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nthomas07 · Jul 20, 2007, 01:38 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. I told him that I was going to be leaving for college at the beginning of the relationship and about three months into it he said that he would go with me. About two months ago he started changing. He used to tell me that he loved me but now he has changed it to "I love you here and now" when he says it... he rarely does. His father has said that he has changed for the worse. We haven't gone out for about a month and a half and when we do have alone time he treats me like I don't matter. He has stopped kissing and hugging me and has begun doing the things that he knows annoy me. He burps and farts constantly (it seems just to annoy me), he comments about other girls, etc. Last night I caught him looking at porn. It pissed me off, not because of the porn itself but because for the last month almost I have been the one who wants to have sex. I just feel like it may have been getting serious and he decided to turn away... do guys do that? Any help would be appreciated because right now I am so confused.

kp2171 · Jul 20, 2007, 01:54 PM

He might be threatened with your going away, certainly sounds like he's lashing out at you.

Girls can do this too.

Look... you need to do what you need to do. If he's too immature to handle a long distance relationship, that's too bad.

If he's choosing to put distance in between you, that's too bad also.

In the end, I'm guessing you are going to need to step back. Maybe he was good for you... here and now. And maybe its almost time to step away from nonsense that is only driving you mad.

Trust me... you are going to have so much going on at college over the next few years... you don't need someone who is acting immature to slow you down.

I'm not against relationships that transition from HS to college. My roommate and best friend in college dated his HS sweetheart all through college and later married her. 3 kids. Perfect marriage.

But... he's acting immature and you are seeing that maybe he's not all he needs to be. I'm not a big fan of someone following someone away to school. Not unless you are in a serious relationship, meaning married or the like. Usually the couple breaks up anyway and the person that left for the other feels resentful.

So... he might be stressed or depressed about your leaving. That's normal. But his actions sound immature and you sounds like you are ahead of him in terms of maturity and growing up. Sorry for the bad news, but I think the relationship has most likely peaked. At least for now.

Focus on yourself. Congrads on planning for college. Be excited.

nthomas07 · Jul 20, 2007, 02:24 PM

I have had that thought that perhaps he is pushing me away because he knows that I am leaving. But when I asked him about it he said that he "wanted to make it work" while I am away. I feel like if we cannot have open communication now then how are we supposed to when I am 400 miles away? Make any sense?

tobeamiss · Jul 20, 2007, 02:34 PM

You're too young to be dealing with this. Just go on to college and have a good time. Time will tell. Don't make any decisions based on your relationship with him. Just do what you have to do.

talaniman · Jul 22, 2007, 08:26 PM

For whatever reason he has changed and you should step back and see if maybe your trying to hold something together that can't work. If he isn't trying, it's a waste.

E12191G · Jul 22, 2007, 09:09 PM

First of all. If he's acting different then that means either he's not intersted anymore or soemthign or he's just gotten too used to you. If your hurting and he's doing all of this then maybe its best to go separate ways. Even his father sayd he's changed for the worce. So . Its up to you if you want to go through that. You're the one in contron and you have the say so . So.. do you want to hurt? Or do you want to move on?