[terminator05]

Ok, I would like to have sex with my girlfriend, but because of her ex, she's afraid of "getting hurt" if we have sex. We only talked about sex and foreplay once, and that was about three months ago, and she said she wasn't ready, and I agreed with her. But when I tried to bring the subject up a second time (just recently) she simply stated " i dont want to talk about that" So, how can I make her feel safe with me, that I won't hurt her (intentionally) and without looking like sex is all I want (because it isn't) and to help her feel ready?

[Fr_Chuck]

Well you don't, you wait till she is ready ( and perhaps old enough)

And to be honest your posts sounds like hat is all you have in mind.

3 months is not long for her to "change her mind" a year or two maybe, at her pace, at her time frame.

To be honest the first time or several times for a girl is normally painful, and they get little pleasure out of it. And a couple that builds their relationship first will be much better off.

So take some cold showers and forget it for now.

[otto186]

It sounds like she has been hurt in the past, and she is unable to trust anyone at this time. You just need to back up and give her time. Be her friend and companion, and be there for her. When she is ready she'll let you know. Just don't pressure her because you might push her away.

[Shadow300]

Give it time, if you really care for her, you will stick with her and be supportive. She has been hurt, and we all know things can come back to haunt us. Give it time and when she is ready it will mean a whole lot to both of you.

[JoeCanada76]

I agree with the above. You need to be completely understanding and patient. Obviously she was hurt and this experience that you would like would be best when your both ready. Are you ready to be patient and loving and completely understanding? Even if it could possibly be a year or two?