[benisse]

Hello, He goes out pretty much every night and comes back around midnight. Basically our day runs always the same come home from work, eat together, and then he is gone until midnight, every day, his friends are not the best either. The difference is that I have very clearly told him I don't like it, I have even gotten his stuff out of the house, kick him out a couple of times, then he comes back when I'm not so mad, stays home 2-3 days, sometimes 4 and goes back to the same thing. We have been married for 3 yrs and we have a 2 yr old baby.

[bigdreamer85]

I too have this same problem, and my mother in law says I need to just deal with it because he works all day (ima stay at home mom) and that he DESERVES to go out with his friends and drink when he gets off.. I totally dissagree but I wish too I could find a way to keep him home without having all his buddies at my house...

[benisse]

Well... I work, and I work a lot, I pay for most of the bills, and I usually never go out once I get home. Someitmes I think it's my fault because he doens;t want to be with me but actually last noght I told him he had 2 options either being a normal husband and stay home abd least 5 night a week or he can get out, but he could not have both. I feel that I'm carrying all the weight, sometimes he helps me out with house chores but again, he barely helps with bills (he doesn't make good money) he works but then he complains aboiut how hard he works (he does not work half of what I work) I don't know, sometimes I really feell like I should get out of the house and get divorced, because he is definitely not wanting to get out and that would be basically the only way to do it. Why the way, I'm the one also making the house payments.

[shatteredsoul]

I don't think I could handle what any of you go through. I think you tolerate more than what's humanly expected. To put it simply, you are who you hang with. I don't think anything good can happen in a marriage when the other partner puts more effort into his friends than his own relationship. There is no need to spend THAT much time away from home, it is an escape from home life and all the responsibilities. Must be nice for him, not for you. Totally selfish and he doesn't care at all about your feelings. What if you brought the baby to your friend's or family's house and didn't come home yourself, how would he feel? I think tolerance of such behavior constitutes acceptance. If my husband did that to me over and over, I would change the locks and throw his sh!t out the front dooR! Let him sleep at his friend's house if he likes it there so much. Come home when he's ready to put down the damn video games and grow up. If his friends are alcoholics and drug addicts, what do you think he is doing with them? NOT Good for your relationship. YOu should seriously think about finding a therapist to deal with this because this is only going to get worse. Sorry I don't mean to come off so abrasive, it is my opinion...

[talaniman]

If talking does no good then actions must be taken.

I think tolerance of such behavior constitutes acceptance.

Do not tolerate this behavior at all, and letting him sleep in the car, or with his friends, or his mother's house, is better than bringing that behavior home. Why should you bust your butt and be responsible, and he be a jerk.

[Marily]

You do have the option to pray for your husband, seems like he clearly doesn't care about your feelings