[AllenS]

OK something else I figured I'd ask.
I hate how I look.
my thighs are too big. My cheeks are too fat.
I want a flat tummy. My nose is too big.
I weigh about 130 lbs.
I know I'm not fat. I don't starve myself. So no eating diabilities.
I guess you could say I have low self asteem.
The main prob is this:
My husband and I dated for 3 years. I had to move with my mom for a year, causing us to break up as she lived 764 miles away.
We were still friends. He lost his virginity to me.
( I keep in mind this may be the main thing... ) He dated two others while we were apart, as I dated a few others as well, not expecting I was to move back.
he had sex with his second ( now ex) girlfriend while I was away.
no not cheating we weren;t dating remember? I had sex with one other guy.
But it upsets me to NO end that he had sex with this chick.
I haven't a clue why though. When I moved back we got back together.
We've talked about my upsettedness towards his ex ( katie) whom he had sex with. But instead of easing my uneasiness, it seems to make it worse. It actually gets me depressed at times. It may be that I have a VERY vivid Imagination. ( you can guess on that part)
Or maybe it's poccibly the fact that he lost his virginity to me. Maybe I subconciously feel like he's always been mine.I tell myself all the time " I did it with some one else too... it shouldn't bother me, yet, it still bothers me. A lot. Any idea as to what might be the problem here? Not asking for Critique. Just some possible answers.
Also not looking for negative. Or rude replies, as I get that often.
I know I shouldn't be bothered by this but I am. Im so bothered by it that I can't stand hearing about her form his friends. His friend and him constantly say she was a major bi**h and that's why he broke up with her any how ( she tried tp make him toss all my stuff I had given him.) I know he loves me very much. We are so close, we tell each other everything and we wer both born in very good families. Ive never cheated and never will and he's never cheated either. And I know he won't ever. I trust him that much.
Any ideas as to why this bothers me so darn much? Even though I KNOW it shouldn't.
It bugs me to no end not knowing what's wrong with me!
Edit: I also forgot to add, that I've beem told what she looks like skinny(er than myself apparently) long brown soft hair ( which I don't have) tallish. etc. I also asked him if he could do something about the stuff she gave him and he happily agreed to rid of it ( a shirt and a few unwanted cd's she had given him thinking he'd like them). Maybe I just feel inferior to her... I haven't a clue. Maybe its because she sounds 5x's prettier than me and it lowers myself esteem even more. I don't know.

Sorry it s soooo long.

[Mario3]

I think what is wrong with you is that you don't know how men like girls with juicey thighs and something more than bones to walk on. If you want a skinny body you are out to impress females only because we guys want something else. Your ex sounds like a dicc

[AliMarGoo]

I understand how you feel. It's so hard knowing that you're not the last person that he was with. I've been there before too. Not in the same situation, but similar. Honestly him and I aren't together anymore, and if we were I would still be thinking about it. I think that it's perfectly natural to feel the way that you do. Your guy obviously loves you and is attracted to you as well. Truthfully it doesn't matter what she looks like. What matters most is that you have him back, and you love each other. I believe a lot of women have low self-esteem. You need to hear that you're beautiful. My step-sister told me to look in the mirror everyday when I'm alone and say... You're beautiful. The more that you hear this, then more you will start to believe it. It's probably better if you don't ask what she looks like anymore, or maybe, if it makes you feel better, ask his friends what some of her flaws were. There's no need to compare though because you are two different women. Congratulations on getting back together. I wish you guys the best!

[AllenS]

MY ex? No no Josh isn't my ex any more. We're married now. He could care less about looks. He assures me every day that he doesn't like too-skinny women or big breasts ( he finds big breasts rather repulsive, Keep what god gave you kind of thing) I think you took this as me saying he didn't find ME attractive. His mom and friends arealways telling me how he loves me so much and talks about me a lot. I know he thinks I'm beautiful. =]

[AliMarGoo]

No. What I meant was you said that you have low self-esteem (as you stated). I was talking about you. You need to do this for yourself! And I understand that you are married again... that's why I said congratulations =o)

[AllenS]

ohh lol nonono That wasnta reply to yours, see that was to the dude above you who replied to my post. I happened to be typing that as you were typing yours and it posted mine after yours. I appreciate your feedback and it made me feel MUCH better that I'm not alone and not some wierdo lol.

P.s. Thank you for your congrats =]

[AliMarGoo]

LOL OK thanks! I was like uhhh maybe she doesn't understand haha I'm happy for you!

[AllenS]

Lol yeah I understood :P np is that you in your avatar pic? If so you remind me of some one I use to know! You're pretty!

[AliMarGoo]

Awwww thank you very much! I'm not sure what an avatar pic is (sorry) but if you mean in my display pic, then yes... that is me. Your dog is gorgeous too by the way!

[joshua19]

EDIT: AHHH My friggin husband forgot to log out >< this is Allens jesus joshua... lmao SORRY!



Yeah lol an avvy is short for an avatar picture. Which indeed would be your display pic :P
Thanks also, She's a siberian husky. Love eher to death! I also have a orange/sable Pomeranian pup. He's just a fluffy ball of blitzy wonder!
I do appreciate your feedback. The guy who replied first, was kind of... I don't know.
I didn't exactly appreciate him calling my husband a 'dicc' e.e
Some people.
I was afraid I'd get a lot of negative feedback. But I was wrong!

[AllenS]

Well, lol at least you know what my hubby looks like XP
He goes to this site too. He hangs about the religion section.
Sorry about that, I spend a lot more time on here than he does and he forgot to log out and I wasn't paying attention. The above post WAS me so you know. Sorry for that lol!