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I don't know for some reason I'll be happy and then I'll be sad for no reason, sometimes I just want to kill myself and sometimes I cry.. I don't know what's happening to me.. Ever since 9/11, this is way back, I've always been teased by the kids that I'm a terrorist, no one would talk to me, I'm a taliban, I'm Osama Bin Laden... The even laugh at my accent. When I was still in school, girls would ask me out and then they would laugh and giggle at me.. My parents even told me that I wasn't even good lucking, that I was ugly, every time I had a fight with them they would say that I'm ugly, look at your face... Sometimes I think of just running away from home or just go head on @ 100 + mph of a cliff.. I can't even talk to my brothers or parents they'll just laugh at me. I really have no friends, no one to call and to talk to and listen to me.. I look back on my life and I see a how worthless I was. When my brother come over with his fiancé and they take me out.. I don't really want to go but his fiancé always drags me out.. I'm like really pathetic when I go with them to the movies or any way.. I think I'm just in there way.. I would like to know how it is to be love, to go out have fun... Ionno I'm so confused...
I would like to go to counseling but the only thing that's keeping me is when the bill arrives my parents would get the mail and start to laugh at me and get mad at me from a shrink.
Is there away that the Doctor don't send the bill or the statement showing I went to the doctor? Like I can just pay if off right there or something? I'm going to be using my dad Health Plan.
I've even been mistreated by my brother, when I was small, I only thought of it as a game, ionno can hardly remember, but I do remember , but now I know abot all these stuff when I'm looking at the news, now I know it was wrong. I don't know but my brother use to harrass me sexually.. I don't mean verbally.
Sorry about all my words and sentence are jumble up..
Thanks for listen to me.. I really appreciate it.
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