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asky · Jul 24, 2007, 04:54 AM

He loves me but keep saying that we can't be together because he doesn't know how to love.what this suppose to mean?

talaniman · Jul 24, 2007, 05:16 AM

It means he is not ready for whatever reason to be with you. How old are you and him?

shygrneyzs · Jul 24, 2007, 05:41 AM

This means quit agonizing for a supposed relationship because it is not going to happen right now. Neither you nor him are in the right place for this to work out. He sounds like he has some growing up to do and some things he needs to take care in his life before entering a relationship. So let it be. Be a friend but do not push for more. If that does not work for you, then let it entirely go and wish him well.

tip · Nov 1, 2007, 08:13 PM

Then you show him what its like to love teach. Him how get him alone with you and give him a peck on the cheak flirt with him, give him a hug every now and then.

grammadidi · Nov 1, 2007, 09:10 PM

Darn, meant to disagree, tip. Sorry, but love is not kissing, flirting and hugging. Sometimes people just know that they are incapable or loving. If she cares about him, then she should respect his wishes. He said they can't be together and unless he figures this out for himself, she must let go. If she pressures him it could push him away or she may be put into a situation where she is hurt. She should either just be a good friend or let go completely.

Hugs, Didi

tip · Nov 1, 2007, 09:12 PM

I geuss

linds03 · Nov 4, 2007, 02:48 PM

Then why does he tell you he loves you if he doesn't know how to love. It maks zero sense. I would probably call his bluff and move on. Love is not a learned thing... it comes naturally. There is not a 10 step plan to love! Either you do or you don't...

br_hjs · Nov 4, 2007, 02:51 PM

I think maybe he is just afraid to show it... my boyfriend says sometimes that theirs no such thing as love and that he was taught not to love. But I get a feeling he is just afraid to show it and maybe this guy that you are talking about is the same way. He wants to show he loves you but he's afraid to. If you love him, try showing him and maybe he will do the same for you... he could be afraid of showing he loves you and you not loveing him back

Wondergirl · Nov 4, 2007, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by linds03

Love is not a learned thing...it comes naturally.

Oh, but love IS something that has to be learned. Children that were never cuddled and hugged and cared for grow up not knowing how to love. There is no disputing that; it's in all the science and medical literature.

Loving ourselves and loving others is not something we know how to do naturally. Job-shadow a counselor for a week if you don't believe that.

linds03 · Nov 4, 2007, 07:00 PM

My point is that you cannot FORCE yourself to love someone. When your talking about children and so on who have been abused, then yes, they might need to learn how to love. If you say "I love you" to someone, you should probably mean it! So yes, love should come naturally. You think that we can pick the people will fall in love with? No. That's called infatuation. A counselor is not a romantic companion, either.

Wondergirl · Nov 4, 2007, 07:03 PM

The OP's boyfriend said he doesn't know HOW to love. Perhaps he has never been truly loved or learned how to love someone else, or even himself. Nothing was said about forcing him to love her. And, lind, you totally missed my point about the counselor.