What should I do?

neverloveagain · Jul 18, 2007, 05:39 PM

So my boyfriend and I were together for 5 months. Things were a bit rocky but we were getting through it. Things were looking brighter when sudenly, last Friday he wanted to break up. He said he was stressed with work, friends, and his family. I didn't know what to say. I was sad and upset. I called him today because I missed him so much and felt so sad! He said he likes being single and even after talking to him for a half hour, he didn't want to get back together. I love this man with all my heart! I don't know what to do! Someone please give me some addvise!

Skell · Jul 18, 2007, 06:26 PM

Im sorry to hear this. I know it is tough right now but you just have to accept that the two of you want different things right now and move on. No amount of begging and pleading will bring him back. I can assure you of that from my own experience.

Now is the time to move on with your life and leave him alone. He has stated that he isn't ready so you have no option but you accept that. Go back to being how you were before he came along. It was only 5 months ago so surely you remember. Do things with your friends, keep busy, work hard, exercise etc. Do as many things as you can to take your mind off him.

I understand that sometimes it is hard and you get caught up in the whirlwind of the romance but you also need to learn that you shouldn't invest so much into someone you have only known 5 months. The two of you were still only getting to know each other. It sounds like you went a little too fast and now it has crashed and burned.

Once again sorry about your situation and I'm sure others will be able to help more but in my opinion it is time to chalk it up to experience and begin to move forward.

diya · Jul 19, 2007, 06:01 AM

Yes I agree with skell. You can't force someone to like you or to be with you. It's strange that in such short span as 5 months, our whole world starts revolving around a person we are still exploring; but the truth is that it is too short a time to even know the true intentions of a person. We can't come to terms with the sudden detachment from the other person... but the truth is that he's gone... so should you from his life...

Jaylove · Jul 19, 2007, 02:34 PM

I deffinetly agree with both of you. And I know exactly how you feel. Guys want some space in there lives after a while, not that they get bored of that certain women, but they just like to experience life and see what else is out there. Being too clingy with a guy may put a bigger distance between you guys. Trust me, I've learned. You need to keep telling yourself that it needs to end because if it was meant to be he would have wanted to stay. Try still being friends with him, and only friends. Act like you want to be friends and if not act like you don't care that he left you. That will leave him wondering why you don't. He thinks you can't live without him when I know you can hun. Just keep on telling yourself this and it takes a lot of patience.

whatshername · Jul 19, 2007, 02:39 PM

Lose his number! Find someone who WANTS to be with you! You are better than this!!

neverloveagain · Jul 19, 2007, 04:32 PM

OK so if you read my last post, you know my boyfriend broke up with me. Well everyone is telling me to find a guy I deserve and everything, but I'm so bad at meeting guys! The reason I meet my ex was pure luck and not because I knew him, its confusing but its hard to explain. So how on earth can I meet guys that, as my friends would say, "deserve" me?

Canada_Sweety · Jul 19, 2007, 04:34 PM

Ask your friends to set you up on a date with some of their cute single nice guy friends.

hettie · Jul 19, 2007, 04:46 PM

I haven't read your last post so I don't know how long ago you split up but all I can say is too take your time and ensure you are fully on=ver hin this will save messing someone else about then you wondering why that relationship failed as wel. Secondly I to am bad at meeting guys but I have bee told that you are more likely to find someone if you stop looking this was certainly the case whaen I met my now ex neither of us were looking for someone but yet we got it together so good luck and hopefully you will soon h find that special someone

s_cianci · Jul 19, 2007, 05:42 PM

Networking is key. In this modern "electronic age" it's easy (with proper discretion, of course.) Also there's still personal contacts. Coworkers, relatives, neighbors, friends ; someone you know is bound to know a single, eligible guy. Get the word out that you're interested in meeting people. Sooner or later, someone is bound to introduce you to a dating partner.

s_cianci · Jul 19, 2007, 06:00 PM

There's really not much you can do, other than to realize that it's over and make up your mind to get on with your life. He obviously isn't interested in being with anyone right now, for whatever reason, and nothing you can say or do is going to change that. Live your own life and do your own thing and concentrate on making yourself happy.

talaniman · Jul 19, 2007, 09:21 PM

I always thought the best way to meet people to date is to do the things you enjoy and have fun doing, and you will run into people who have like interests. Be happy being yourself is the best way to attract a happy person to share the happiness with.

huno · Jul 19, 2007, 11:25 PM

That's a good way, talaniman, but a more direct and hilarious way is to hang out where single guys exist: football games, Star Trek conventions, computer programming competitions, drag races, monster truck rallies, strip clubs, back rooms in seedy video stores, men's bathrooms, women's bathrooms, gay pride parades, and eating contests.

But if these things aren't convenient for you (or you'd prefer to meet good men), you might try asking your friends to set you up with a guy. Girls are usually eager to play matchmaker and they're especially happy to help a fellow female find a man.

nicola bowler · Jul 20, 2007, 02:47 AM

Stop chasing him and move on to a new partner that will appreciate you but first appreciate yourself

nicespringgirl · Jul 20, 2007, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by huno

That's a good way, talaniman, but a more direct and hilarious way is to hang out where single guys exist: football games, Star Trek conventions, computer programming competitions, drag races, monster truck rallies, strip clubs, back rooms in seedy video stores, men's bathrooms, women's bathrooms, gay pride parades, and eating contests.

But if these things aren't convenient for you (or you'd prefer to meet good men), you might try asking your friends to set you up with a guy. Girls are usually eager to play matchmaker and they're especially happy to help a fellow female find a man.

I love you Huno!! AHahahaha...
I "lived" in engineering lab but after I rejected two dates, guys were more intimidated...
I guess my fault, killed their confidenceLOL.
I agree, this is a direct way and if u don't do like I did-rejecting them,LOL. U will get a date.:) Engineering lab LOVES to have girls there!:D

SAB123 · Jul 20, 2007, 10:43 AM

You can try match.com or a site like that, or try 3 minute dating. That when you talk to 20 + people in 3 minutes. Try the grocery store. But I think best way is buy a friend.

talaniman · Jul 20, 2007, 10:49 AM

Try the grocery store. But I think best way is buy a friend.

LOL just because its Friday everyone has jokes!! Buy a friend, Love it! They have everything at your grocery store ,HUH, LMAO!

nicespringgirl · Jul 20, 2007, 02:07 PM

In the grocery store, I met a married man winkled to me, his wife was standing next to him! So sad... I am speechless

kp2171 · Jul 20, 2007, 02:16 PM

Take your time.

You might "deserve" a good guy, but that doesn't mean the right guy is right there or that you are even ready.

Ready to be over feeling like crap? Sure. But I just don't think you can force it. After a huge crash and burn I didn't date for almost 2 years... at first I wasn't ready and then I wasn't around any girls I wanted to date.

Then of course I dated 3 great girls (one at a time) and at the same time there were 2 others I would have dated if I wasn't already in a relationship. Feast or famine. Either there was nobody or too many to choose from.

I've dated almost excluseively from people I met through school, work, or friends.

E12191G · Jul 20, 2007, 10:44 PM

HOnestly if his feelings have changed I know how you feel. Right now I'm going through some issues with my boyfriend. But the best thing I think is to just leave him alone. Don't call him, let him call you. This will tell you whether he wants to be with you or not. If he doesn't call you or anythign then I'm guessing he didn't really care in the first place. So he doesn't call he's doing you the favor and letting you know that he's not with your time or tears. Why be with someone who really doesn't know if they want to be with you? Why beg someone to be with you when you know that really, they don't want it? Ask yourself that.. .

talaniman · Jul 21, 2007, 09:25 AM

I think everyone agrees, that it in your best interest to accept he is going down another path, and you should let him, and go down your own path without him.