[jenjen20]

My husband and I have 4 kids, been married for almost 10 years. For the past year and a half he is so insecure and jealous. He accuses me of having an affair, saying I am "doing" someone else. He never initiates any sexual encounter what so ever. I work full time, I have 4 kids, and I go to school. I was a stay at home mom for 7 years and went back to work. He yells, cusses at me, and now that he has congestive heart failure, he drinks and smokes still and has this insecure personality. He asks me a million questions all the time. Last February we got into a fight. He went to his heart doctor appt. and on the way home he stopped at the VFW and got drunk with one of his friends. He came home and started fighting with me, and threw me against the wood on my couch. I couldn't get up, he hid the phone... the story is more emotional abuse than the physical abuse encounter. I am afraid that if I leave, he will just follow me. I want to get a divorce but I have no idea how to do this. I live in Ohio. Can anyone help?

[bushg]

Jen you give me your county and I will try my best to hook you up with a women's group. Or close by. If you do not want to post it private message me. You can be free from this crap. Even if he is ill, that does not excuse his behavior!

[jenjen20]

Thanks so much. I live in Henry County. I can't put up with the crap anymore. Im walking on eggshells and my 8 year old daughter does everything to please him and I am sure its because she's afraid he'll get mad. I don't care about the material things I just want to be happy. I am venting sorry but I just want out and he claims he doesn't. It's a selfish thing with him. Everyone sees it since he does this in front of everyone. I have good friends that don't want to be around him. My kids love him to death and I wouldn't keep him away from them. I am sure I will have a tough time with them during this separation period. I have wanted a divorce for quite some time. Since I have never been through it I have no clue where to start. Thanks
Jen

[bushg]

Domestic Violence Awareness Online: Ohio Shelters/Hotlines You scroll down and find one that is near you. Henry county does not have but I believe Defiance does. Believe me these people can help you. Just be honest and tell them everything. Do not be ashamed. I know some of them closer to the cincinnati area and they have helped people out tremendously. Good luck. p.s. If you are not sastified with these, I can try to find ones in the neighboring states for you.

[bushg]

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These may be helpful.

[Marily]

I think you need to find the root of the problem, from there you could decide what you're going to do.

[self_lnflicted_hell]

I am venting sorry but I just want out and he claims he doesnt.

Don't be sorry... that's what this place is for :)
I admire you, a lot, because you know exactly what to do, you're just not exactly sure how to go about it. Good luck and I hope you can get out and away from his anger ASAP :)
It really is sad though when things like this happen. But whatever is meant to be will be.
Just keep your head up.

[self_lnflicted_hell]

I think you need to find the root of the problem, from there you could decide what you're going to do.

She knows what the root of the problem is. He's insecure, he mentally abuses her, threw her down, downgrades her, doesn't trust her, drinks like a fish, treats her like trash... Are you not seeing it? And she knows what she wants to do. Once the love, respect, trust and faith in the relationship are gone, what is there to try for? And the kids! They don't need to see that and put up with it. She's doing what's best for her and the kids... Her husband needs help before he damages himself any more. Obviously he doesn't care about himself, so how is he suppose to care for her and the kids?

[J_9]

I think you need to find the root of the problem, from there you could decide what you're going to do.

I believe the root of the problem is abuse and alcoholism. So, knowing that I suppose you would stay Marily. I am glad I live my life in reality with my feet planted firmly on Mother Earth.

Hun, Bushg gave you some wonderful advice and good numbers to contact. Please get out of this situation as fast as you can. Your children are learning by watching him. If you stay, this teaches them that this is acceptable behavior. And you know full well that it is NOT.

Please keep us posted on how well you are doing.

[Kimberly66]

Jenjen-
I have been going through mental, emotional and physical abuse for the last 3 1/2 years.. I had well meaning Godly people telling me to stay and have faith- God will change him- this was even after he put a cocked and loaded shot gun to my head and was going to kill me but passed out from alcohol before he did. I stayed- praying God would change him- my boys were scared to death- always trying to please him- My ex got custody of my boys to get them out of the situation... my credit has been trashed- I am isolated from working, having friends, money.. myself esteem was in the toilet, depressed- wanted to not wake up in the morning----- God DOES NOT INTEND for anyone to live this way-- financially I can't make it on my own... but I will live in my car as to live with this man any longer. I am a good woman and so are you- you need to take care of you and your kids first- your husband has issues that you can not fix- don't let it go as long as I have- my husband hit me for the last time 3 weeks ago- told me it's just a respone when we argue- BULL! You let them do it once they will continue. Love yourself Jen- get out!