[da one]

I am married woman with two children. My marriage is falling apart for many years already, but I keep it because of my children. Few months ago my co-worker said that he is in love with me for two years and he can't keep quite about it anymore. He has family too and two children younger than mine. We started to see each other, and it seems we both enjoy. But I know that he won't leave his family, neither will I. I am really confused sometimes and feel guilty, but I am happy at the same time. Can somebody give any advise, please. Thank you

Hey I am going through some problems myself but I no that cheating is not the answer to what is missing in your marriage. Its not fair to either family. You need to stop seeing the other man or leave your husband for him.

[jrb252000]

Your children will suffer in the long run; kids can sense things way better than some adults give them credit for. You should come clean to your husband and if you want to try and work it out go get therapy if not cut your loss and start a new life. Leave married people alone there are plenty of fish in the sea... not to mention you are cheating with a cheater so you whole relationship is based on mistrust. I sure hope for your husbands sake you don't pass on some nasty disease.

[dcole]

Paunash,

I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked my own set of questions on your posting... I think some people may be confusing our stories.

Anyhow... I guess I do understand somewhat how you feel, although I never kidded myself about any emotional ties to my lover although on some level I think I was trying to build some. I should thank him for only wanting sex and nothing more. The underlying truth is that you need to make a decision about your own situation and marriage before engaging in any more "indiscrepencies" with your lover. You are already confused enough. Stop the relationship and then figure out whether your marriage is worth salvaging. Just keep in mind that trading in one guy for another will just be trading in one set of problems/issues for another. No one is perfect. One thing that I've learned from my ex-lover is that they will readily tell you whatever it is they think you want to hear just for quick sexual gratification. Well, we're big girls and we can make up our own minds to be used or not. You won't be able to change your lover any more than you can change your current husband. But who's more likely to work towards meaningful change? A truthful husband or a cheating lover?

Well, I wish you and your family well. Try to get your head together before you make any rash decisions. I'll try too. Ultimately, we create our own happiness and our own pain.

[klovesj110603]

The worst thing people do is stay together for their children when they are not really happy. If your family is falling apart your kids will notice. My mom and dad did this and it was hard on the kids because we knew what was happening and it wasn't fair. Divorce is hard for kids but seeing unhappy parents is harder. Cheating is an issue that hits me hard because my husband has cheated on me. It is not right but if a man and woman want to fix things they can.. we did.. these kinds of issues are hard and confussin. Do some soul searching.. ask yourself do I still love my husband? Would I still do anything to make it work with him?. u should also tell your husband if he doesn't know because not knowing is hard on the spouse the longer it goes on the harder it is to get over. But if your marrige is unhappy don't stay in it for the kids because in the end you could really have a better relationship with them if they see you are happy. It makes things easier on them and yourself. And don't think a child doesn't see these things because kids see things we think they don't. I hope I could help u

[Canada_Sweety]

The worst thing people do is stay together for their children when they are not really happy. If ur family is falling apart ur kids will notice. my mom and dad did this and it was hard on the kids because we knew what was happening and it wasnt fair. Divorce is hard for kids but seeing unhappy parents is harder. Cheating is an issue that hits me hard because my husband has cheated on me. it is not right but if a man and woman want to fix things they can.. we did.. these kinds of issues are hard and confussin. Do some soul searching.. ask ur self do i still love my husband? would i still do anything to make it work with him?.. u should also tell ur husband if he doesnt know because not knowing is hard on the spouse the longer it goes on the harder it is to get over. But if ur marrige is unhappy dont stay in it for the kids because in the end u could really have a better relationship with them if they see u are happy. it makes things easier on them and ur self. and dont think a child doesnt see these things because kids see things we think they dont. i hope i could help u

It's very true. I know this by experience. My parents stayed together just for me for a while when I was like 5 & under... it ended horribly and because they had been forced togehter for so long, there was a LOT of resentment.