us, and we both have to be understanding, willing to do certain thing and make sacrifices. We have to communicate and deal with each others schedules, but all that is based on circumstances, not love, I know I love him and want to be with him. I am a hard working person, and when I know I want something and I believe in it, I fight for it. That goes for my career and my marriage. We are both willing to work for the things that we want from life, that's what counts most. We want our own careers, we want a family together; we want a lot of things, some individual achievements, and other things we want together. Idealistic, maybe but if you guys are on the same page with what both of your needs are, then it can work. Sometimes you feel like killing your partner, but at the end of the day if your happy with where you are at in life, and feel that's where you need to be, then do what you want. I'm stressed with school, work and a husband, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything. At this point, we are planning to get a home, we want children around the time I graudate (which I will be a working mom), and I am going to get my Master's(part time). Trust me I know what I want, and I will have it. What we have has worked so far, will this last forever, truly I don't know, but in the now we are broke, we are happy and doing what we have to do, to get where we want to be together... so do what you feel is best!!