[turtlegirl]

One of my best friends is -- I think -- going through a manic episode or maybe a psychotic break. She's drinking a lot, can't really have a linear conversation, she's very distractable, isn't taking her job all that seriously, is experiencing boundary issues, and is making a series of bad decisions.

I don't know how to approach her. I can't talk to her mom because her mom's wacky, and I don't want to go to her husband because some of the bad decisions are things I don't think it's my place to share with him. Our only mutual friend is concerned, but mostly seems to be enjoying the ride. My own sister, brother, and roommate are quite concerned as well.

Should I just approach her and say, "I'm worried about you. Should I be?" But what if she says no? I would think drug use, but that's really not her. I see her most days of the week until she made a really bad choice on Friday and I haven't wanted to see her since then.

She's in her mid-20's and has been married for exactly one year. Please advise.

[NeedHondaHelp]

Try talking to your friend - just the way you said, by asking her. You never know about drug use - I've known people in highly-prestigious positions that were closet dope fiends. I had a friend like yours and after 3 tumultous years of being "best" friends, I realized that she was draining me. I couldn't tak her bad decisions anymore (and most of them she'd b*tch to me for hours on the phone, only to turn around and do something stupid again.) I hung onto the friendship for 3 years because there were a lot of good times, but they became less-frequent, so I ended the friendship. To be honest w/ you, I didn't miss it at all. In fact, I felt better and VERY relieved. Friends are like relationships - they should bring out the good in both people. Has the bad out-weighed the good? If so, it's time to move on. If not, talk to her, but keep it in the back of your head that if you see more red flags, it's not worth it. Believe me. Good luck.