[lost girl]

First of all, I am 32 years old and I have been with guys, (even married) mainly because it's the "right thing" to do and because it's the "norm." I have been with one woman, and kissed a few others. I will catch myself finding skinamax (cinemax) soft core porn on hoping to see two girls together. I also found out in the last year or so that my uncle was probably gay and I have know for years and years that one of my aunts is a lesbian and finally my other aunt is probably asexual.

I also know my mother has become very friendly with a woman who is a lesbian (not in sexual way just friendship way) so my family may be more open to the idea of a daughter who isn't straight, which might have been one of the may reasons I didn't follow what might be in my heart.

I also I have friends who are both gay and lesbian and they all joke that I should “change teams.”

Okay where is all of this going? I have always been interested in women, but I also have found some men very sexy looking. I also am wondering if I am thinking of pursuing a step into the gay/lesbian word. I have never really found sex with men very enjoyable honestly and the one woman I have been with was so psycho that at the time it turned me off women… so am I a lesbian or not?

[peanut6966]

Hmm tough one, if women are the ones that turn you on sexualy then I would say you are gay, even though you find men attractive (some) they do nothing for you. I am married and I am not gay but I do notice when there is an attractive woman walking down the street... I say go with what makes you happy :)

[lostinatrance]

I'd say you're bisexual. Don't hide your sexuality just because it's not the norm, because what is normal anyway? Society is stupid, don't let them rule your heart and your mind.

[E3317]

Stop trying to look for reason to be gay or bisexual. It is not something that runs in the blood. It is a matter of prefrence. If you like women, like them. I you like men like them, if you like both firuge out a way to make it work, but don't try to look at your family or friends for causing you to be this way.

[Midnight75]

I think letting go of having to belong to one particular team would help. My sister is gay but had slept with men in the past, but she falls in love with women and is attracted to women. I would try sleeping with or dating a woman again and see how you feel.

[Sunbee5]

Definitely bisexual. If you find men attractive but also look at women and more importantly DESIRE them, chances are you want a bit of both. What is stopping you from trying a few dates with women, see how it goes and if it feels comfortable- well then you know. If however you see that despite being curious about women, you are not sexually attracted or turned on by them, then maybe you just admire the female form and other women in generally but it is NOT sexual- hence not lesbian or bi. Go out there and find out! :)