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Aandfu · Jul 12, 2007, 08:47 PM

I have a daughter and her dad was caught stealing vodka with her at a grocery store and has been in and out of jail for drugs and other things. I'm tired of him not being a dedicated father and I want him to sign over his rights because he is a bad influence in her life. He doesn't pay child support and he doesn't try to contact me. The only time he sees her is when I take her to see her grandpa from time to time. I want him out of the picture but he refuses to give her up even though he never even asks about her. He doesn't even spend time with her and there have been many times when he told me to come pick up money and when I showed up there was always an excuse of where it went. How can I get his rights taken away? Please tell me there is hope.

excon · Jul 13, 2007, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by Aandfu

How can I get his rights taken away?

Hello A:

You can't. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to your daughter if you did.

excon

MomOf-3-Boyz · Jul 13, 2007, 07:55 AM

I would not listen to anyone named ex con :p... you talk to a lawyer.. heck talk to several and just so you know most states do not make you in force the visitation if child support is not current... also you might not have to have his Legal rights taken away just go to the court and ask for sole legal custody and sole placement... or you could try telling him sign over your rights and I will never ask for a penny from you in child support... don't and I will contact child support and have you arrested for being a dead beat dad... that might make him change his mind or heck maybe it would even be a wake up call to quit doing that stupid crap ! Who knows! But the first thing you NEED to be doing is calling SEVERAL different lawyers and see what they say most lawyers do a free half hour to hour consult ! It can't hurt ! But it might help !
Good luck !

excon · Jul 13, 2007, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by MomOf-3-Boyz

I would not listen to anyone named ex con :p ... or you could try telling him sign over your rights and I will never ask for a penny from you in child support ...

Hello again,

And, I wouldn't listen to anyone who puts people down - especially when their knowledge of the law is lacking along with their manners.

In fact, visitation has NOTHING to do with child support. Plus, it's a very bad idea to forgo child support - a very, very bad idea.

excon

s_cianci · Jul 14, 2007, 08:37 AM

Has there been an actual court order for child support established? If not, you should get one. Getting a judge to force him to "sign over his rights" is not likely to happen. If he petitions for visitation, an order will be issued for that as well. The frequency and conditions will depend on what's deemed to be in the best interests of the child, based on the circumstances you've described here.

s_cianci · Jul 14, 2007, 08:39 AM

excon is right - child support and visitation have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

serialwife · Jul 14, 2007, 09:32 AM

Okay termination of parental rights is a very tricky subject. The only parties that can force a termination are social services in extreme instances of negect or abuse. That is only after a 15 month window of social services working diligently with the family towards reunification.
Visition and Child support are UNRELATED!! You do not simply have a right to see a child if you pay support. Nor can you with hold visitation due to lack of child support.There are tons of case law to support the non paying parents rights to the child.
If you want to keep him away from the child make a report to social services about her being present when he was caught stealing. Witnessing or facilitating criminal activity for a minor is neglect!! Furthmore, call child support enforcement in your state. Set up his payments to come through the state agency. When he fails to pay over a certain time he'll be picked up and incarcerated for flagrant non support.
The only person losing in this situation will be your daughter. Any relative she has on her father's side would no longer be a realtion if ypu had her dad's rights terminated.

Canada_Sweety · Jul 14, 2007, 09:41 AM

I can honestly and whole heartedly say call a lawyer and do what is best for your child. I have EVERY right to say this because that's almost the same situation I had with my father when I was growing up. You think your daughter doesn't know what'sgoing on, well guess again. She doesn't need a negative influence in her life and she doesn't need to get her heart broken every time he chooses to come and go. But before you do anything you MUST ask your daughter what she wants. I know it's hard for you and I know it's hard for your daughter. I wish for the best for both of you. Best wishes. You have my love & support.

MomOf-3-Boyz · Jul 14, 2007, 11:50 PM

Ex con , I apologize... I was making a joke... also I know first hand that in Wisconsin... if child support goes more then 3 months with out being paid he or she will be arrested... if they find them.. what is the point of having a support order if the father is not paying anyway? If there is no support order or your court papers state that he is to pay you personally and not through the state it gets a lot harder to prove that he hasn't been paying! Ok and I guess I was mistaken about the support and visitation issue , but he would have to get the courts involved to MAKE you allow visitation, and from what you described about him, he doesn't even see her on a regular basis anyway .
And am I to believe that the daughter is losing out by having the father not be a part of her life? I am sorry but if this was my child I would not want him to be apart of her life! Now if he cleaned his act up that would be a whole different story, and I do believe that anyone can change their ways if they want to but they have to want to, and they need to have the right help to do it... you might want to suggest he seek counseling.
Now if you were able to terminate his rights... which is next to impossible there is no reason his family members could not still stay in contact with her... that would be your choice, but if something happened to you his family would have no rights. Which is why I think you should try for Sole custody , Sole physical placement, this way you are not terminating his rights completely and if he changes for the better he can become a part of her life, and you can have custody and placement changed so he can be a part of her life again. At least this is how it would work in WI.
I still stand firm and say you need to talk to a lawyer in YOUR state and find out what you can do .
I really feel for you and I pray that you can find the help you need. Good luck !
Ange