[robertsqueen]

Since my Aunt Tammy passed away because of lung cancer two weeks ago I find myself to be so angry. I get mad so easy and at stupid things. I get so mad that I want to cry but I won't let myself. I am just not in a good place right now. I am short with my husband and my son, and I don't want to be. Its like I am pushing them away. Things that made me laugh before makes me upset. I am also unmotivated. I don't want to do anything but lay around the house. I know that its effecting my relationship with my husband and my son... but honestly I care, but it dosen't stop me from being lazy. I hate work... I hate life right now. I am normally a very sweet person but not right now. I just hurt so bad. My heart feels so empty and I feel so alone. I knew that her passing would be hard but I didn't know it would be this hard.I don' understand out of everyone she was chosen, she is a wonderful lady. Please just help me beucase I want to be happy steph not the steph I am now. I try to change how I am acting but then I just can't. It takes all my energy to even take a shower. I act like I am fine to my family because they are hurting to. I just hurt, and I hurt really bad. :(

[GlindaofOz]

I am so sorry for your loss.

First things first - let yourself grieve. It sounds as if you are not allowing yourself to let go and just be sad about losing your precious Aunt. You may find if you just give in to your sadness and let yourself have some good cries that you will be able to move through the stages of grief.

It is a process and try to be easy on yourself. It's okay to feel sad you lost someone who obviously met a lot to you and who you loved deeply. Please stop pretending to be fine - no one expects to hold everything up believe me. Its okay to be sad and I'm sure everyone will be there with a willing shoulder to be cried upon.

My deepest prayers are with your family in this trying time.

[robertsqueen]

I am still very angry... and I cry at the drop of a hat. When does grieving get easier?

[saraispiel19]

In due time everything will become more peαceful hun

Sounds dumb but try to do inhαle excercises before αn outburst.

I'm sorry for your loss hun<3

[GlindaofOz]

It's a process, but you will get through this. The hurt of losing someone who you loved so much is so difficult to get through. I'm sure you feel like you lost a piece of yourself. Let yourself be sad, its okay to cry it gets out all of your sad :)

[J_9]

Hi RQ, it's me Janine. Remember that my Dad died in June? I know what you are going through. Believe me, it does get easier.

Honey, you HAVE to grieve, you HAVE to cry. Every day I cried, I cried a little less than the day before. It is okay. Sweetie there are five stages to the grief process and we must go through all five. It doesn't matter what order, there is no order to grief. But to recover fully we have to experience all five stages. Those stages are:

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the deceased in familiar places, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that the person is gone, that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.

After 2 months, it will be 2 months the day before my birthday, I have finally reached the Acceptance stage. You will too, in your own time. It may be more quick than 2 months for you, or it may be longer, the process is very individual. However, if you notice that you have not passed through these stages at the end of six months, that signifies that counseling and/or medication may be needed to help with the process.

Sweetie, it is okay to be angry, that is part of the process and it is healthy.

[Wondergirl]

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross named five stages of grief for any kind of loss including death -- denial ("No, no, she can't be gone!"), anger ("Why HER? It's not fair!"), bargaining ("I will be nicer to others if this is only a dream."), depression ("I can't handle this any longer."), and acceptance ("It's going to be ok."). A person may not experience all of the stages, and they don't come in any kind of order and may even repeat more than once.

Find ways that are good for you to work through these different stages. You may want to keep a daily journal of your feelings. A friend of mine wrote a letter to her deceased parent and poured out all her anger and upset, then burned the letter in a little ceremony. My siblings and I and our kids put together a memory book after my father died. We remembered the good and the silly and the irritating, wrote them all down, created an appropriate cover, got the book spiral bound, and gave one to each person in the family. A few months later (in the spring), we planted a tree in his memory. Some of his favorite things were golf and being with people and the Chicago Cubs, so we donated books in his memory to our various public libraries. The libraries added a book plate inside the front cover to note his name and our names. We always have kept his name in our conversations -- "Dad would have loved to see this" or "Dad would have roared at that joke."

It sounds trite, but time is your biggest friend now. I hated to hear that then, but it's true. The pain slowly dissipates, but your love and memories will always be there.

[robertsqueen]

I think that I am in the angry phase. I am so angry that she got cancer and she had to die. I am also angry with god because he took her from us. I know that it's the selfish part of me that wants her back but it still dosen't stop the longing. We have been going through her belongings such as her clothes and I just smell them and cry and cry. They smell so much like her, and it makes me heart just break. I am starting to feel as though I can't go on. I used to be a happy person but I am not anymore. She was the only person in my family that accepted me for who I was. I go to her grave often but I just feel lonely. I wrote her a letter and put it on her grave, we also have a tree next to her grave and we put windchimes on it. My heart is just breaking so bad. My uncle gave me one of her favorite rings that I wear religiously. I just miss her so much. I expect her to walk into work or be on her porch and when I remember that she won't be there it breaks me heart. My grandma had to get surgery and when she came out of it she asked for Tammy when they told her that she died, she just cried and cried.
What really angers me is that Carol my uncles husband is trying to take over Tammy's spot. At my work her restaurant she is already planning on having it remodeled. Tammy modeled that restaurant and Carol wants to change it... its disrepectful. She is also making Bryan get rid of Tammy's belongings. I just miss her that's all.

[Canada_Sweety]

I know what you're going through. When my ebst friend passed I would cry and scream and have mood swings like crazy. It took me over half a year for the crying and anger to tone down. It's just your emotional way of getting the sadness out rather then having it harboured inside yurself till it explodes and you go crazy.
I know you're hurting, but just keep in mind that you're just mourning.

Ps: I am truly sorry for your loss and am here for you anytime.<3