[asking]

My boyfriend of three months sends me extravagant flower arrangements, brings me odd little gifts (cds and dried fruit?), and plans to see me basically every weekend. He even came to see me when I was really sick and didn't want him to come. He says he loves me. But he also is still going out with other women ("just friends") and even, I unfortunately discovered, trying to meet new ones. He failed to pay me back for an expensive weekend we took together that he asked for, I paid for and which he promised to share the expenses for. He makes several times what I do. When I express confusion about us, he gets upset and says, "Haven't I made my feelings clear?" Answer: no. He sometimes makes remarks that seem mildly hostile, except when he's talking romantic stuff that sounds like it's out of a bad movie. I don't mean to be critical, but it's so corny, I feel embarrassed. Like he's just feeding me lines, not really being himself. He also uses the same lines over and over, and I find myself assuming he's used them with other women. I think this is the part where he's making his feelings clear, but I find it hard to take him seriously when he talks like that. Then I feel guilty for not taking him seriously.

He can be very intimate, genuine, kind and sweet. He's fun to talk to, but he'll switch over to remote or fake sounding in a second, and I have caught him in some definite lies. He described himself as cheerful and upbeat, but later told me that he is on an antidepressant without which he's completely dsyfunctional and that he lost a job because of his procrastination. He waited a long time to tell me about this and said he was worried I would dump him. He said he was so relieved that I wasn't upset. He also said his wife left him because of his procrastination, but it sounded to me more like it was because he lied to her about some pretty important things. Our sex life is great, but he often mentions how "experienced" I am compared to him, which I'm not. It makes me feel kind of slutty when he says that and it's not true. When I asked him why he had this image of me, if it was something I said, he sounded offended and put out by my asking, and basically said, "so okay, you're not." That didn't really explain anything to me. When it's good with us it's great, but I find myself tired and confused a lot. What's going on in this guy's head?

[StupidMinor]

Get away from him as soon as possible. When a guy feeds you lines OVER AND OVER AGAIn it is because he is with too many women to remember who he said the line to and who he hasn't. That is not a relationship you want to be in unless you are just friends w/ benefits. He sounds like a real jerk no matter what he says that is "sweet" just think about him using it on all those other woman...

Some of the worst guys are guys like this because you never can tell what they are thinking and if he is cheating on you now... "once a cheater alwasy a cheater" NOTHING u do will make that go away. Trust me... found that out the hard way

[victoria_mitchell]

This is an unhealthy relationship. He may be sweet and genuine and bla bla bla sometimes but over all this guy sounds like he is taking advantage of you and using you as his puppet. Find someone that loves you and will take care of you that you can trust and believe him when he says something, not a guy like this. No girl deserves to be in a relationship like yours. You sound like a very smart, caring, and forgiving individual there are dozens and dozens of guys out there just waiting to meet a girl like you, don't give yourself the short end of the stick.