[saraispiel19]

i'm α new pαrent, my bαby is only 5 months old, αnd i wαs thinking one dαy αbout spαnking.. i don't wαnt to hit shαylα but then αgαin i know sometimes i will wαnt to...like every other pαrent hαs wαnted to do so αt some point or other..

**i know not everybody αgrees on it αnd it's α constαnt bαttle whether to do it or not-- but when is it okαy? --when your child steαls? when she throws α temper tαntrum αt the store?..**

i know it's the pαrent's decision αnd well to eαch thier own...


my situαtion:
-my husbαnd sαys he couldn't spαnk shαylα but "you'll be the one doing it not me"--therefore no support
-i think it's αlright sometimes
-my fαmily believes in spαnking ; i on the other hαnd only been spαnked once αnd well it pissed me off αnd mαde me αct out more-- so i don't know if spαnking is good.. but..ugh... mind boggling!!!

help! express your opinion freely αnd whαt situαtions you've fαced with your child(ren)

[J_9]

Personally I believe the punishment should fit the crime. Such as... it is okay to spank if your child endangers herself or someone else i.e. running out in the street. But for a temper tantrum? No. A temper tantrum in the store gets dealt with by leaving the store. End of story.

I have raised 4 kids and have only spanked 4 times. All 4 times were under the age of six. After that I used reasoning to deal with the behavior.

[excon]

Hello Sarai:

It's never OK to hit anybody.

excon

[inthebox]

When it is done in love:

A 5 month old can't be talked to , so a quick judicious spanking, sends an important message.

For example
-running out into the street
-putting fingers in dangerous places like a wall outlet or a hot stove.

There is nothing to feel guilty about in these type of situations.



Never in anger or frustration.




Grace and Peace

[J_9]

At 5 months old I think a spank is too much. Rather a little pop on the hand if putting fingers into sockets etc.

[saraispiel19]

Lol I'm not gonnα hit my 5 month old guys-- I meαnt in the lαter future :)

[jillianleab]

I'm not a parent but I have young nieces and nephews, as well as friends with small children. A friend of mine gave her son a good swat when he was about to stick his finger in an outlet (it was at my house, no child-proofing here!) after she yelled at him to stop and he didn't. To me, that's appropriate. Someone else I know gave a kid a swat on the butt because the kid peed his pants (potty training) after she "told him not to". To me, NOT appropriate.

I think that given certain ages, such as when children are too young to reason, a smack on the butt or slap of the hand can send the message you want. But to me, (again, not a parent, so forgive me if I'm idealistic!) once the child is old enough to reason and understand what he/she has done wrong, I think talking and time outs are effective. My mom was a teacher so she had that "teacher tone" down pat - it works wonders! I have a friend who STILL (20 years later) remembers the "talking to" she got from my mom after she bit my brother. Yeah, that's another story!

I hope you and your husband can get on the same page about proper ways to discipline. So many people fight about kids, it would be a shame if something like this caused you guys trouble in the future.

[Tuscany]

I was only spanked once... when I tried to put barbie's toe in a light socket. That was when I was four. It never happened again. That being said- I agree with J-9; if the child endangers themselves then I think a tap on the rump and a time out is fine. Other then that I don't think spanking is an effective form of punishment. If the child respects the parents and the rules of the house are consistent, then things should run smooth... the majority of the time.

[Wondergirl]

I was never spanked and turned out fine. (Of course, there were rules and consequences.) I have two sons, and spanked the first once when he ran out into the street. After that, during a rare tantrum (he wanted to play with the fake food at Sears), we left the store. I too established rules and there were consequences. Both boys are well-behaved adults who never got into trouble as teens.

Spanking is hitting. I don't care how someone tries to justify it, it is still hitting. Only the surprise element is why I would allow it in an emergency, like when the child runs into the street.

Better that the parents first get on the same page as each other, make rules, and consistently enforce them, then follow up with consequences appropriate to the crime. Consistency is the important word.

Spank? No.

[nauticalstar420]

My son is going through his terrible twos. He is doing things like getting knives out of the drawer, stuffing things down the toilet (every toilet in my house is clogged as we speak), sticking things in light sockets, putting things in the fish tank... I mean the list goes on.

I spank him for it. I am not ashamed to say so. It is the only way I can get through to him. I tell him to stop, he says no. I put him in the corner, he thinks that's a joke. I put him in his room, he is right back out in 5 seconds. What else is there left to do?

[J_9]

My son is going through his terrible twos. He is doing things like getting knives out of the drawer, stuffing things down the toilet (every toilet in my house is clogged as we speak), sticking things in light sockets, putting things in the fish tank...i mean the list goes on.

I spank him for it. I am not ashamed to say so. It is the only way I can get through to him. I tell him to stop, he says no. I put him in the corner, he thinks thats a joke. I put him in his room, he is right back out in 5 seconds. What else is there left to do?

This is exactly why I childproof everything in my home. No knives can be reached or gotten into, bathroom doors are closed with childproof handles on the doorknobs.

There are things you actually can do to prevent these sorts of things.

[nauticalstar420]

This is exactly why I childproof everything in my home. No knives can be reached or gotten into, bathroom doors are closed with childproof handles on the doorknobs.

There are things you actually can do to prevent these sorts of things.

What the heck is a childproof handle? Apparently nothing that they have at walmart or I would have seen it.. lol. And everything is childproofed. The plastic things in the light sockets (he knows how to take them out), toilet seat locks (he knows how to take them off), cabinet locks (yep, you guessed it, he knows how to get around those too). He is like super toddler or something.. lol. :)

[saraispiel19]

Oh jeeze I hope shαylα doesn't turn out like thαt -teehee... hαve you tried closing the door to the bαthroom αnd putting one of thoes door things thαt go on the knob?.

[nauticalstar420]

oh jeeze i hope shαylα doesn't turn out like thαt -teehee... hαve you tried closing the door to the bαthroom αnd putting one of thoes door things thαt go on the knob?...

I don't understand what thing you mean. If they have something to keep him out of the bathroom, please tell me! Lol.

I hope your little girl doesn't turn out this way too, and if she does, I feel sorry for you.

[saraispiel19]

I dont understand what thing you mean...

They look like this :

[nauticalstar420]

they look like this :

Wow, thanks for the pic! I have never seen or heard of anything like that before. If I did I would probably have a couple of them.. lol. Do you by any chance know where I can get a hold of something like that?

[saraispiel19]

You cαn order them online or you cαn order them from your locαl wαlmαrt (if they don't αlreαdy hαve them), they cαn be found αt your locαl hαrdwαre store αnd toys R us
Here's α perfect site you cαn buy brαnd new ones: KidSafe Storefront, Baby Gates, Child Safety, Baby Proof Supplies

[J_9]

Yup that's exactly what I was talking about. Thanks Sarai!!

[nauticalstar420]

Thanks guys you're awesome!

But to get back on the subject, I do not see anything wrong with spanking if there is no other way of getting through to the child. When I say something to him when he's doing something wrong, he'll either look at me with a blank stare, or start laughing at me. And after that, he'll go right back to doing what he was getting in trouble for in the first place. It is so aggravating!

[saraispiel19]

No problem-o :)